#topic 21

[red-lights-of-doooooom]

Internet and your Parental Units: Am I Just a Prop?

Here is a picture of my Dad’s most recent Facebook re-post. Cute, wasn’t I? As I look and see how many likes the photo received and how many comments were made, I can’t help wondering...am I just a pawn in my father’s online construction of himself? If I’m an extension of him, is my baby face also? As all of these questions started to formulate in my brain I also came to one glaring conclusion. This picture was not posted with my consent either! 

With every tweet, post and blog that parents share about their children they are engaged in their own personal construction of reality. The above picture screams “perfect Dad and doting daughter”. I highly doubt he would have posted one of my many toddler tantrums or publicly embarrassing moments. My Dad was joining the millions of parents who participated in a new concept called “sharenting”. In fact, according to Leah Plunkett, author of “Sharenthood: Why We Should Think Before We Talk About Our Kids Online” (2019), sharenting is becoming a real problem. Parents are posting all kinds of images without their children’s consent and are not considering a) how annoying it might be to other people, b) how it is really all part of an online persona that they are building for themselves and their perceived reality, and c) that there could be long-term ramifications of sharing their children’s personal information. Oh, and I forgot to mention how many, many of these pictures are laced with a humble brag designed to make other parent’s feel inferior, or at least feel like their child is. 

So, why do they do it? They see their so-called “friend’s” posts and start comparing their own lives to theirs. Hey, Karyn went to Hawaii and posted a tonne of pictures of herself and her completely cohesive, agreeable, perfect family, and they feel as if they should be projecting similarly pleasing, socially-acceptable, and perhaps envy provoking posts as well. In essence we are all insecure.

This whole thing is a little weird if you ask me. I’m not a big social media user. However if I look at enough of my father’s posted, cutie-pie pictures of myself with positively reinforcing comments from people that my parents know in a “roundabout way”, will it turn me into one? Will I also long to see 100 likes and 50 smiley faces about my trip to the Eaton Centre or meal at Dairy Queen?

[just-me-just-tia]

BiTalks Topic #21: Bisexuality in Different Societies

How are bisexual folks treated/viewed in this region/country/culture?

I’m from England, London to be specific. And bisexuals are generally ignored. not as in shunned, but more in that our sexuality is a ‘phase’ or to lure in someone of the opposite sex.

That said, a majority of my interactions have been with people who know that bisexuality is real and, aside from the occasional threesome comment from a dudebro, myself and other bisexuals I know are treated with respect.

How much do non-bi people know about bisexuality?

Around half of my friends are monosexual, and have known me since before I was open about my sexuality, most seem to know and understand a fair amount about bisexuality, whether that is due to themselves or me and other bisexuals pointing things out, I couldn’t say.

Most non-bi people, who are friends/related to me, seem to know a little of bisexuality, but the majority of what I hear is often the stereotypical rhetoric of ‘bi=slut/scared to be gay/attention seeker’ 

From my experience, more non-bi folk are becoming more aware of what bisexuality mean and that is leading to bisexuals getting more basic respect.

What are the definitions of bisexuality used by bi people in this region?

A majority of people seem content to accept that bisexuality means attraction to 2 or more genders. Of course, there are always those who will say how bi means two. But in my experience, people will accept how you personally define.

Any experiences/stories that you’d like to share?

I actually have a funny story from when I first came out at school. I was 13 and went to an all girls school.

One day one of the other girls started asking about my girlfriend and how did I know and all of that. She finished by saying something about how she was amazed she’d already met a lesbian, and before I even had a chance to explain that I wasn’t, one of my form mates from the table over yelled ‘she’s BISEXUAL’ and everyone went completely silent, staring at this girl and she just shrugged and said ‘well she is.’ and when back to her work.

It has stuck with me because the girl and I weren’t particularly close, we were just in the same class, and I had probably only mentioned once that I was bisexual and that it meant that at times I may mention a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and I never specifically say this to her. But she obviously overheard, and since then I haven’t ever shied from explaining that I am Bisexual, because if a 13 year old can simply overhear a conversation and accept it then adults can too.