When they first met at a tavern late into the night, no words need be said. None other than a tap on the shoulder and the promise of a private room on the upper levels if one were willing. The sort that was always saved for a lover’s night out… or in this case, a one-night stand. Whatever flings fancied the tavern’s patronage so long as there was coin to spend and line their pockets in trade for nightly pleasures.
A night spent enveloped within one another and forgotten by next morn when they departed separate ways. Thus was how many of Garen’s flings came and went. A swift meeting and a just as swift departing once he’d had his fill. A man who only wanted for lust in his times of loneliness but bore no attachment afterwards.
So it would go… until he met this particular individual again. Not in another tavern, mind you, but on the battlefield.
Totsuka, the name he’d soon learn by heart, had tumbled into a foray against invading imperials. As it would happen, they were both called in as adventurers to cull an outbreak of their lot as their castrum was in the midst of destruction. They need only take care of the rabble who resisted or put up a fight on the outskirts. Totsuka had somehow found himself surrounded—taken on one too many an enemy or somehow taunted their like to his feeble person. Either way, he was in trouble and likely to lose his life from what blood loss he had already suffered.
“MOVE!”
It was Garen who would be the one to rescue the other man. Charging in headfirst with blade and shield at the ready. Battering into them and striking them down one after the other before motioning for Totsuka to follow. He was weak from the looks of it—and it was up to Garen to see him to safety for aid.
Garen had already well forgotten their first true meeting some many moons ago. But Totsuka remembered it all too vividly when he recognized his savior. Already having the pleasure to know them once, and now again in being saved by their person. He was falling for Garen on that principle alone…
And he hounded after him from hence on.
It started with wanting to thank Garen in some shape or form for saving him. While also asking that they team up as a group for awhile—to get to know him, learn how to fight better, work as a team… all the excuses in the book to convince Garen to let Totsuka stick around for a time.
It worked. But only because Garen had already picked up what Totsuka was putting down.
The man had fallen for him. Or at the very least, could tell he was desperately trying to get into his pants. Every little thing Garen had going on for him, Totsuka was instantly there ready to help. Urging him into little training sessions. Often making these cheeky little comments one might mistakenly leave unnoticed, until it turned to flirting… accidental touches… unwarranted physical contact.
It may as well as be writ upon Totsuka’s face without saying so.
At first, Garen was a bit apprehensive and uncertain if there might be some ulterior motive behind Totsuka’s actions. He knew a little bit about the guy from their joint missions, but nothing of his background, where he came from, his story, past lovers… they were but another adventurer, a dime a dozen.
…But who was Garen to deny those advances anyhow?
In fact, such obviousness in the man’s forwardness led him to play into it. He knew what Totsuka wanted and had him wrapped around his finger. Garen was just as teasing, if not more so. Purposefully giving Totsuka the time of day while he teased and flirted with the man relentlessly. Sometimes there was much more fun to gain for leading one on as long as he did. This was all play to him. After all, Totsuka was also here for the ride and nothing more as far as he was concerned.
Surprise, surprise, Totsuka propositioned Garen the moment they were alone in yet another tavern’s lodgings. Not yet in a relationship, mind, nor had Totsuka made his true feelings aware as of yet. Going with the flow just as much as Garen had this whole time… And Garen continued to treat their relationship like any other fling.
Nights and nights worth of continuous flings where they had their way with one another. Every encounter full of pleasure beneath the sheets and then some. Increasing Totsuka’s desire to make it official overtime until he could no longer see himself with any other person than Garen.
So when they had their fill on the next… Totsuka spilled all of his love and longing for Garen. How he felt so close to him and never wanted to let go. That these past moons together had been become and experience he never wished to end—to make official.
And as the love-filled words came to an end, Garen came in close. Cupping Totsuka’s chin and tilting it up close this face as if their lips were about to meet… Only for the look on Garen’s face to twist with disappointment before letting go. Pushing Totsuka away and breaking the blissful façade that had been kept up this entire time.
“You’re not warm… nor do you know me. You think I don’t know what you’re truly after? What reason I’ve entertained this for so long?”
The ride was over.
Not once had Garen felt the same through this game of theirs. They were using each other for one need and one need alone—to ask for more was not the agreement neither spoke for.
Totsuka had fallen in love with an image he’d made up in his own mind. And Garen would be the one to shatter that reality, leaving Totsuka heartbroken and the one to pick up the pieces.
…
However, this did not deter Totsuka. If anything, it helped him realize there was a lot more he needed to do. A lot more he needed to say instead of working off assumption.
After Garen’s initial denial, Totsuka continued to show up. Continued to support in Garen’s endeavors and actually tried to learn more about him. His desires. His wishes. His aspirations. About his other relationships he never realized Garen had going for him, because he was a much more private person than he let on to be. About the family he left behind in the Southern Seas and all that he did for them what he could from afar.
Totsuka developed a true adoration and longing for this man. It took time getting Garen to open up of course, but things proceeded at a much more… natural pace. One that didn’t involve divulging into sex on the regular (Okay, but maybe just a little bit—) and more so on the side of leaning on each other’s shoulder. Learning to have each other’s backs and finding actual care in one another.
That bond was put to the test many times over before Garen finally accepted Totsuka proper into his life. Especially so when Totsuka stayed at his side during the rough years with Garen’s family as they grieved the loss of his mother… and were entrusted with raising his younger siblings until there was no need.
Only then that it needn’t be said how they felt for one another. For now they already knew and accepted each other as they were in full.
#project hail mary
#lana del rey
#photography
