#toni rant

[phenomenalgirl9]

Just got my ear pierced and I feel like I'll ascend!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[phenomenalgirl9]

Ranting here

Naur like why do people i like gotta be in a relationship like

People I like: Either I can't get them, or I can't get them! No why me!!!

LOVE ME! CHOOSE ME! 😭

I wanna give them the world. I wanna hold their hand and look into their eyes and call them pretty. I wanna tell them how good they looked or their joke was lame even tho I laughed at it. I wanna be the person they throw themselves on while laughing that silly laugh. They love pens, they're called "pen thief" bro I wanna gift them pens and wont even get mad if they lost it. I want them to hold me while I feel lonely and feel like crying. I wanna pet cats together with them. I wanna watch movies together, watch them to get all excited at the special scenes. I want them to come over and play with my 2 cats. I just WANNA CRY!!!

WHY BRO! WHY ME!

[phenomenalgirl9]

_"Why him?"

_"Why anyone else when He exists?"

[phenomenalgirl9]

Istg I feel so empty

Like I got nothing, I have nothing, I am for nothing, and will have nothing.

Just nothing is getting me any joy. I don't understand what should I do, I dont even feel like talking, I just wanna Shut myself in a room for days and sleep.

I'm not even able to write. I don't wanna alert anyone so I'm postinghere. Idk what to do anymore, even existing seems to be too much right now. Waking up everyday feels like a burden and I feel like I'm being one to the others too.

[phenomenalgirl9]

Halloween is coming... Do I start the psycho x psycho..... I might make it member x member

[phenomenalgirl9]

No Why is it so difficult to get a Man or even a Woman!

Like Woman, single Not straight Woman dont seem to exist here,

And Men.... Lord I dont get a single Man eho has a complementary thought process.

The ones who do are short... Sorry I love my short kings but I don't get attracted to guys shorter than me.

The ones that are tall are just idk.... Either not interested or not interesting.

And the person that I like is just IDK what. We've exchanged numbers, but we don't talk, the conversation doesn't live and we don't see each other often so it doesn't work, idk when I'll see him. And UHHH it's so frustrating.

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Specially, living in my household is so difficult, having a narcissistic immature brown mom who has disregarded me for years. To a point where I am traumatized and I can't just do shit.

[phenomenalgirl9]

Pictures from my trip '23