Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (sometimes just referred to as R)
Word count: 1.1K
Summary: The love you have for Tom Holland consumes you so much that you sometimes can’t imagine how it would feel to not love him. But it comes a day when you start doubting your feelings. When Tom announced that he had a girlfriend, your heart was broken to the point that you thought you could never heal.
A/N: Thanks to the lovely @hollands-osterfield for giving me this idea and helping me out when I needed her! A lot of cred to her! AO3 link
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I was carried along by the crowd. Still waiting for them to walk down the red carpet. When I heard the screams get hysteric, I knew that he had arrived. My breath was caught in my chest and I wanted to scream out of excitement but nothing came out.
I was in shock. I was happy. I was on the moon.
He walked down the red carpet, waving and giving the crowd and the paparazzi his biggest smile. My heart was skipping a thousand beats. It was so unreal seeing him this close.
I think it was when he got closer to the crowd and started signing pictures and drawings, that it finally hit me. He was here, barely 30 feet away from me, and that’s when my tears started pouring down.
Oh my God, he is here.
And just like that, he was right in front of me, signing the picture of him that I had printed out.
“Are you okay? I promise the movie will be good, don’t cry.” His playfulness and that little laugh along with it was like a wave of calmness and peace washed over my heart. He gave me a quick glance and a smile and I felt like I was the happiest girl alive.
Infinity War was amazing and I cried my eyes out at the end of it. I think everyone did.
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A few months later, it was time for comic con and I had managed to get both autograph and photo-op tickets. The same went with the panel tickets.
When it was my turn in line to take the picture I was pushed into the little area behind the curtain by a guard, and everything went by so quickly. But for me, everything was in slow-motion. I remember it all as if it was yesterday, although sometimes it feels like ages ago.
I made a copy of the picture and saved it in my drawer. Maybe I would meet him again and that was a great thing to give to him. He might throw it away, but I would go on with the thought that Tom would have something of mine. Something that he was a part of.
And he did get that picture. He got the picture about a year later when he was doing the FanX panel. I wished he wasn’t wearing the hat so I could see his hair. Oh, how I imagined running my fingers through that soft hair while holding him close in my arms. Maybe give him a kiss on the cheek and quietly confess my love for him with a whisper close to his ear.
That day at the FanX photo-ops I got yet another picture with him and I felt the same joy as the last time. I had brought the framed picture with me with a note at the back of the picture, hidden in the frame.
“This is for you, there’s a note on the back of the picture, read it when you have the time,” I got the words out and handed him the picture with trembling hands.
“Thank you, darling, come here give me a hug,” I think my heart was about to explode and I don’t know how I could be so calm and collected on the outside while my insides were on fire. We took the picture and he gave me one last hug and one of those bright smiles of his that warmed my heart.
His laugh and how his eyes wrinkled at the sides were like a movie that one couldn’t get enough of. You just wanted to play it over and over and over again until you knew every frame of the movie like the back of your hand. He was like a movie based on a book that one couldn’t get enough of, the kind that you would watch the movie and then read the book back to back and still love it like it was the first time.
The tears in my eyes weren’t because of the sadness that he might never remember my face, they were because of how he was utterly and completely pure. His soul attracted me, to the point that I wanted to know everything about him, but through him, and not just the internet.
If someone asked me “would you rather have a conversation with him without any proof to the outside world that you had that conversation, or just have a picture with him” I would pick the conversation. I would choose to have a conversation with him and then afterward write down everything we said and read it all over again. As if I was writing my own book about him. With every ounce of his soul tinting the words written on the paper.
Don’t get me wrong, I was so thankful for the picture and those few moments I got with him. I will always be thankful for those moments.
I always thought that my love for him would never lose its strength and fire. But I couldn’t be more wrong.
Two months after the FanX panel, every tabloid was filled with headlines about Tom being seen with a mystery girl. She was gorgeous so I didn’t blame him for going out with her. She had light brown hair and a slim figure and she was about the same height as Tom himself. The pictures of them holding hands and being all cuddly were all over Tumblr and Twitter and Instagram and it was driving me insane.
I didn’t want to believe it. It was hard for me to believe it. After all, they could just be friends and Tom hadn’t said anything himself, until he did. A week later a video of him on BBC 1 radio was uploaded and the question about the mysterious brunette was brought up.
“At first I tried to ignore it all, but people were getting crazy and started sending her hate which I’m not happy about. Like, if you are a fan of mine you should be happy for my sake. So to answer your question, yes I am in a relationship with Madison and we have actually been dating for seven months. I am a really private person and this was the first time something like this happened and I thought that if I kept ignoring it, it would get worse. And I will continue to keep my private life private but it will probably be a bit easier, not having to hide.”
I watched that video twenty times and it hurt every single time.
He had a girlfriend and it hurt like hell.
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A/N: I really enjoyed writing this, although I love to have a third-pov but I liked writing from the reader’s pov and explore the thoughts. I will tag every part of this mini-series with #Starting Over and you can find it in #my writing as well in my bio. Please leave feedback!
This is an interview published in the Finnish film magazine “Episodi” in February 2017. Interview by Marta Balaga. Translation by me @TomTheNextLevel
It’s great to be Tom Hiddleston. Ever since his breakthrough role as Marvel’s God Of Mischief Loki his fame has been on the up. The end result? A legion of dedicated Hiddlestoners and a Golden Globe for the TV series “The Night Manager”.
Now the old Etonian’s career has reached a new high as he gets to measure his worth as an action hero in the 190 million dollar adventure “Kong : Skull Island”.
Except …
It’s crap to be Tom Hiddleston. Crimson Peak flopped badly, and less said about his version of Hank Williams in the biopic “I Saw The Light”, the better. The short affair with Taylor Swift demoted him from one of the hottest new stars to tabloid fodder. Even the Golden Globe win didn’t help. His thank you speech was criticised as massively egotistical. One of the nicer comments on twitter was “No wonder Swift called it a day.”
Now that “Kong : Skull Island” finally hits the big screen it’s time to forget the famous words “it was beauty killed the beast”. This time the beast might save the beauty’s career.
Before the interview we had some time to recall some of Hiddleston’s most memorable appearances on various chat shows on TV.
You yodel and do some brilliant impersonations. Don’t you ever relax?
I try not to take myself too seriously on chat shows. The whole idea of them is to entertain. I tune in to the wavelength of the host and have fun. I think of it as mucking about rather than putting on a show. And it’s a relief – I tend to get lost in my own head.
Acting is like having an endless conversation about identity – how we explain our personalities … even to ourselves. I am Tom. I’m from London. This is my family, this is how I was schooled. This is how I dress, this is how I speak. But we go through it daily and identity is more fluid than most want to admit. It’s entertaining to play with it.
Is that why you choose the most contrasting roles that defy compartmentalization?
I look into my potential to change myself into a different person. I’ve set myself a challenge to find something in common in superficially similar people all across the mankind by taking on different roles. It has been very humane because at the end of the day we are all motivated by the same things: loss, love, grief.
Can you do that when you play the Marvel villain?
I don’t differentiate between roles like that. Maybe I think that being a villain and a hero are connected by what choices you make. Villains make bad choices. Heroes choose well. But in the end we are all part of the same human mass. People are genuinely multi-faceted and conflicting characters and so is Loki. That’s my approach to a role whether it’s Shakespeare or “Kong : Skull Island”.
You were a Kong fan before?
I’ve always liked Kong. Especially what is says about the awesome power of nature. It’s a very humbling story because it makes you think how small we really are. But nowadays it’s rare to get to act in a film like this. I mean damn, it’s a King Kong film! You can’t compare it to anything.
Am I right in saying this story is set in the 1970’s?
That is something (director) Jordan (Vogt-Roberts) wanted to stick to right from the beginning. Back then technology wasn’t as developed, it was easier to believe in mysteries. It’s nice that somebody wanted to make a film that feels like that. He wanted to have that rough around the edges atmosphere just after the end of the Vietnam war.
An actor has to react to what he sees and Jordan made that surprisingly easy. We travelled to Australia, Vietnam, Hawaii. We were constantly outside. We were filming in real environments which isn’t a given (in films any more) and that was an enormous help. When you are physically in a real place it’s easier to react. Vietnam especially was a fantastic place. In a way it’s a very retro movie. Even my dialogue with Brie Larson, who plays a war photographer, has hints of old Hollywood.
You got to travel when you were making The Night Manager as well …
We went to Switzerland, Morocco, Majorca. The most important place was London though as I did my own research at the Rosewood Hotel in Holborn. The night manager there has been on the job for 25 years and he was perfect. He told me how to treat people so they feel welcome. It was fascinating to watch what sort of discipline and forgetting about your own needs it requires. Running a hotel is like theatre. There’s the stage and the scenes behind. The whole thing is like a performance that depends upon planning the minute details and taking everything in consideration.
I was trying to think about Pine’s army career and the needed know-how he has. He enjoys the anonymity a uniform gives you. The guilt and the shame he feels because Roper (played by Hugh Laurie) benefits from death and killing drives him to be an agent. As an ex-solider he understands the ramification of arms dealing. I haven’t been a solider although I’ve played one many times. Even in Kong … My character is an ex British Air Force captain who is traumatised because he was in the war in Vietnam.
I appreciate what they do. Although I am a pacifist and would rather go through all other available options before the army needs to step in I find it incomprehensibly brave that some people are ready to die for their country or their ideology.
There’s another character with an army background: Bond.
Listen, if they ask it will a massive day for me. Nowadays we spy on ourselves, we live under constant surveillance but you get the feeling the talks about our safety are being held behind closed doors and we’ll never find out about them. The secrets behind the curtains are fascinating because today there people who hide amongst us. Maybe that’s why spy stories have a made a comeback.
Do you still believe art can change the world or has the commercial side of it made you more cynical?
Art can inspire, challenge, make you sad and give you joy. I really believe that because it’s happened to me. I felt a great connection to Mike Leigh’s films when I was younger. I saw “Secrets & Lies” (1996) when I was about 16 and the humanity in the film touched me. When I saw “The Constant Gardener” the world felt bigger than I had imagined. Art can be an emotional key.
I made friends with a doctor from Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) He does brave things, travels around war zones and operates on children’s brains to remove bullets. He told me got the inspiration to become a a surgeon after seeing “The Killing Fields”. Art has the power to change the world by guiding us in the right direction.
You can also read the article online (in Finnish) HERE
Tom Hiddleston - Thor The Dark World - Greek Interview Ο Τ.Χίντλστον του THOR στο MEGA http://www.megatv.com/megagegonota/summary.asp?catid=27386&subid=2&pub...
Yes those words are Greek. Yep yep. I know we didn’t choose Tom on KISHA (shame on us by the way!) but yes I wnated to upload this before but didn’t find the chance to!
Yes finally THEY DID SOMETHING RIGHT!
They talked about Tom in a Greek channel, had even an interview with him! Dang finally! Also, he reads ancient Greek at some point and although I have to say he’s doing well at some points at others I struggle to understand him with that accent of his- but really does not make a difference cause trust me I barely understand my teacher when he reads ancient Greek at school!
But dang if I had Tom as my teacher oh I would be the best student!
You probably don’t understand much if you’re not Greek but still yeah, at some points Tom speaks and it is of course in English. Any other Greeks here by the way?
Now whats left for them to do is take an interview from the guys of Spn and my life will be complete!
