“this is my first time ever doing an ask thingy so hear with me if this is awfully written or such jwhsjws
this may sound like a weird question and maybe this fall more in "we need to talk about these people" more than an actual question in itself but i need to understand just how usual it is for queer activist who are trans / n-b to also be transphobic / n-b phobic?
for bit of context though, i used to be friends / mutuals on twt with people who were all trans / n-b (though there were also others who weren't and had the same attitude) to some extent and noticed that a lot of their opinion on our issues were... highly transphobic. by that i mean they'd say they "hate" afab n-b who still call themselves women or that have links to womanhood or dress fem because "what could they even be dysphoric about" and just saying a lot of "fuck non binary people" and one of them which striked me hard said he was glad he realized he was trans binary and not non binary because "ew" which 💀 yeah i don't even have the words for that.
i remember seeing so many "takes" of theirs with lots of underlying transphobia (and ig in a way misogyny due to the fact it's always targeted to anyone afab?) and all linked to their hate towards non binary afab (most of these people also are afab which is even more worrying imo)
and the worst is that these are opinions shared by a lot of other people with a pretty "big" voice and following in the lgbt activism online (this was on the french side of it but i have seen so many people with these type of opinions and harmful rhetoric across the community)
i'm just wondering if anyone has had this experience and how the hell did we come from sharing our experiences and fighting for our rights and identity to be recognized,,,, to hating on and blaming people literally just living their life and being comfortable with themselves for being "the reason" we're not taken seriously.“ -Anonymous user
I think that a lot of, if not most, trans and non-binary have some level of internalized transphobia and enbyphobia/exorsexism just from living in a transphobic/enbyphobic/exorsexist society.
The specific hatred of non-binary people who were AFAB is something that I’ve been seeing a lot recently which I have found very concerning. The specific hatred of non-binary people who were AFAB and still have some connection to womanhood and/or femininity seems to have it’s roots in transmedicalism, it sounds basically identical to the way people would describe “transtrenders” when that was the big concern.
Something that I’ve also seen a lot of is accusations the non-binary people who were AFAB weaponize their femininity the same way cis women do. I find this very worrying because it typically ends up lumping non-binary people who were AFAB along with cis women and treating those two groups as the same. I imagine this is something that does happen at times, but it’s not something that I’ve ever seen personally. I also find it concerning that people are reducing it to a problem with AGAB, when in my experience it’s really not. The weaponization of femininity isn’t something that I only see coming from people who were AFAB, it’s something I see coming specifically from white people who are perceived as women or feminine. My experience might be affected by being from the USA, where we have a history with white womanhood being used as a weapon, so people from other cultures may see it very differently. But when people reduce it to just an “AFAB thing” it feels like an attempt to take a real issue and twisting it to attack non-binary people who don’t sufficiently perform hatred of their AGAB.
Unfortunately it feels like this is just the newest target of exclusionists and infighting. When I first joined tumblr it was asexuals who were the target, for awhile it was non-binary people as a whole... It seems like there’s always some group getting targeted in many online queer spaces. It’s really depressing to see, especially when it starts to feel like a neverending cycle. If it’s any consolation I don’t see it very often in offline queer spaces (although I have had to stay away from most of those spaces for a couple years due to health issues) In online spaces I think that there are a lot of people who find some comfort in hurting other vulnerable people, it makes them feel like they have some sort of power and control. It’s really horrible, but when I’ve been part of a targeted group I have found some comfort in trying to keep in mind that these are just people who are looking for any acceptable target. It’s really not about you, or any non-binary person who was AFAB, it’s just about finding someone socially acceptable to hurt. And you will be able to find people and groups that aren’t like that, usually the bullies are just the loudest.
I’m not sure I really made any sense here to be honest, and I’d welcome anyone with a different perspective to add on here.
