As she spent more and more time beyond the walls of the palace, her hair began to lighten from its dark, onyx shade. Soon enough she was back to that pale, dirty blond...the mark of a new season’s beginning.
I sit here and I watch Aviva and Seth with their children, and I am struck once again by the life I live. When I was younger...I had this picture of what my life would be like. Even after my mother’s strange and sudden disappearance/death, that picture never truly faltered. I saw myself falling for a prince, or a young man of high rank, who could love me as I am and propose to me in this romantic way just outside of my father’s castle...kneeling in the snow while my father kept his hand over Caspian’s mouth to keep him from ruining the moment. Both of them there to witness it all because they approved of the man...and they were happy for me. I saw myself in love. Having a large wedding and being happy.
But I learned something as I grew older. Love...is really only a fairy tale. It doesn’t exist -- not in the way everyone thinks. There is never a happy ending to it all. I saw that by watching my mother as I grew older...then my father, uncles, aunts, and cousins. So I suppose I cannot completely blame William for all that he is done. We fell in love, and then just as easily fell out of it. There was never supposed to be a happy ending for us. We are far too different for this to ever have worked. I don’t know why I didn’t see that before, but watching Aviva and Seth with their two beautiful children...I do now.
If I ever get a chance to speak to William, I will share my thoughts. We were never truly engaged any ways. I believe I will go with Aviva and Seth when they choose to return to Hillside...I hear they will need extra hands to help with the sick and wounded after the troubles that have plagued the area. I will speak to Sky, as well, about sending supplies to help in restoring and rebuilding. It will do well if we are to form an alliance with lands.
The time away will give me a chance to clear my mind and fix my heart. Happy endings are overrated any ways...