Potty training a 3-year-old should be easy, right? He's had a bit of time to acclimate himself to how things are done in the adult world so his shit should be straight. This is my reasoning.
I guess I shouldn't expect such things since there has been little "training" on my part. Unless you consider ordering a Prince Lionheart self-standing training toilet off Amazon and plopping it down in the middle of the living room floor. Poor guy was probably traumatized when I ripped off his diaper and said "here you go; now try not to get anything on the floor." I really am a shit dad.
Not once have I stood in the bathroom and demonstrated just how it's done. One time, when I was forced to take him into the library bathroom with me, he caught a glimpse and asked "you peeing out you hand?" "No, buddy. I'm not peeing out of my hand." And that was that.
So now, after one instance of whizzing into a clothes basket full of whites, he's taken to just dribbling his business willy-nilly all over the floor, couch, bed, etc. The kid hasn't even had his first beer yet. Well, not a whole one at least. Shit. Guess I'm gonna have to sit down and show him how to do this potty business like a real man. Whatever the hell that is.