This is completely normal
I have completely broken down on 46th st. That’s right, tears, everywhere. I have a good reason for it, I promise. It was March 22, 2015. If/Then was closing on broadway. And I was seeing that show. I had just gone into my favorite pizza place with Cameron. The show wasn’t to start for a couple more hours so we were grabbing some food and then we were going to walk around for a bit more. No problem, totally cool, nothing emotional about that. Well. The second I bit into my pizza Cameron, not a bit content, basically shouted my name. I turned to him, mouth full of the greasy goodness that is New York Tomato Basil pizza, only to see him pointing in the opposite direction. And then I nearly died.
I swallowed hard and slow and all at once almost choked, so yes I nearly died physically, as well as mentally. Two of my favorite writers, Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey (they’ve written If/Then and one of my favorite shows Next to Normal) were walking down the street towards us. My mind was over stimulated I looked at my pizza and threw it out immediately, what do i do with my hands, just happened to be repeat itself in my head. I watched them walk past me into Corso. Cameron basically gave me a look of concern, telling me that I could not let this pass I could not let this moment be another what if. So I waited.
I was polite, I even said excuse me. Tom was talking to some other man I didn’t recognize but Brian stopped and listened, I let him know that they were the reason I started writing again, I thanked them for everything. I shook their hands! They asked me what my name was, they wished me luck! As did I them. I don’t remember what I did with my hands, but my mind just didn’t even care anymore. I turned away, I stepped into the street, I’m positive that the world went silent and then a crack. I faltered. I lost it. Cameron watched me as I crossed the street into his arms and sobbed as the world came back into view and the crowd at the stage door cheered the writers on as the walked past us.
I laughed.
