#trainreread

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Okay, but when Brom was telling his epic Rider story at the beginning of Eragon, he was like, “Morzan, strong of body but weak of mind,” or whatever.

So, either he just told the whole village that Morzan was a dumb jock out of spite OR that’s literally part of the epic story. And I don’t know which one is funnier.

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Video game narrator: And Eragon has a vision of Arya, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

The vision:

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The first line of dialogue is Galbatorix saying “I suffer without my stone.”

I died.

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Yeah, that's Galbatorix favorite map. He stands in front of it for days at a time in case Durza shows up.

He keeps it in a room called The Giant Map and Threatening Durza Room.

It's the special place where he suffers while he waits for his stone.

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“The sky is hollow and the world is round,” is such a great sentence for no reason.

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Other gems from my Mom reacting to the Eragon movie include:

Brom: *dies*

Mom: strangled scream

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Mom (about Durza): Why do his lips keep getting worse?

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(At the final battle)

Mom: That was a stupid line.

*seconds later*

Mom: That was another stupid line.

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And, the crown jewel-

Mom: Is this what inspired Lord of the Rings?

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So glad that the medieval monks had the foresight to illustrate Eragon's epic battle with the snail.