meme edit of a meme edit, keep in mind this is also true for the lesbian and sapphic robots otherwise I would have just written achillean instead of homoerotic :3
Starscream coronation coins [most of the few created were destroyed in panic after Galvatron took over]
Mixmaster’s Syk-enhanced circuit-booster modules
A giant t-shirt that says “I made out with Rampage and Survived and all I got was this lousy t-shirt”. Practically unwearable by most due to most Decepticons altmode kibble (but its not something you probably want to wear in public anyway)
seems the energon universe is still working out numbers of years the timeline is, so, joke: this time, Arcee is 14 million years old! and so is Ratchet!! and they were contemporaries of Zerta Trion!!! /j think its fairly clear that this wouldnt be the case unless Magnus Is AS OLD AS KUP
this was followed by someone jokingly suggesting "arcee predates cybertron, somehow" and we had the same brain that in this joke scenario Chronarchitect and Primus were in on it, so she's the secret backup plan for the Covenant and Primus Vanguard (truly don't expect 3h or Gen Selects to show up in the Energon Universe and not any time soon but who knows the third confirmed transformer gal of the series is a really old venerable lady key to the plot of Void Rivals and has been in it since issue 1 so)
what we actually think re ages so far: really f'ing old: Alpha & Zerta Trion
old AF: Kup
damn old: Ultra Magnus
unclear but not young: Arcee, Ratchet, Cliffjumper, Jazz, Optimus, Elita One, Jetfire, Decepticons generally
???: Hot Rod, Springer, Golobulus
youngest autobots: Carly & Spike
those of you new to transformers who don't get the Arcee and Ratchet joke:
in IDW1 Arcee is 12 million years old, making her older than most of the cast, around not long after the end of peaceful free utopian transformer society due to the God War that almost everyone lost memory of. She grew up as a gladiator (not by choice) alongside her twin brother Galvatron in Protohex, during the squabbling authoritarian primacies that fought each other until the alliance of the Thirteen formed from multiple factions, Megatronus's army having freed her and her brother and the two having joined that military and stayed on as warriors of the Thirteen until Arcee couldn't bear the colonial conquests anymore (her brother was not of the same opinion).
Ratchet in the Aligned hardcover text variation of Alpha Trions The Covenant of Primus is presented as a bot who, iirc, was scrawling out geometry on the ground and lived in a cave at the dawn of time in a period of relative equality, back before the Quintessons colonized Cybertron and introduced the carceral state, police forces, and a bioessentialist hierarchy of alt modes
In these cases, Arcee and Ratchet respectively are much, much older than Optimus Prime
