#todayisatwith

[bazisindane]

It's only Fitting i get to sit down with incredible women, since we're celebrating Women's Month in South Africa right and in honour of Women's Month, I'm doing a Portait Series i call #PortraitsAgainstGBV with the hopes of giving women a voice really. #TodayISatWith the awesome @lindi_emme! Nothing but Good Vibes here! This is what she had to say: "The reality faced by South African women from all walks of life today is that a trip to the grocery store, to work, to a friend’s house or a leisure walk could end with her being in “missing” poster or worse it could be the last day anyone sees her alive. What’s even scarier? She faces the same odds just staying at home. If anyone were to ask me what my biggest wish is, the answer would easily be to not feel endangered simply because i a woman. I am not one to ask for much but today i have a few other items on my wish list and anyone who will see it is challenged to help me fulfill it 1. Don’t shame the victim. 2. Don’t protect the perpetrators. 3. No means no. A coerced yes is still a No. 4. Hold your bros accountable, yes even at the expense of your friendships. 5. Do not hold a space for abusive people to thrive and continue to cause harm. 6. Be less obsessed with the politics of self exoneration, if you are a ‘good man’, you will never need to convince anyone that you are, your actions speak more than your words. 7. Protect the disenfranchised even at the expense of the loss of business interest. 8. Men who violate women are not monsters or mystical creatures, they are men, hold them accountable and stop trying to make excuses for them. I believe a world where women can exist without fear is possible, but men have to be willing to relinquish their power and own up to the fact that they do not own women. However, my biggest request may just be to please see women as individuals, complete human beings and not an extension of or an accessory to men. To paraphrase Thomas Sankara; are we really free if half the population is not?." Ph📷: @bazisindane #ChallengeAccepted #GBVAgainstWomen #Portraits #blackandwhite #bnw #blackandwhiteisworththefight #blackandwhitehumanphotos #bnwphotography #monochrome https://www.instagram.com/p/CD_0WishAhR/?igshid=1r7gg256r09nr

[bazisindane]

As we continue celebrating Women's Month, #TodayISatWith @ndlovuwandisa. She makes good coffee, hands down! Our Portrait session was one for the books!! Absolutely nothing short of amazing. We really sat down and touched on a lot of Topics around the issue of #GBV. @ndlovuwandisa you're the true definition of Rock Solid Strong, a Mbokodo! This is what she had to say: "A friend once asked me what is toxic masculinity and for a second I stumbled over my words because it is such a loaded statement. As I thought about it more, I thought shouldn’t the question be more around what toxic humanity is? We speak so fondly of all that should be normalized in gender roles but we forget to normalize love. Love is patient, love is kind… It does not dishonor others… it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs, but abuse is violent and it strips one of their very essence, by the time you leave an abusive relationship you are a shadow of who you once were. GBV in any shape or form is not love. For every day you stay in an abusive relationship, you deny yourself the opportunity to be a survivor. I cannot speak of the warning signs because they manifest differently in every abuser but I can speak of the illusion that if ‘I stay I can save him”… The toxicity in his humanity is for him to save. As the abused your strength is overcoming that paralyzing fear of “maybe it’s me” and leave to save your own humanity." When will it end? Ph📷: @BaziSindane #GBVAgainstWomen #NotInMyName #EnoughIsEnough #GBV #Portraits #blackandwhite #bnw #blackandwhiteisworththefight #blackandwhitehumanphotos #bnwphotography #monochrome #African #naturalbeauty #bnwafrica #portraitpage #lovesportraits #loveportaits #afro #bnw_users #bnw_diamond #world_bnw #bnwportrait #bnwdrama #bnw_grammers #incredible_bnw #bnwwoman #portraitsbnw https://www.instagram.com/p/CD9SE5ShTdW/?igshid=kjnwvwmnjoft

[bazisindane]

#TodayISatWith @ruththulo . I will never forget our encounter, i promise you the next time i will say Yes to the Tea and Biscuits, simply because i realized after our #PortraitSession that i was in the presence of greatness, to the least! This is what she had to say: "Love is kind, love protects, love keeps no record of no wrong , love overcomes all things ... where there is no Love misuse or ill treatment is inevitable... perhaps the greatest gap in the lives of many is that there is no revelation of true love, first for themselves and then others... As a result they destroy what they should protect... It is my mission to see people get whole. This all starts with recognizing your weaknesses, your wounds & your wrongs. You could never be the best version of yourself to others if you’re not to yourself. As someone who witnessed GBV, personally I can tell you that, what you don’t confront will continue... Let’s confront the fears, the past hurts, the trauma, the pain, the injustice, the inequality. All of it. Male and Female." Ph📷: @BaziSindane #Portraits #blackandwhite #bnw #blackandwhiteisworththefight #blackandwhitehumanphotos #bnwphotography #monochrome #African #naturalbeauty #bnwafrica #portraitpage #lovesportraits #loveportaits #afro #bnw_users #bnw_diamond #world_bnw #bnwportrait #bnwdrama #bnw_grammers #incredible_bnw #bnwwoman #portraitsbnw https://www.instagram.com/p/CDsDUEhB4wT/?igshid=pv7e1f4e3oji

[bazisindane]

Doing this Portrait sessions has given me the opportunity to not only photograph beautiful women, but the opportunity to learn from them as well. The aim is to share Portaits of 31 women in honour of celebrating Women's Month, that would tell their stories with the hopes to inspire, end the silence in Domestic Aduse. #TodayISatWith the amazing @beautifullpalo, shared her experiences on working in a male dominated field. This is what she had to say: "I have worked in the corporate field filled with men and it was not easy. I had to prove myself extra hard so I get taken serious and get heard. There were days were I would go to my office and wonder why am I even here, this is not worth it. I had to fix my tilted crown and put my A game on. Dave Grohl said No one is you and that is your power. A support system is important and I’m glad I had that. I chose to be me and that helped me find my strengths. Those strengths are helping me face everything I come across including fighting fear. Woman need to start believing in themselves and seeing their worth! They are capable to do anything they put their mind to. Love yourself , protect yourself by all means and know that you are deserving of everything that brings you peace of mind 🌻" Ph📷: @BaziSindane #Portraits #blackandwhite #bnw #blackandwhiteisworththefight #blackandwhitehumanphotos #bnwphotography #monochrome #African #naturalbeauty #bnwafrica #portraitpage #lovesportraits #loveportaits #afro #bnw_users #bnw_diamond #world_bnw #bnwportrait #bnwdrama #bnw_grammers #incredible_bnw #bnwwoman #portraitsbnw https://www.instagram.com/p/CDpX1fIhSF6/?igshid=z1gmtmhcm5vx

[bazisindane]

Meet @khanyie_m. A personality short of nothing but amazing! Our Portait Session that was supposed to be at least 30 minutes long ended up being well over 2 hours, guess who was doing all the talking? (Hint: Afro) #TodayISatWith Khanyiswa, I'm so grateful @khanyie_m for you sharing your story with me. Each and everyday i learn new things from these amazing women. What is sad though is how so many women have different stories on how they were violated by men, each story is different. I mean how creative can we be? This is what she had to say: I remember being harassed but they probably don't even remember my face. I say "they" because it happened more than once. I've probably buried many memories but I remember walking to the shop and having a random guy smack my bum, at the time I thought nothing of it because you know "boys will be boys". I remember my then boyfriend literally twisting my wrist when he didn't get his way. I remember. Part of the reason why I'm hesitant to speak on these things is because what happened to me wasn't as violent, there's a little voice that says it could've have been worse. In a way I guess it's something to console myself, but on the other hand I'm silencing my experience. We don't speak about the "small" things and we forget about the scars that aren't physical, well at least we try to. I sometimes ask myself if my silence could've possibly led to another victim. If you keep swiping you'll find a modified extract from a poem I wrote in 2016 but still resonates to date... So when the noise dies down and the hashtags stop trending, I hope you're not silent. I hope the conversation keeps going. I hope we are all willing to learn and to unlearn, because this is our reality. We can Do better! We Need to Do better! Ph 📷: @bazisindane #NotInMyName #WomensMonth #GBVAgainstWomen #Portraits #portraitsbnw #blackandwhiteisworththefight #blackandwhitehumanphotos https://www.instagram.com/p/CDlvc80hByP/?igshid=1gx653cu2b31d

[bazisindane]

Meet @khanyie_m. A personality short of nothing but amazing! #TodayISatWith Khanyiswa, I'm so grateful @khanyie_m for you sharing your story with me. Each and everyday i learn new things from these amazing women. What is sad though is how so many women have different stories on how they were violated by men, each story is different. I mean how creative can we be? This is what she had to say: https://www.instagram.com/p/CDkC7pUBuLE/?igshid=jg8su0iig9qb

[bazisindane]

#TodayISatWith an amazing young Lawyer. Smart, Beautiful and intelligent to say the least, Zinhle Mbokane. In her years as a lawyer and has advocated for women's right. We had an interesting chat on the legalities and steps to take when faced with a situation, this is what she had to say "Being a woman today means being of service to others without sacrificing oneself. It is being able to draw boundaries that cater to your emotional health and saying no when you have to, without feeling any guilt. A woman attends to nurturing others and does not neglect her responsibility to nurture herself. You strike a woman, you strike a woman! I urge victims of Gender Based Violence to stop protecting their partners who inflict physical harm on them, by withdrawing charges of domestic violence. This is a disservice to the Criminal Justice System that has measures in place to assist victims of Gender Based Violenc. Lastly, women shouldn't be afraid to press GBV charges against partners who support them financially. Contact your local attorney for maintenance and protection order advice. Consult with your local attorney to assert your rights regarding maintenance and protection order." Ph 📷 : @bazisindane #Portraits #blackandwhite #bnw #blackandwhiteisworththefight #blackandwhitehumanphotos #bnwphotography #monochrome #African #naturalbeauty #bnwafrica #portraitpage #lovesportraits #loveportaits #afro #bnw_users #bnw_diamond #world_bnw #bnwportrait #bnwdrama #bnw_grammers #incredible_bnw #bnwwoman #portraitsbnw https://www.instagram.com/p/CDhD0F5hI6G/?igshid=olwloqg23jgx

[bazisindane]

Day 1: #TodayISatWith the beautiful @ziyanda_ndaba during our Portrait Session. Reflecting on all things women during this Womans Month, we had though provoking conversations on the issue of #GBV specially in S.A. this is what she had to say *Gender Based Violence against women.* "We know the predators,We know the victims . But who is responsible for preventing it??? The answer is “Everyone” . Starting with parents and the way they raise the new generation of boys and girls. Teaching both young boys and girls not only to respect their elders but also their peers ,teaching both boys and girls to set boundaries and most importantly teaching them what being respected means they can recognize situations where they are not being respected from a young age. From the parents the responsibility of preventing GBV shifts from the parents to the adolescents and adults as Individuals .At this stage it can start with something as small as for calling out your friends who make and laugh at rape jokes to explaining that when a person says “no” that means no ,it does not mean convince her. And as we get older it moves to “don’t touch her “ when she is clearly uncomfortable to “stop catcalling “ ,”don’t follow her down the street” after she clearly told you she has places to be and does not need to to accompany her 😒what ever that means 🤦🏽‍♂️to more serious upfront confrontations like “there is no excuse for abuse, rape and femicide as a whole “ but most importantly DEMAND JUSTICE!!!! This is a crime against women ,you can not expect women alone to fight it .my list may not be perfect but when the hashtags stop trending and the protests come to an end the very least EVERYONE can do is hold these people accountable." Thank You So much for your time @ziyanda_ndaba and for agreeing to sit down with me. We need not only need to have tough conversations about this as Men, but we need to do better! 📷 @bazisindane https://www.instagram.com/p/CDZAwKnhL5W/?igshid=595kllq1fx73