Friends on Discord took this quiz:
THIS was my result ???
so ...
Link to the UQuiz
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Friends on Discord took this quiz:
THIS was my result ???
so ...
Link to the UQuiz
Based on Transformers Prime. Find out which Decepticon Megatron would deem to be your caretaker, after having kidnapped you in a plan to use you as ransom against the Autobots. (Includes the following Decepticons as answers: Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, Knockout, Breakdown, and Dreadw
When I first saw that I got Dreadwing, I was like “what the fuck?” -- but after reading to the end of the description I was in tears and kept going aww. Read his result under the cut.
Dreadwing
Dreadwing would be good at taking care of you all around. He doesn't particularly find humans to be disgusting/revolting like some Decepticons do - quite the opposite, actually. Aside from the fact that your species is rather insignificant and some are opposing the Decepticon cause, he finds that humans are interesting, culturally. He takes particular interest in different views of spirituality, especially those originating from Asia. Right from the beginning, he'll ask you questions about different cultures and traditions that intrigue him, and if you don't know that much about it then he'll simply hum (perhaps in minute disappointment) before nodding and going about his business. Eventually, he'll begin to ask you about your life before you were captured, how you met the Autobots, and not due to an ulterior motive - he's just genuinely curious.
Dreadwing's rather calm and complacent, and he won't get agitated or annoyed with you even if you try to escape. He's not worried about that bc he's already 'human/escape-proofed' his quarters, so there is no way you're getting out without outside assistance (which you won't be getting anytime soon). He's always two steps ahead and is consistent with when he feeds you. Honestly, he's probably the best to handle a human due to these reasons. He doesn't antagonize you or mock you when you get upset about your situation - he understands that war involves those less fortunate, but he won't make too much of an effort to comfort you because of his ties to Megatron, whom he knew would not approve. He's just a real straight-forward and honourable guy - his moral compass and integrity are strong, despite his chosen side. He sees no benefit in disheartening or being cruel to you just because you're involved with the Autobots.
If you show interest in Cybertronian culture or mention something along the lines of it, Dreadwing would be more than happy to share his knowledge with you (so long as it doesn't involve Decepticon secrets, of course). He's very well-versed in their planets' various cultures, and it saddened him greatly to see his planet fall. He'll share old legends and stories with you, or tell you about the many places he visited before the war. He describes Cybertron so eloquently, it paints a perfect and beautiful picture of it in your mind whenever he talks about it. (You lament greatly that he never becomes an Autobot - you think he and Optimus would have enjoyed reminiscing about their old home together.)
Through sharing his passion with you and seeing how eagerly you listen and wish to learn, he would realize that humans aren't at all as irrational or inferior as the other Decepticons make you out to be - you have just as much a capacity for learning and knowledge as Cybertronians do, and Dreadwing finds himself greatly impressed by that fact. And as time would go by, he would also come to the realization that even with the potential benefits of using you as a bargaining chip against the Autobots, it would be wrong and against his views. You're bright and don't deserve any waywardly fate that Megatron could wring upon you. And so, for this reason, he would secretly contact the Autobots and return you to Earth with the rest of the Decepticons being none the wiser to his true motivations - not wanting to see you're hurt. It's not until after you're gone that he becomes aware of the feelings he'd developed for you.
Based on Transformers Prime. Find out which Autobot Optimus Prime would deem to be your guardian. (Includes the following Autobots as answers: Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Smokescreen, Wheeljack, Cliffjumper, and Arcee.)
Since some people seemed excited about my post regarding, “Which Decepticon Would Be Best Suited For You”...
I decided to take the Autobot version, too.
And I got *drum roll*
WTF! First Dreadwing and now Cliffjumper?
I just realized something -- both end up dead...
Anyways, feel free to reply/reblog what Autobot you got and your reactions to the scenario. No honestly please do it, your reactions are funny as hell.
PS. I did not make this or the decepticon quiz
All Nine Autobot Results for “Which Autobot Would be Best Suited as Your Guardian?” Quiz.
@minerfromtarn expressed the desire to read all the Autobot results for the “Which Autobot Would be Best Suited as Your Guardian?” quiz that has been circling around.
Going through all the posts and taking the quiz a dozen or so times, I compiled a list of the nine Autobot results – Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Arcee, Bulkhead, Cliffjumper, Smokescreen, Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus.
PLEASE BE AWARE THAT I DID NOT CREATE THIS QUIZ – AND AS SUCH, DID NOT WRITE THESE RESULTS!
Both the quiz and results are credited to Vulcanlover12 on Quotev.
(all results under the cut)
Smokescreen
It looks like you got the youngest of Team Prime as your guardian! Smokescreen would most definitely volunteer for the position, as he always has so much fun hanging around Jack and Miko and Raf. Optimus would be hesitant to give him such a weighty responsibility, but upon Smokescreen’s enthusiastic insistence, he would leave the decision up to you. And, honestly, who could refuse this precious sunshine boy? He’s probably going to be the easiest friend you’ve ever made, he just adores everything about you! He’ll always be doing his best to make sure you’re happy and content, no matter what! I hope you like lots of laughter and fun and affection, because you will never be in short supply whenever Smokescreen’s around.
Here’s some tidbits based on some of the questions:
Smokescreen is so excited to finally be a guardian, he wants to get to know as much about you as much as he can, as quickly as he can. You might have to tell him to slow down a little, and he will willingly back off to give you some space if you need it. Please be patient with him, he’s excited to have a new friend. He’ll be asking you questions constantly within the first week of getting to know each other - he’s soon going to know all your favorite things and will be able to list them alphabetically, no problem. Question games like 20 Questions and Would You Rather are among his favorite ways to get to know someone, so be prepared to ask some of your own. He’ll love sharing his past with you, telling you about becoming an Elite Guardsman and working with Alpha Trion at Iacon. Don’t be surprised if he brags a little - he’s just trying to impress you. You do have the best guardian in Team Prime, after all!
I hope you like sleepovers, because sleepovers are definitely inbound when you become Smokescreen’s charge. He and Miko always team up together to make the absolute best nights of your lives, every one seeming to become more fun than the last. Smokescreen would totally let all of you sleep on his chassis, but Optimus would advise against it for fear of one of you rolling off in your sleep and hurting yourselves. Brace yourself, though - you’re going to be staying up a while, and with how much of an early bird Smokescreen is, he’s going to be the first one up and will already be chomping at the bit to get the new day started. If you yourself are an early bird, you’ll have to remind him to let the others rest. He’ll protest a little, but if you do something with him like watch TV while you eat breakfast, he’ll be okay. So long as he’s occupied, the others will be none the wiser. He’d really like it if you went up to the top of the base with him to watch the sunrise. He’d practically beg you to sit on his shoulder, so you could ‘have a better view’. (It’s okay, Smokescreen, we know she’s cute, don’t worry. You just keep working your Destiny’s Child™ magic.)
Smokescreen would really enjoy watching you do your makeup, seeing what colors you picked out and how you would blend them. He’d like playing with your hair, too, and he’d be very careful if you let him brush it. He’d like running his digits through it, feeling how soft it is, but let’s just pray he snags or tangles them up in your hair only once or twice - it will happen occasionally, and he’ll feel bad every time. He’d love it no matter what style you have, too - whether it’s short or long or in between, it’s yours and he loves the color! (It’s a shock to him to find out that you can cut it, though - “Wait, you mean that stuff actually grows? And it doesn’t hurt to cut it?” You’ll have to explain you don’t have any actual feeling in the hair itself, just where it’s attached to your scalp. He’ll laugh, quite fascinated. “That’s weird, man - humans are so weird!”)
The number one way to get Smokescreen pumped for something is to start playing music - pick out a song on your phone and he’ll immediately start dancing, sometimes pulling you in to join him. Even if you aren’t a good dancer, he’ll show you some moves, don’t worry about it! It is literally impossible to make yourself look bad in front of this sunshine boy - he adores you too much to think of you as anything less than amazing. He’ll definitely let you sync up your phone with his radio, and if you go on patrol with him, it’s guaranteed that he’s going to have your tunes blasting over his audio system. He’ll try his best to sing along, even if he doesn’t know all the words - but damn, does this boy have a singing voice! He could’ve gone to Broadway, you know, had he not been born a twenty-foot alien robot. He doesn’t have a particular favorite genre, as he’s listening to something new and different all the time, and he’ll comment on things that he likes about every new song. (You’ll start playing songs by Destiny’s Child as a joke, and when he asks you who they’re by you’ll just say, “You,” with a really big grin. He doesn’t get it until he has Raf look it up on his laptop.)
Smokescreen loves flowers, and in that, he’d probably end up liking springtime the best. He would totally bring you flowers, even if he isn’t your significant other - he tends to like the little wildflowers that grow on the side of the road, and he’ll stop at an empty section of wherever he’s patrolling and pick you some. He’ll be careful not to squish them mid-transformation, and he’ll present them to you upon his return to base with the happiest, beaming smile you’ve ever seen. He’d love it if you made them into a flower crown and wore it like a princess, and if he picked enough that you could make him one, too, he would very nearly squeal in delight. He’d beg Miko to take a picture of you together, you perched on his shoulder and leaning against his helm. (“Look! We match!”) He’d ask Miko and Raf to make him a copy so he could keep it in his subspace. In those very rare, very far-in-between moments whenever he’s feeling down or discouraged with himself, he’ll pull it out and look at it until he feels better. It works every time, and he eventually considers it to be a good luck charm.
Sometimes, Smokescreen will confide in you, especially if you’re a natural listener. He’ll tell you about his hopes for the future, about how he wants to make Optimus Prime proud and prove his worth to the team. He’ll tell you about Alpha Trion, and admit how much he misses Cybertron. He’ll share his doubts, too, if he’s not feeling very good about himself - how he wonders about his value to Team Prime, or if he’s ever going to do something right and like the other Autobots want him to. You have to remind him that he’s still learning, and that nobody does anything perfectly - not even Optimus Prime or Ultra Magnus. They make mistakes, just like he does - and, sometimes, things just happen that nobody can control or change. Learning is a part of life, and Smokescreen just hasn’t had as much time to experience as many things as the other Autobots have. His optics will light up and he’ll pull you up into a loving but gentle hug, his door wings fluttering, his spark swelling up in its chamber and his cooling fans kicking on as he murmurs his immense gratitude to you. He always comes away feeling ten times better than he was before, and it’s moments like those that he’ll thank Primus and whatever other deities that were out there that they gave someone like you to someone like him. He thinks he doesn’t really deserve you, so make sure you reassure him of how important he is to you, too. But Smokescreen confiding in you means that he will definitely be open to listening to you vent whenever you need it! He’s probably only second to Ratchet in regards to being a good person to vent to. He’ll let you get all that you want to say out before speaking himself, and he’ll make sure he understands everything about what’s going on before he gives you any advice on what to do. He’ll comfort you if you need it, and he’ll cuddle with you without argument, even if you don’t ask for it. He hates to see you upset or having a hard time, and he’ll promise to fight whoever is giving you trouble. He won’t even use his energon cannons, either! He promises!
You’d better get ready to teach a completely clueless alien about human culture, because Smokescreen is greener than any of the other Autobots, as they’ve already resided on Earth for quite a while and have had time to adapt. He adjusts to it better than Ultra Magnus, though, because of how young his mentality is. He’s very open to everything you tell him, and he expresses an immense interest in anything that pertains to you or the other humans directly. He’d love comic books, especially science fiction, and if you were to buy him any he’d be thoroughly enamored. But with pop culture also comes road etiquette - Jack may have taught him Driver’s Ed 101, but Smokescreen still doesn’t know all the manners that comes with sharing the road with other humans. You wouldn’t want him getting yelled at or potentially pulled over only for the cop to realize this car doesn’t have a driver. (As funny as you both think that’d be, you still insist that Smokescreen let you sit in the driver’s seat, even if he’s still driving, just to keep up appearance’s sake. He’d let you, anyway, though - he loves having your company while driving.)
Despite how it may seem, given his somewhat reckless and irresponsible personality, Smokescreen’s quarters are, in actuality, very tidy and well-kept. He knows where everything is, and though he may not have much in his possession, he’ll share any old holopads Alpha Trion had given him that contain stories with you. You suggest that he let Optimus look at them, too - and, as it would turn out, most of Smokescreen’s favorite stories are Optimus’ as well, and they start trading books to read. If Optimus lends him an actual human-sized book (which most of them probably are, at this point), Smokescreen will have you read it to him. He says he likes when you do different voices for the characters. He’ll read his to you, too, if you ask him. His voice is very soothing to listen to, when he’s calm and focused - you’ll quickly lose yourself to this other world that he constructs within your mind with his words. You’ve fallen asleep leaning against him multiple times due to this, and he’ll always smile softly before laying back and letting you rest on his chassis, soon joining you in recharge while listening to your breathing. He’ll wake you up the next morning by stroking your back gently with his digits and humming an ancient song from Cybertron.
Smokescreen would be so protective of you, but it’s not really the aggressive type of protectiveness - it’s more like a passive type, in all honesty. (“He’s the one that insulted you?” You nod. “I’m going to punch him.” “Smokescreen, no.” “Smokescreen, yes.”) He, by no means, would ever actually consider harming a human, and would talk circles around beating up your adversaries at school just to make you flustered by his attention and distract you from any hurt feelings that you might’ve obtained. He’d comfort you when needed, and reassure you that no other human would ever live up to you or your importance to him. He makes it his goal to have you giggling and smiling before he’s through with you. The only time he would actually get aggressive is if you were physically hurt. He would fuss over you, take you to Ratchet to make sure you’re okay and all that, of course - he’d ask about what happened surprisingly calmly (worryingly calmly), before his optics would dim with sadness and he’d pull you up against his helm so he could nuzzle you and comfort you. But, after you were either returned home or asleep in his berthroom, he would go cruising around town to see if he could find your aggressor. If they were to be out, he would then proceed to scare the living daylights out of them by chasing them and threatening to run them over. He wouldn’t actually hurt them, oh no, but he would give them a very strong warning against raising a hand to you in the future. You would definitely scold him if you were to find out about it, but he wouldn’t feel very bad about it unless you gave him very strong reasoning for it. Anyone who would hurt his human should pay for it in kind.
Smokescreen would so give everyone nicknames, and you can’t tell me otherwise - except maybe Optimus and Ultra Magnus, because he respects (at least one of) them. They might not be anything extravagant, mainly derivatives of the others’ names (“'Cee” for Arcee, “'Bee” for Bumblebee, “Bulk” for Bulkhead - stuff like that), and the same would most likely apply to you. He might call you 'human’ though, or maybe 'squishy’ if you’re alone and he’s wanting to tease you. 'Half-pint’ and 'Shortcake’ might show up occasionally, especially if you’re on the shorter end of the height scale. If you tend to have a feisty personality, he might call you 'Firecracker’ or 'Firespark’. But, if you were to become his significant other, pet names will certainly make frequent appearances. 'Babe’ will be among the most common, as well as 'angel’. Smokescreen would absolutely adore any pet/nickname you could give him. 'Smokey’ would definitely make him flustered, as well as 'Sunshine’. (Also, I recommend that you call him 'my prince’. He would absolutely shut down before arming you up and covering you in smooches.)
Smokescreen would go all out for your birthday and Christmas, practically begging Fowler to deliver whatever he’s gotten Raf to order online. He’s try his absolute hardest to wrap the parcel(s), but he’d probably end up having to ask June to do it for him. She’d let him pick out which color wrapping paper and ribbon he’d want, to compensate so he wouldn’t feel bad. He’d most likely pick red, white and blue or blue and yellow, depending at what paint job he’s got. He’d present it to you with a beaming grin and fluttering door wings, insisting that you open in immediately. It’ll most likely be something you’ve mentioned you wanted before, or maybe a pretty decorative piece/painting. He’d also be totally down for getting you a cute coffee mug. (If you get him something in return, he would melt into a puddle of molten meddle and rattling cooling fans.)
Cliffjumper
It looks like you got Cliffjumper as your guardian! You probably encountered the Autobots a lot earlier than Jack, Raf, and Miko did, so you’ve known the Autobots far longer and are more familiar with them. The newer three humans would be thankful for your presence and experience in Cybertronian matters, and you inadvertently become a cultural mediator between them and the millennia-old ‘Bots. Cliffjumper would have thrown himself hole-heartedly into the idea of being your guardian, and he would have adored the very ground you walked on. His loss, not only striking the team a hard blow, proved the hard truth of their war to you. However, it would most likely cement your loyalty to the Autobots’ cause and make you strive to support them in every way that you could. Cliffjumper wouldn’t want you to grieve, and though it was hard loosing him, you remind yourself that he cared deeply for you and that he would want you to keep living your life.
But, enough of the sads. Let’s get on to some fun tidbits based on some of the questions!
Cliffjumper would so be for going outside at all times of the day to just sit and enjoy the weather - rain, sun, or snow, he’s going to practically beg you to go outside with him all the time. He loves to take the longer patrol routes for this reason, so make sure to kick back and make yourself comfortable in his cab if you do decide to go with him. At least he’s good at entertaining - you’ll never be bored, with all the tales he’ll be spinning to make you laugh. He loves Earth wholeheartedly, to be completely honest. He’s glad that he got to come here, and he enjoys all the cultural and geographical features that our home planet holds that differ so greatly from Cybertron’s. He’s all about exploring and scouting new areas, and sometimes he’ll sneak you off to some place he found that he’d thought you would like. (This has caused Agent Fowler many causes for ire, at times.)
If there’s one thing that’s obvious, it’s that Cliffjumper just loves having fun. It literally doesn’t matter what the activity could be: he loves rocking out to music, dancing like no one’s watching, hooting over a sport on TV, watching movies - anything. He’s among the most energetic of the Autobots, only second to Smokescreen, and he’s got to burn off some of that steam somehow! And he would totally adore it if you joined him in anything that he’s doing - it’s the number one way to get him smiling and excited. He would so be down for sweeping you up in his servos and dancing to whatever tune he’s got blaring over his radio system - he might even use mass displacement occasionally so he can actually dance with you. (Be cautious, he has a tendency to accidentally step on his partners’ toes.)
Cliffjumper listens only to country/western. No exceptions. His selection expands from the early days to the most recent single, and I sincerely hope that you enjoy listening to it, because that’s all he’s ever going to play. He’ll let you play your music, too, don’t get him wrong - but he just loves this genre to bits and pieces and no one knows why. (Arcee has admitted to you that she’s heard him belting out Brad Paisley while taking a decon-shower before. Cliffjumper has got quite the voice, that is for certain.)
Cliffjumper would totally be down to have a car wash in the summer time - he enjoys basking in the sun, and he loves his paintjob to be spotless, so why not combine both of those things into one? He’ll wait patiently for you to scrub all the dirt and dust away from his plating, should you be willing to do so, and he’ll even let you use a pressure washer to get in all the nooks and crannies for that hard-to-reach grime. Be careful, though, he might start a water fight. Also, he’d be one to shake off the water like a dog, so don’t wear a very important outfit if you decide to do this. (Once, it turned into a team-wide deal - you actually spent the entirety of one blistering summer day scrubbing the whole of Team Prime down to shiny paint and glistening metal. Everyone was notably peppier after that, even Ratchet - being clean was just as good a feeling to Cybertronians as it was to humans, you supposed.)
Cliffjumper, as we all know, is a very easy-going and generally happy 'Bot - not many things rub him the wrong way, just because he doesn’t let them. But there are a few things that will, very rarely, rear his defensive side. If someone in town is harassing you, or if you’ve been hurt, then Cliffjumper’s not going to be one happy camper. He wouldn’t try to get revenge by resorting to violence or anything, besides maybe purposefully spinning his wheels to kick up dirt in their lawn or on their car - rather, he would turn his attention to you and make sure you’re feeling all right. He’d do his best to cheer you up, potentially making a fool of himself in the process, but so long as he can make you smile, it’s all worth it to him in the end. He’ll baby you, too, if you’re hurt - he’s very much like Ratchet in regards to the mother-henning department, and sometimes it will get to be a little smothering - but he cares so much about you, it physically pains him to see you hurt in any way. (Expect lots kisses to make all of your boo-boos feel better, no question.)
This big red 'Bot is probably the best person you could wish for if you’re one prone to depression, or even when you just get upset. He’s just so understanding and patient and loving, he’ll do anything and everything to help make you feel better. He’ll literally drop anything that he’s doing if he even thinks something is wrong or out of the ordinary. And trust me, he’ll be able to tell - this 'Bot can read people as easily as Optimus reads books. He’ll scoop you up gently in his servos and take you someplace else in the base (it could range from an empty store room to his berthroom, and it’ll depend upon your emotional state at the time - whichever is closest), settling down against a wall and asking what’s wrong. It’d be best if you were outright and just told him, so he’ll know what he’s dealing with. He’ll talk you through everything you’re feeling, making sure not to leave a single stone unturned in his reassurances. He’ll tell you that it’s completely normal not to feel too hot, and that everyone has their down days. He’ll promise you that he’ll stay with you until you feel better, no matter what. (He has refused to go on patrol during instances such as this, and after he’s explained his reasoning to Optimus, the Prime will allow him this. Cliffjumper’s sense of responsibility and care for you is admirable, and who is Optimus to refuse you your way of emotional healing?) Typically, days like this wind up with him taking you to town so you can get a big tub of ice cream (or whatever your comfort food may be) and a movie so you can curl up on his chassis and watch together. Let this mech take care of you, he just loves you so much.
If you’re a shy person, then you’ve got nothing to fear with Cliffjumper as your partner. He’ll handle all the talking, and won’t force you into any situations that might make you uncomfortable. He won’t make you speak if you don’t want to, and he’ll let you have your space as you need it. Though, you’ll probably start to notice that you won’t be as shy anymore after you’ve spent a good deal of time around him.
Cliffjumper’s an early bird, I’m just warning you now. He’s up as soon as the sun’s up, if not before, and he’ll be rearing to go even if you’re still half-asleep and dressed in your pajamas. He’s got the extra pep to put in his step, and you’ll be prone to wonder if Cybertronians could drink coffee after all.
Please, please, please: if you have any affection for this mech, please call him 'Cliff(ord) the Big Red Mech’. Once he learns the reference, he will love the nickname to absolute bits and pieces and will practically beg you to call him it at every given opportunity. He’ll also give you a nickname in return, something probably denoting to your appearance and just as equally affectionate. He adores any and all petnames, as well, so expect those to be peppered in your conversations, even if you’re not in a relationship.
If you get along with Arcee, Cliffjumper’s going to be all over you. He cares for the femme dearly, and while she may be prickly at times, she has potential to be more than what she is. Cliffjumper sees that, and wants the rest of the team to see it, too. It’ll probably take her a while to warm up to you, especially you being the object of Cliffjumper’s affections, but just give her time - she’ll become just about as fond of you as Cliffjumper is.
Cliffjumper’s the type to literally pick up anything random to gift you, even if it’s just a rock. If it reminds him of you, or if his first thought goes to you when he sees it, he’s bringing it back to you. Flowers are a common trend, and he’ll teach himself how to make flower crowns (courtesy of the internet, thanks, internet) just so you can wear them. He’ll be sad to see them wilt, but he’ll seek out newer, brighter ones as soon as he can. Also, don’t try to refuse legitimate gifts from him when your birthday (or Christmas) rolls around, he’s going to do it anyway. He loves to spoil you, so don’t even bother trying. This mech just adores you, let him Live™.
Bulkhead
Looks like you got the resident gentle giant of Team Prime as your guardian. Bulkhead wouldn’t volunteer for it, as he already has his hands quite full with Miko, but he would be open and welcoming when Optimus appoints him to you. He would just take in stride like he did with Miko, being careful at first when he’s getting to know you. You would figure out pretty quickly that he’s a Tired Dad™, and you would do your best to try and relieve him of Miko every so often so he can rest. And he may be a Tired Dad™, but he’s also a Proud Dad™, and he’ll quickly adore you just as much as he does Miko. Miko would be all over the idea of having a Wrecker-sibling, too, so no need to worry about sharing. She might get a little jealous every so often, though, if Bulkhead’s giving you some attention, but it’s not malicious. You and Bulkhead will just pull her into whatever you’re doing and she’ll be fine.
Here’s some tidbits based on some of the questions:
Bulkhead would be all over the idea of having another person to take dune-bashing - he’s grown fond of it, doing it with Miko, so he’ll be ecstatic to share one of their favorite pastimes with you. He usually ends up having to go to a carwash afterwards, so he can get the sand out of the seams in his plating. I hope you like heavy metal, too, because that’s what they’re going to be blasting the entire time - windows rolled down and volume loud enough that Megatron could probably hear it from the Nemisis. They’ll let you play whatever you like, too, occasionally, but Slash Monkey is required for dune-bashing. I feel like Bulkhead would like country/western, too, much to Miko’s chagrin - but if that’s what you start playing, then he’ll be relieved to have that similarity with someone else.
Bulkhead really wouldn’t enjoy being exposed to Earth’s elements, so he’d probably avoid rain or snow when he could. If you wanted him to sit with you while you watched it fall, though, he’d probably oblige you because he likes spending time with you. If it’s snow, maybe while patrolling somewhere up north, you and Miko are guaranteed to wrangle him into a snowball fight. He can’t say no to his kids, especially if you both pull puppy-dog eyes on him. (He’s a softy, don’t make fun.)
If you’re curious and ask him about it, Bulkhead will tell you stories about old battles on Cybertron, or stories about being with the Wreckers. He’ll be very open to the idea of sharing his past, and if Wheeljack is there, then you’re going to have two of the best storytellers this side of the Milky Way getting you to laugh or lean forward in anticipation while they recount old tales. Every time this happens, they wind up with the collective audience of Team Prime sitting around them and listening intently. (You’ll even catch Ratchet glancing over occasionally, but don’t tell anyone. He wouldn’t appreciate you ratting him out.)
Bulkhead, out of everyone on Team Prime, is probably, by far, the most protective of them all. If a Decepticon were to even glance your way, they’d be receiving a rearrangement of their faceplate, courtesy of his fists. It will absolutely tear him up inside if you get hurt, even if it’s just a paper cut, and he’ll get Ratchet to look at it no matter what. If you get into a fight at school, he’ll have half the mind to personally ‘interrogate’ whatever kid raised a word or hand against his charge. He’ll always make sure you’re okay, first, though - your wellbeing is his first priority. He’ll tell you to avoid altercations whenever possible and contact an adult to handle it instead. If you were protecting someone else, the pride this mech will feel will threaten to burst his very spark chamber, but he’ll still tell you to be careful. He has to be a reasonable, responsible adult, after all.
Long nights of movie marathons are inbound when you hang out with Bulkhead and Miko. She likes horror movies, but you and Bulkhead have to talk her down from them because sometimes they remind him too much of darker times in the war. He would much rather the genre to lean towards fantasy or science fiction, which both appease Miko. If you’re a nerd for them, too, then all three of you are going to end up geeking out over whatever you end up picking. Sometimes the other members of Team Prime will join you, too, and you usually end up accumulating quite a crowd around the comparatively tiny screen Fowler had provided for the kids a while back. You imagine the image would be kind of funny, having these big metal robots all crowded around four tiny humans while watching a movie.
Bulkhead’s not a naturally organized mech, bless his heart, and neither is Miko - so you’d end up having to help them keep track of all her stuff around the base. Keeping these two from doing something too dangerous or helping Bulkhead keep Miko in line quickly becomes your responsibility. You basically become the Mom Friend™ to match Bulkhead’s status of Tired Dad™. The other Autobots find it funny, for some reason, when you and Bulkhead will simultaneously tell Miko 'no’ when she asks to do something questionable. What? You’re being responsible, like you’re supposed to be. Why are you laughing, guys?
As a big mech - frankly the biggest of them all, if you don’t take Optimus’ height into account - Bulkhead has to exercise extreme caution around you humans. Especially Miko, because she has the bad habit of darting around under Bulkhead’s pedes. He doesn’t have a very good equilibrium, if you did say so, so the amount of time’s he’s almost fallen trying not to step on the young girl is probably well into the double digits. You often have to remind her to watch where she’s going, especially if more of the Autobots are in the base. Bulkhead will sometimes opt to let you both ride around on his shoulders to solve this problem, but he’ll be stiff as a board when he does this, for fear of throwing one of you off. You both make sure to hold on to his plating so to let him relax.
If you get along with Wheeljack, then Bulkhead is going to be one happy mech. Sometimes Jack will joke about the two Wreckers having joint custody of you and Miko, because you’ll probably end up spending just as much time with Wheeljack as you do with Bulkhead. You’ll often end up going with them on patrol together, and they’ll have a friendly race if you’re somewhere with little risk of getting seen or running into other humans. It usually ends up being a tie, but Miko makes them both feel like a winner while you insist on grabbing victory grub from a drive-through and going to find somewhere pretty to eat.
Bulkhead reserves his nicknames for those who are closest to him (I.e., 'Jackie’, because he’s known Wheeljack far longer than Miko, as much as he loves her), so he’d probably only give you one if you were to become his significant other. It would most likely be derived from your name, and he’d only refer to you as it when the others aren’t around or aren’t paying attention. He loves you, and he likes having you to himself. He would like to be called anything with the term 'stud’ in it, like 'Studmuffin’. He gets so flustered, and he thinks you’re so cute when you call him by a nickname.
He would definitely get you flowers of some sort as a gift for any occasion - they don’t even have to be a bouquet! A potted plant, or one of those pots with an assortment of tiny succulents would do just as well, and would last far longer. He himself loves flowers, too, so he’d always be down for receiving them from you, too. He’d love it if you made a flower crown for him.
Ultra Magnus
It would seem that you've wound up with Ultra Magnus as your guardian, probably against both your initial begrudge. Optimus appointed him to protect you, however, and Magnus would put aside his personal feelings to follow the Prime's orders and to ensure your safety. You warm up to him after a while, however, when you realize that beneath his rigid exterior, there's a big heart in that spark chamber of his. Eventually - it takes quite a long time, but eventually - he warms up to you, too. And you're never quite the same after he does.
Have some tidbits based on some of the questions:
As much as he would hate to admit it, Ultra Magnus actually likes Earth a lot more than he lets on. It's refreshing to be on a planet that's so full of life and vitality. And though he doesn't get to often, he enjoys going out on long drives in the middle of the day and soaking the sun into his alt-mode's outer plating, feeling the wind rush by him and allowing him to forget about the immense responsibilities resting upon his shoulders - if not just for a little while. Sometimes, once you've both opened up to each other, he'll invite you to bring any homework you might have and go with him on one of his "scouting missions". You know it's just his way of letting off steam and stopping to catch his breath, but you never point it out. Your friendship is built upon tactful silence and knowing what to say and when and when not to say it, after all.
Ultra Magnus also enjoys listening to thunderstorms, surprisingly enough. He'll sit just inside the doors to the base, him having cracked them open just enough so he can see the rain fall and the lightning flash. He'll let you sit beside him at times like these, and on a very special occasion he'll invite you to sit between his neck and his shoulder, so long as you hold on to make sure you don't fall off. If you fall asleep up there, though, don't worry - he's very careful, and he'll make sure not to drop you when he maneuvers you to the couch on the upper floor. He secretly finds it endearing, though he wouldn't tell a soul (he doesn't even really like admitting it to himself).
You don't actually share your music with Magnus, per se - you didn't think that he would like such "noise" (as he's referred to Miko's habit of blasting Slash Monkeys through Bulkhead's stereo system). He catches you listening to it one day, though, and much to your surprise, he starts asking you about it. He's genuinely curious about why you like this or that song, or what the lyrics mean. You always answer his questions until he's satisfied, and on the very rare occurrence that he's not filing reports or on patrol, he'll sit with you while you listen and comment on particular things he likes about each track. (He actually figures out your favorite radio station and surprises you one drive by turning it on. He admits that perhaps he's taken a liking towards music, which is unusual for him because he's never been too fond of it before.)
If you like winter, then you're in luck - Ultra Magnus finds absolute fascination in it and the many varying effects it has on different places on this Earth. He especially enjoys snow, despite his displeasure of getting it between his plating. (He has taken you and the rest of the kids to a state farther north just so you could all have a big snowball fight before. The other Autobots joined in, of course, but all were taken aback by it having been Ultra Magnus' suggestion in the first place. At first, he didn't want to get involved in the flying projectiles of frozen water, but when Optimus - Optimus Prime himself - threw a ball the size of a small car directly at Ultra Magnus' helm [and quite successfully hitting his mark, one might add], he decided that maybe it wouldn't break any protocols to return friendly fire. He wound up winning, by far. He also let you and the kids crawl up into his cab afterwards to warm up, despite being soaked and unavoidably getting his upholstery wet. He did make sure that you all stayed still long enough so Ratchet could give you a thorough checkup, though.)
Out of everything that he does, Ultra Magnus considers his work and responsibilities to be his top priorities always. His priorities change when you come into the picture, however, but you always make a point of never bothering him if he's busy or in the middle of something. It's something that made him admire you, and one of the things that started to get him to open up to you. He makes a point of making himself available to you whenever possible in return.
You know he struggles with his war-ingrained formality sometimes, but as he grows closer to the Autobots you notice he makes more of an effort to relate and express himself. Sometimes it works out, other times it comes across wrong. You try to help him when you can, suggesting things that he could ask the others to start conversations and get to know them better. It makes a noticeable difference, and it's only until after he gets more comfortable with it that you realize he had been nervous at the very start and had just hidden it beneath all those layers of discipline and rigidity.
I sincerely hope you're an early bird if you've got Ultra Magnus as a guardian. If not, you're in for a rough time, because this 'Bot gets up at 0500 sharp every morning, no matter what. And even if you are an early bird, you're going to struggle at first, getting used to his borderline religious schedule. Sometimes you wonder how he functions at even an iota of a normal capacity. You've asked him exactly that once before, and you think that was the first and only time you've ever got the closest to a laugh out of the stoic mech. He did smile, though. Maybe it was the phrasing of your question, or maybe it was because of your own bleary-eyed, half-catatonic state. Your bedhead had been particularly bad that day, after all.
Sometimes you make a game of moving Ultra Magnus' stuff around - never by much, mind you, and you certainly don't tamper with it - but you find an indescribable delight in moving his stack of holopads over just a quarter of an inch and seeing his optical ridges furrow and tug down whenever he walks by. He always notices. Always. And you do it whenever you get the chance. (You're pretty sure he knows, but he's never asked about it. You wouldn't be surprised if he'd checked every single holopad for fingerprints or energon signatures to find out who keeps doing it.)
Ultra Magnus wouldn't give you a nickname unless you actually became significant others, and you wouldn't dare call him one to his face, but when he's not around you'll refer to him as 'Maggy'. You've made a pact with the rest of Team Prime that they should never dare utter this fact to Ultra Magnus, lest they suffer your wrath. If the possibility of becoming his significant other were to happen, however - which would take even longer than your friendship took to forge and for him to even refer to you by your first name - he would most likely call you 'darling' or 'my world'. Kind of cheesy, but don't tell anyone. He's a big softie when he wants to be.
If Ultra Magnus were to get you a gift - the keyword being a very emphasized 'if' - there's a ninety-nine percent chance he's going to get you a Swiss Army knife. No joke. Even if you already have one, he's going to research every make and model on the internet in order to get you the very best one. He'll even sharpen the blades for you, if you need it done. And if you ask him to teach you how, he will drop everything and make sure you know every brush and stroke and technique of keeping your blades paper-thin sharp so that you could even cut through the Nemesis' hull if you wanted to. Needless to say, you wouldn't really know whether to feel flattered or worried by the end of the experience.
Optimus Prime
It would seem that you've caught the optic of the leader of the Autobots himself. Optimus takes it upon himself to keep you safe, as he senses that you and he share many common traits. He soon becomes fiercely affectionate and protective of you, and, eventually, he will wonder how he ever lived before he met you.
Have some tidbits based on some of the questions:
You and he enjoy watching the sunset together, and will linger to watch the stars come out. He'll tells you stories of where he's been, the distant worlds he's seen, and sometimes - if the sky is clear enough - he'll find Cybertron's star and point it out to you. You love to listen to his voice, to his experiences, and sometimes you wish that you could add your own. He pushes you to do so, claiming that your stories are just as enrapturing to him as his are to you.
Sometimes, in the rare occasion that it rains in Jasper City, Optimus will let you sit in his alternative mode or will sit beside you in the small cave above the base so you can see and hear the rain. He knows you enjoy it, since you told him about it once, and will stay as long as he can. The only thing that would pull him back into the base is if the wind and lightning started to get bad. (You have been known to fall asleep leaning against him or curled up in his passenger seat - he makes it his goal to sit as still as he can or not let his engine rev too loudly so you can rest just a little longer.)
You make a habit of sharing your music with Optimus, whenever he's just chilling in lulls between missions. He claims he finds your taste in music to be soothing, and sometimes you could swear that you hear him hum some of the melodies you've listened to with him. (It's a secret wish of yours that he would one day sing a duet with you. You don't care if anyone else hears or not, so long as you got to hear his rolling timbre rise and fall in time with a song. [He would so be up for it.])
Optimus once expressed his liking for spring to you; he enjoys seeing fields of flowers blooming and hearing the birdsong in wooded areas. He's invited you to go on drives with him on occasion, long stretches of highway and wildlife and fresh air. It's refreshing, and being with someone who still finds Earth so new is uplifting in a way you just can't describe.
Both you and Optimus are very family-oriented people, and he's taken aback at first by your fierce protectiveness of the other humans and the rest of the Autobots. He admires your affection for them, and often you find yourself the center of his gentle not-smile when you're interacting with the other Autobots. (Especially Ratchet, you've noticed. You're one of the few humans the medic can stand, and it clearly shows. It reflects in Optimus' regard for you, as well.)
You've admitted your despondent wish that you could help the Autobots in their cause to Optimus before, and he's reassured you that you do just as well giving them emotional support than you would if you ran into battle with them. Your dedication to them and their cause is just another thing that makes him admire you all the more.
As you share your favorite music with him, Optimus shares his favorite stories and books with you. You're surprised when he starts lending you actual books of his, and though you still don't know how he manages to read them (they're smaller than his fingers can actually hold the pages individually), you end up thoroughly enjoying every single one that he lets you borrow. (He has a surprising inkling towards fantasy and romance, but you keep that to yourself. Can't let Megatron find out Optimus is a big softie.) Sometimes, you ask him to read some parts to you, especially bits you know will turn into a funny or very meaningful, emotional scene, as his voce adds that extra layer of perfection that brings it all together. To your surprise, he often returns the sentiment - but he makes sure to give you breaks so your voice doesn't go out.
After you've gotten to know each other for a long time, you start to call Optimus 'Bossbot' or 'Big Red' when you're alone. You're not really aware of just how much he enjoys the nicknames, and he would absolutely be okay with you referring to him by them in public. You never do, though, as you figure propriety is important to him. He does have to admit to himself that he enjoys the level of intimacy you hold it to. He wishes he could come up with a nickname or a pet name for you, but finds that he couldn't quite put all of what you mean to him into one singular name. Sometimes, he'll settle for 'My Spark'.
Optimus would most definitely get you books as a gift, no matter the occasion. Ever expressed an interest in astronomy? Bam, that's what you're getting for your birthday. You want to learn more about Cybertronian mythology? Boom, he's getting Ratchet to help him compile a file of all their combined knowledge on the subject. You'd better buy yourself a bookshelf if you don't already have one, because if Optimus catches wind of something you may want to learn more about, you're getting a book about it at some point or another. (Agent Fowler ends up being Optimus' personal mailman at some point - Optimus would order the books off the internet and he'd have Fowler bring them to him. Agent Fowler often makes a joke out of saying he'd always wanted to be a librarian as a kid.)
Arcee
Despite how she may play it off, Arcee actually loves the color pink. If you surprise her with a bow or flowers, she'll definitely be delighted by them. She'd love to wear a flower crown, too - it would accentuate her secondary pink plating. She would so strut her stuff while wearing it, too - look at what my charge made me, I know I look good! She'd love any gift you got her, for that matter. Anything from you that reminded you of her is incredibly special to her, and her wings will flutter in flattery. She'll always strive to return the favor, as well, so be prepared for something in return. It may not be something too gaudy, but it'll be sentimental and heartfelt. Help her, she's too precious.
Arcee would probably express an interest in your favorite music - Jack shared his with her, so why not find out yours, too? So long as it's not of Miko's favored caliber, she'll probably enjoy whatever you like. She might compare some of her favorites with you - she doesn't have many, but every now and again she'll hear something over the radio that she grows fond of. (Be warned, though - if you listen to country/western, she may disappear from your company for a while. Don't take it personally, she just needs a little space - it was Cliffjumper's favorite genre of music, too. She'll come back eventually, with a small, distant smile, and she'll sit with you and enjoy the mutual silence only broken by the music while she reminisces on old, fond memories.)
Arcee enjoys winter, surprisingly enough - snow, in particular. She loves making shapes out of it, and she'll definitely be down for a snowball fight (you'll have to initiate it, though - she's got to act like the responsible adult, after all). She laments the fact that she and Optimus weren't able to bring Raf a snowball back from the Arctic.
As we know, Arcee struggles with the losses of both Tailgate and Cliffjumper. This is source of both her introversion and protectiveness over you and Jack. As mentioned before, it's going to take her a little while to get used to you and open up, so just be patient with her. She's also prone to being a little prickly at times, so don't feel bad if she bypasses you sometimes. But, with time, she'll accept you into her small brood, and you'll soon forget about her grudgingness in the first place. There's a chance that she might even share stories about her adventures with both her past partners.
If you've got a dry sense of humor, then you're going to get along with her very well. She's got wit dryer than a desert river-bottom, and if you can keep up with her quips then she'll be enamored with you.
Arcee likes to take long drives to clear her head, so expect her to disappear every so often for a few hours. She'll invite you to go with her, occasionally, so if you need a breath of fresh air then she'll take you somewhere quiet and peaceful.
Arcee's the type of friend that will know exactly where everything you have is and where it last was, so if you've lost something, then go to her. She'll help you find whatever it is, as well, but she might scold you for losing it, especially if it's something important like a laptop or your phone.
She is definitely a night owl due to her insomnia, so she'd definitely be down for late-night movie marathons. She'll let you sleep on her chassis, and she'll stay with you if you struggle with insomnia, too.
She probably won't be likely to give you a nickname, but she wouldn't mind it if you gave her one. If she were to give you one, though, it'd probably be derived from your name.
Arcee would get you a gift for your birthday, but she would struggle with it as she would worry herself to the primer trying to figure out the perfect thing to get you. She'd probably end up either going to the other Autobots or the kids for help, and depending on who you're closest to will determine how much help they offer her. She would end up choosing something sentimental and special to you both. There's also a good chance that she'd take you somewhere pretty.
Wheeljack
It would seem you got Wheeljack as your guardian! He'd probably be dismissive of you at first, given he probably wouldn't want a human charge for fear of you being a liability - but Optimus appointed him to you, so he'll see to it that you don't get hurt. Bulkhead would talk him out of his initial reluctance, telling him that having a human charge is not as troublesome as it may seem at first, and to give you a chance. Wheeljack would see to your needs, but it would take a while for him to actually open up to you. And, even then, it's going to take a while for him to trust you completely - but that's how he is with everyone, isn't it? Just be patient with him, and he'll come around before long. He's a worthwhile friend in compensation for getting past his shell.
Here's some tidbits based on some of the questions:
Wheeljack has gone through a lot, and he's seen a lot, so please don't take it personally when he's not very warm towards you in the first couple of weeks. He's got trust issues, and has trouble getting to know new people. Bulkhead's going to be a big help to the both of you, starting conversations that both you and the Wrecker can add to and relate. Wheeljack's not much of a talker, so don't press him to open up and you'll be fine. Let him open up on his own, and you'll see the results it'll bring. Once he gets used to having you around and accepts the fact that you're going to be his responsibility for the indefinite future, he'll start asking things about you. Your name, what it means, when your birthday is, what things you like to do in your free time, that kind of stuff - simple, but effective. If you express an interest in his ship, you'll be in for a long, in-depth conversation on the ins and outs of the Jackhammer and its intricacies. It's Wheeljack's home away from home, and it really shows. That'll most likely be your first true conversation, and it'll help him to relax more around you, knowing that he has something to fall back on if other interactions take a nose-dive. Wheeljack always needs a backup plan, and once he's got one, it'll be smooth (but still slow) sailing from there. (He'll take you flying, eventually, if you ask him about it. He'll keep you on his shoulder so you don't fall, and will do some of the less dangerous air tricks he's learned over the years just so you have to hold onto his face plating. He thinks it's cute if you squeak, too.)
If you get along well with Bulkhead, you're set for life. Wheeljack will feel so much more comfortable around you if you have Bulkhead as common ground. He'll tell you embarrassing stories about the ex-Wrecker just to get him flustered, and you'll both start teasing the dark green mech before the conversation is over. Wheeljack can see why Bulkhead likes you, because you like Bulkhead right back.
Wheeljack likes going out on patrol in the mornings, just before the sun has risen and when the air is still cool. He'll be okay with you joining him, so long as you don't engage him in anything other than an occasional question or remark. If he can get away with these (sometimes Ultra Magnus has other plans), it gives him a chance to breathe some fresh air and relax in preparation for the new day. It helps to keep him grounded and be less likely to get agitated with the other members of Team Prime (though you can never really know if it's going to be one of those days Magnus makes it his goal to be more domineering than usual). It ends up being a habit that you wake up early enough to go with him, and sometimes he'll stop in a secluded area so you both can watch the sun rise. ("It's almost like meditation," you tell him one day, and he ponders it a moment before shrugging a nonchalant shoulder and nodding. "'Guess you could say that," he muses.)
If he were to pick a season that he favored over the others, he'd probably say autumn. He likes that certain scent the air gets (you know the one), and the colors that the tree leaves turn before they fall. He'll often go to heavily forested areas during these times to just sit and watch the sun shine through all the reds and oranges and yellows and feel the cooling breeze brush by him. He'll invite you to go with him, and will recommend that you bring something to eat so you don't get hungry. He'd be totally okay with you bringing a picnic, enjoying the companionable silence as you both enjoy this little moment of quiet among your lives of chaos. He'd probably aim to do it farther into the evening, so you both can watch the sun set and stargaze for a while before returning to base. He'll point out star systems that he's been to in his travels, tell you stories of what he's done in each of them. If you end up falling asleep listening to the sound of his voice, he won't hold it against you. It'd probably take him a while to notice - he'd be looking up at the dark, glittering expanse above him, before looking down. He'd then realize that you'd gone limp leaning against him, sleeping soundly. He'd smile gently and chuckle softly before waking you. He'd promise that you can sleep on the way back, he just needs you to sit up so he won't squish you mid-transformation. He thinks you're cute when you sleep, so it wouldn't really be his fault if he turned his radio on low and dimmed the lights within his cab while you curled up on his declined passenger seat. He wouldn't even bother transforming back whenever you returned to base - he'd ward off anyone that would come close and recharge in his alt-mode so he wouldn't have to wake you up again. The next morning he'll play off any affection he may have shown in the action, however, by teasing you about how you snored or drooled all night (even if you didn't - you get to the point when you can call him out on his bs).
Wheeljack's ship may be tidy, but the same cannot be said for his berthroom. Whether it's in the base or in the Jackhammer, it doesn't matter - the amount of stuff he's accumulated over the centuries has just kept piling up and has gotten to the point where he wouldn't be able to do anything about it unless he were to clean out its entirety. He finds things he hasn't seen in years, humming in thought, 'That's where that went!', before tossing it back into the void of junk. It's a constant treasure hunt, his berthroom. The only space that is cleared away is his berth and computer terminal, and even then, it's in danger of being hidden by stuff. Wheeljack doesn't let you into his room much, for fear of losing you among the mountains of junk. You joked one time about how you wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of creature feeding off the old, dusty things piled atop each other.
Wheeljack isn't really one to listen to music that often, but he'll let you play yours out loud if you're patrolling while you keep yourself occupied. He'll comment on a particular song he may find all right every so often. (You actually make a playlist of the ones he likes, so you can play them more often. If he's ever noticed, he's never said anything to you about it.) Also, it's very, very, very unlikely, but there's a minute chance that you might catch him singing to himself while he works on the Jackhammer or one of his inventions. To your surprise, it'll be Earth songs, probably leaning more towards jazz, blues, or country/western. He's got that barely-there rasp to add on top of that smooth cadence that you just can't beat. You wish he'd sing more often, but you never ask him directly for fear of alienating him from the idea. (He'd totally be okay with singing for you in private, if you ever become his significant other. It's one of his ways of seduction, and boy, does he do it well. He's going to get you flustered in no time, bucko. He'd also like singing duets with you, and he might even record them to the Jackhammer's audio files so he can listen to them while he flies or works.) But while this mech may not really be one for singing (at least publicly), he is probably the smoothest slow dancer you'll find this side of the Milky Way. He'll start up some tunes that you've either introduced to him or that he's discovered himself and raise an optical ridge before smirking and mass-converting to a more manageable size. (You'd probably reach about the middle or top of his uppermost chest plate [the one that's in the center of his chassis on the picture]). He'd like that size because he'd still be able to look down at you and hold you in his arms comfortably. He likes that you're smaller than him; he thinks you're cute.) He'd offer a servo to you, his optics glowing, before pulling you against him and proceeding to woo the fool out of you. He'd take it slow, guiding you through the steps and motions, and even if you consider yourself to be a bad dancer, you're going to know how to two-step by the end of the night. (You honestly don't know how Wheeljack of all people knows how to two-step, but you certainly aren't complaining.) He'll only do this when you've gotten very close, however, so you're already very comfortable with each other by this point and there won't be much of a risk of him clamming up halfway through.
This mech is one smooth talker. He'll tease and compliment you in the same sentence and still manage to fluster the fool out of you. He's perfected his wit into an art, having used it both to entertain and get himself out of deadly scrapes time after time, and if you're one that can keep up with his banter, you'll be exchanging verbal swordplay in no time. He'll make a sport of flustering you, though, so just get ready for the mass of borderline flirting that he's going to be sending your way. He finds it entertaining to get you to blush - he likes the darker hue your skin takes because of how alien it is to him. The differences in your respective biology fascinates him to no end, and sometimes you'll catch him just watching you while you walk or talk or do something else. It's not a malicious fascination, either - he's just genuinely curious about how your species differ and are still very similar in regards to your basic anatomy. He's not a scientist by any means, but it's still something he thinks is interesting. He'll ask you questions occasionally, like how you digest fuel or react to certain things. If you're knowledgeable in the subject, then expect a long list of inquiries that he'll expect to have answers to before he leaves you alone.
Wheeljack would it enjoy it if you were to offer to give him a tour of Jasper City, or whatever else may have been your home town. He'd like to see where you grew up, where you spent your free time, where you made the most memories. He'll tell you about Cybertron in return, describing his home and what it was like before the war had ravaged it of its beauty and peace. He misses his home, you can tell, but being able to be a part of yours makes it a little better.
Wheeljack would enjoy intense action or thriller movies. If that isn't your cup of tea, then he wouldn't push you to watch them with him, but he would enjoy your company. The yawn-and-lean is inbound, so just prepare yourself.
The Wrecker also has a touch of insomnia, so if you were to stay up with him while he tinkers with his gadgets to keep him company, he'd be really touched. If you suffer from it, too, he'd sympathize. He'd suggest maybe you both should go see Ratchet, mostly intended as a joke, but when you say that maybe he should, he actually starts to consider it.
Wheeljack has a bad habit of clamming up whenever something undesirable happens, whether Ultra Magnus pissed him off (again) or if he's just not feeling up to snuff. He'll close everybody out, excluding himself and going off on patrol by himself or hiding away in the Jackhammer. There's a good chance it'd probably coincide with a fresh bout of depression hitting him. He's gone through a lot, especially loss, and I wouldn't doubt it if there's a good bit of PTSD he deals with, too. He won't speak to anyone during these times, not even Bulkhead, so it would probably be best that you give him space, at least for a little while. You'd probably end up going into the Jackhammer to find him muttering curses to himself in frustration while he tries to fix one of his gadgets. He'll be okay with you staying there under the guise of doing homework or something, and having your presence there will make him feel a little less lonely and would help ground him in the midst of his turmoil. Don't try to pry, though, or he'll just clam right back up and shut you out again. Just be patient with him - he might actually start venting a little bit if you wait quietly long enough. He just needs someone to release his pent-up emotions to, he hasn't had that in a long time and it's taken a heavy toll on his emotional wellbeing; so don't speak until he's done or he'll stop. He really needs to let a lot of his turmoil go, so be prepared to hear some dark and negative things. He'll try to make it up to you, though, by thanking you and offering to take you to get something to eat. He really appreciates you being there for him, and it's after the first time this happens that Wheeljack realizes what Bulkhead had meant and why he'd been reluctant to have you in the first place. He'll be noticeably warmer towards you after this, and will be far more affectionate, realizing how important you've grown to be to him. (Bulkhead will notice the change immediately, and he'll breathe a sigh of relief knowing that his best friend has finally let himself be close to another person. He's even more relieved that that person is you - you're good for Wheeljack, he knows, and Wheeljack's good for you. You balance each other out well.) Every time that the both of you go through this, where he gets in a slum and you pull him back out of it, his affection for you will increase and his gratitude will grow more sincere. Eventually, he gets to the point that he'll just vent whenever the source of his agitation first arises, so it doesn't have time to build up and threaten to pull him down. He gets better about communicating his feelings, too. It would seem you're helping this mech to finally start to heal, and he'll be forever thankful for it.
If you've got a thing for men with scars, Wheeljack's got you covered. He likes to show off his physical scars, all the dings and nicks in his plating and the deep scratches on his faceplate. He'd love it if you were to draw him, tilting his helm at just the right angle that he knows makes him look best. He'll model for you if you ever need a visual reference, following your directions and holding the pose until you're done. He'd admire any art you produced, even if it wasn't of him, praising you on the effort and skill you put into the pieces. But, as all soldiers do, he's got psychological scars to match the outward ones. His wit, while it is part of his character, is also a defense mechanism he uses to deflect others away from anything he may be going through. His depression is something he battles regularly, but his PTSD does rear its ugly head every so often. Usually it'll flare up after a particularly harsh brawl with the Decepticons, and Wheeljack will get this faraway look in his optics. It's not quite like how he is when he's depressed - he'll still talk with the others, he's just going to be vacant. He'll usually have a nightmare while recharging that night, and then he'll end up staying up until morning afterwards for fear of having another one. If you offer to stay with him, though, he'll at least go lay back down and let you crawl up on his chassis. If you'll start telling him happy or funny stories from your childhood, it'll help him relax again and distract him from the dark memories that're threatening to bubble over. You'll notice that his shoulders will relax, his venting will even out, and the life will come back into his optics in the form of warm affection as he gazes at you. If you talk long enough, he'll drift off into recharge. He'll sleep soundly for the rest of the night, and the next morning he'll wake up and wonder what he had ever done without you. This, like your venting sessions, will recur occasionally, and eventually it just becomes a habit of him subtly inviting you to sleep with him if he's going through a particularly rough patch. The nightmares will grow fewer and farther between, as well, until they're practically nonexistent. He'll get used to your presence, however, and he'll miss you sorely if you're not there with him.
While Bulkhead may be very protective, Wheeljack is far more aggressive and far more terrifying with his carefully brandished fury (and swords). If anyone were to even think about laying a hand on you, they'd better have written their will, because all that's going to show up in the morgue is a lump of bloody flesh hardly recognizable as a human's remains. Of course, while he may very closely consider the abovementioned treatment of your potential aggressors, he knows that he couldn't do that to a human without severe consequences. He'd settle for agitating them in traffic, or doing all that he could to ruin their day, like honk loudly and make them drop their coffee or park in both of the last two parking spaces in the K.O. Burger's parking lot ahead of them. You'd admonish him for it, and he'd just shrug a side view mirror and grunt noncommittally. ("It's not like they didn't have it coming," he'd say. "What afthole would honk at an elderly femme crossing the street?" "I don't think you need to worry about that one - she did hit his car and made his airbags go off, if you do so recall." Wheeljack chuckled gleefully, "Oh, I do recall. I think she would've made a fine Wrecker in her day." "Wheeljack, you're insufferable." "I know. And you love me for it.") However, if it were to be a Decepticon threatening your wellbeing, then...well, Wheeljack's going to have the chance to vent his frustrations out on that (poor) Vehicon. There's going to be a few flashes of gray, and then the Vehicon's going to be laying scattered across the ground in unidentifiable pieces. No one - no human and no Decepticon, either - messes with Wheeljack's human and gets away unscathed. He might not always be able to do what he wants, but he will always make sure there's compensation for the wrong someone has done you.
A relationship with Wheeljack would be unlike any other. He'd absolutely spoil you, pampering you and ensuring you are in constant supply of everything you might need or want. And while it may have taken a long time to get to the point where Wheeljack would consider settling down, the time and the work you've put in for it were well, well worth it. He's already made certain of your worth to him, but making the step of having you just as his human charge to having you as his significant other would be a big one for him. He doesn't do relationships all that often, especially long-term ones, but he'd be willing to put aside his hesitation in favor of making you the happiest human that has ever walked planet Earth. You are never in short supply of affection or attention, as Wheeljack seems to have a daily fix that he holds himself up to getting from you. You're the light of his life, and he's going to damn well make sure you know it. He doesn't know what he's done in his long, lonely life for Primus to bless him with someone like you, but he's going to appreciate every second of having you that he can.
And now, for the pet names. Wheeljack is the king of pet names, there can be no argument against that fact. He calls everybody something other than their name, even Ultra Magnus. Sometimes, it's due to affection, others, due to camaraderie, and then sometimes it's due to disdain. You can usually tell pretty easily which designation each one falls under. He enjoys getting under people's skin or getting them flustered, thus probably why he persists in agitating 'Doc'/'Sunshine' just to get a rise out of the older mech. However, we would reserve only the most special names for you, especially as his significant other. He'd call you by your name, first and foremost, because he considers it to be very intimate to use someone's given name - but southernisms are probably abound, as well. 'Darlin'', 'Sweetheart/spark', and 'Sweetpea' are good examples. He would rather you not call him 'Jackie', as that has and always will be Bulkhead's name for him, but he'd love it if you returned the southernisms right back at him. He'd be fine with any given pet name, but use his real name and you'll have him melting in seconds - just keep in mind he's going to try his hardest to get you right back, and will not be adverse to using kisses as a means to even the score.
Bumblebee
Looks like Raf's going to have to share the resident muscle car with you. Not that he minds, though - he enjoys having your company just as much as Bumblebee does! He probably volunteered freely to take you under his watch, under Optimus' approval. The Prime had no doubts of the scout's capabilities, and boy, was he right. You're inbound to have the two best friends you've ever had, and between these, two, you're never going to have the chance to feel down about yourself! They'll always make sure you're happy and smiling, and you'll always be having fun. Bumblebee will become just as protective of you as he is of Raf in no time, guaranteed
Here's some tidbits based on some of the questions:
Bumblebee loves the color yellow. It's of little surprise, really, given his paintjob (which, even after he has to change it, he still keeps yellow accents, despite the risks of getting found out by the Decepticons), and you quickly pick up on that fact within the first couple of weeks of getting to know him. One day, while he's patrolling somewhere in the breadbasket states, he comes back to base with a whole armful of bright yellow sunflowers that he claims were growing on the side of the road. If you can make flower crowns, then you're going to have this 'Bot enamored with you. Fortunately, the stems are thick enough to bind together and the flowers are large enough that they'll sit on his helm. In return, he'll tuck one of the smaller sunflowers behind your ear and whirr in excitement. If you get Miko to braid it into your hair so it'll stay a little longer, then his cooling fans are going to be running overdrive because the both of you match and he'd never realized humans were so cute before.
You most likely have trouble understanding all of what Bumblebee says, and Raf will have to translate most of it, but sometimes you can pick up on what the scout is saying from his gestures. You bring up the idea of the both of you learning sign language, and he absolutely loves the idea to bits and pieces. It takes a while, and neither of you never really learn it in its entirety, but you manage to learn enough that you can hold a pretty strong conversation with Raf only having to fill in some of the gaps of the gestures neither of you know. Sometimes, if Fowler is bickering at Optimus, Bumblebee will start talking with his servos behind his back. You usually catch the gestures for "stuffy" and "stiff", but the little quirks Bumblebee makes with his optical ridges always make you have to stifle your laughter. He's so cute and can make you laugh so easily, it's ridiculous.
If there is one thing for certain, Bumblebee likes to sunbathe. Sometimes, if he doesn't have anything to do, he'll go up to the top of the base and sprawl out on the rockface. He'll let you and Raf settle in beside him, but only where he casts shadows. He doesn't want either of you to get sunburned or have heat strokes. Bless this bb, he's so concerned for you guys' wellbeing.
Bumblebee would also absolutely let you play your music over his radio system, even if he's in his default mode. Luckily, his alt-mode's got Bluetooth, so when you sync up your phone, he lets you play your music whenever you want. He loves dubstep and chiptune, no question, and if you like it, too, you're in for a constant stream of it. You have dance-offs frequently, and the others always end up watching no matter what they had been doing before. Bumblebee's got some good moves, for someone who's made of metal. Sometimes you manage to get Raf to join in, and you've actually choreographed before. While it may not have been perfect, it was ridiculously fun and sometimes you'll just start going through the motions randomly. 'Bee will always, always drop whatever he's doing to join you, blaring a suitable song over his radios to give it a little extra.
If it's the summertime, you bound to go on frequent drives with the scout, as his rank reflects his responsibilities. Make sure to bring a book or something else to do, because Bumblebee absolutely loves to drive, to feel the sun and the wind on his outer plating, so you're going to be out a while. You think he might've enjoyed being a racecar, and if there's a clear stretch of road, you'll coax him to go faster, much to his beeping and whistling delight.
If you get along well with the rest of the team, you're going to have Bumblebee absolutely enamored with you in no time. He loves his dysfunctional little family, even if the 'dysfunctional' aspect rears its head more often than any of you would like. Sometimes he'll just watch you interact with the others and start humming to himself at the warm, fluttery feeling in his spark chamber. (Bless this boy, he would get such a crush on you so quickly he doesn't know what to do with himself.) He especially delights in if you take a liking to Optimus and vice-versa - his father figure is extremely important to him, and he would love sharing the Prime's attention with you.
As we know, Bumblebee is a naturally lighthearted Cybertronian, so if you're ever in a slump, he will do his absolute best in trying to cheer you up. He'll give you anything and everything you need, no matter what - you want to go for a drive? He's already asking Ratchet to open the groundbridge. You want to go grab some grub and watch a movie at a drive-in theater? He's already loaded you up and on his way to town. You want cuddles? He's already sweeping you up in his arms and nuzzling you against his helm. You just want some quiet and space? He's already got you in an empty room in the base and will wait patiently until you tell him the next thing you want. He's the absolute best at handling someone who's crying, too - he'll just hold you close and wipe the tears away as they come. He might even use mass displacement so he can hold you better without the risk of squishing you or poking your eyes out. He just cares for you so much, and it makes him so sad that you're not feeling good. This boy loves you, even if you're not in a relationship, and he just wants you to be happy.
Bumblebee has nicknames for everyone, most of the humans just can't tell because they don't know what he's saying. The Autobots aren't really phased by it anymore, and will respond without a thought. You're honestly surprised when Raf, translating as he always does, refers to you by a nickname Bumblebee calls you that you weren't aware of. The scout actually gets flustered, not having expected Raf to let you in on his secret, and his door wings will flutter nervously until you respond. He'd most likely call you something that alludes to your appearance, something you like, or a shared experience that you've both gone through. Say you admit your favorite flower to him, like morning glories - that's what he's going to call you: 'Morning Glory'. It's simultaneously simple but meaningful at the same time. He might call you other things like 'Sunshine'. And please, please, please call this boy 'Honeybee' if you give him a nickname. It will make him so happy and flustered and it will the number one way to get him to do something for you. It'll have him wrapped around your finger in no time.
Bumblebee would definitely be one to get something the two (or three, depending if Raf is present) of you could do together. Board games, video games, and puzzles are definitely examples of such things. He'll get you your favorite movies/television shows if you don't have them already, too, so you can watch them together. He loves spending time with you, and there's nothing better than bonding over games or TV, right?
Ratchet
It would seem that you hold the most similarities with the resident curmudgeon medic. Ratchet most likely didn't volunteer voluntarily to be your guardian, so Optimus probably appointed him to watch over you. He's against the idea at first, as he's always got seven and a half hands full (and very, very busy, thank you, Optimus!), but if you're patient enough with him, you'll find that you have quite the protective and caring Autobot wrapped right around your fleshy little finger.
Here's a list of tidbit based on some of the questions:
If you can manage to coax Ratchet away from his work and get him up to the top of the base to watch the sunset with you, you'll have accomplished something that not even Optimus Prime can do. It would be difficult, and Ratchet certainly would not make it easy, but once he sees the sky and its tranquil conglomeration of color, all his complaints would die on his glossa. He's always been one to appreciate natural beauty, and this will certainly give him the little break that he didn't know he needed. It would resonate with him that you would get him to do this for his own wellbeing, and he might apologize for giving you such a hard time. He might, might even offer to make up for it by inviting you to sit on his shoulder. He's a gentle 'Bot, he's just tired and worried for the rest of his little dysfunctional family.
You've been known to pick on him on occasion by cutting out pieces of orange paper in the shape of his optical crests and sticking them to your eyebrows, but only when he's not around. Everyone finds it absolutely hilarious, and they always get you to do your best impression of the him. You can impersonate him quite well - remarkably well, even Optimus thinks so - and never fail to have the Autobots rolling on the floor and nearly crying from laughing so hard. You get his cadence just right, and your spot-on, higher-pitched rendition of his infamous phrase, "I neEDED THAT!" even got Optimus to stifle a laugh once, you swear. (Once, Ratchet came in on one of your random renditions, and he started to scold you for it, but you actually went right back at him, staying in character the entire time as the both of you began to bicker. Bulkhead very nearly pissed himself from laughing. Bumblebee was actually crying by the end of it. Arcee retreated to her berthroom and wouldn't come out until the next day for fear of the medic hearing her laughter. And, you swear it to this very day, you heard Optimus say to Ratchet after he'd stomped off, fuming, "I was not aware that we uncovered an Iacon relic that was capable of cloning, old friend.")
Ratchet, at first, would gripe about you playing your music out loud, even if it was quiet. He eventually lets up, however, and rigs up a simple, Bluetooth-like system in his computer that you could connect your phone to and play your tunes while you both work. He made you swear not to tell Miko, though, or else none of them would ever get any rest ever again. You notice that he tends to like country/western, especially Johnny Cash and Brooks and Dunn. He swore you to silence in regards to that fact, as well. (Sometimes you'll start humming "Ring of Fire" just to pick at him. It never fails to glean a glare from him. Never.)
Ratchet often longs for peace and quiet, and, sometimes, under the guise of you needing a break, you'll get him to pick some random destination on the groundbridge and take you on a drive just so the poor old medic can have a while to himself. You always keep yourself occupied in those times, opting to do homework or doodle in your notebook just so he wouldn't have to bother with you by thinking or talking. Sometimes he'll go off-road and find a concealed clearing so he can stretch his legs out and relax while you explore the immediate area or just stick close by. He'll start naming off birds as they sing, or cloud formations as they pass over your heads, his optics half-lidded and his voice calm and distant. You're certain it helps him, because he always seems a little less grouchy the next day.
Ratchet is fiercely protective of his family, as we're all aware, and despite his initial repugnance of humans, you've all grown on him and he considers you just as close to him as the Autobots. You're well aware of the soft spot he holds for Raf, and sometimes, you're ashamed to admit, you've gotten jealous of the boy. (It was when you had a close-call with a Decepticon scouting patrol, having been riding to base, that you got injured while Ratchet was evading the Vehicons' fire. You wound up with a concussion from hitting your head on his dashboard, and you'd blacked out. When you woke up, you were in the base and Ratchet was borderline hysterical. Optimus was standing nearby, looking quite remiss as to how he could handle the situation, while Ratchet had obviously been pacing a trench in the floor. As soon as he'd noticed you were awake, he'd started fussing over you, asking what hurt, he'd been so irresponsible and reckless and it had been his fault-! You'd interrupted him then, insisting so strongly and firmly that he couldn't have had any idea that Decepticons were going to pop up that Ratchet actually stopped, his mouth hanging open, his optics wide as he stared down at you in absolute shock. Something had passed over his faceplate at that moment, something you couldn't quite decipher, but what you'd said obviously cemented in his processor and it seemed to calm him down instantly. He then methodically went through standard medical procedure in regards to a cranial wound, as though he hadn't just been frantic over the very thought of you being hurt. Optimus had stood there, obviously astounded [and rather impressed, if you could read the Autobot leader correctly], before he'd come the closest to smiling you've ever seen and had quietly moved away. [Since then, you've never doubted your importance to the Autobot medic, and you never miss how an edge in his voice will crop up, asking if you're okay after he's made a harsher stop while driving.])
If you're one to draw or craft things with your hands, like clay modeling or woodcarving, Ratchet will be all over that like a marshmallow on a sweet potato pie. He finds absolute fascination in crafting, and will ask about it nonstop until he has satisfied his curiosity (which, in all honesty, will not happen). He's a mechanic, a physician, and a scientist, so he certainly knows about how important one's hands can be. He enjoys watching you work in whatever you do, and it's probably the only time he'll ever focus on anything that he himself is not doing.
If you struggle with insomnia, as a lot of us do, Ratchet will find that he sympathizes greatly. He most likely suffers from PTSD (I mean, who can deny that? Can you imagine some of the stuff he's seen, especially being a medic?), so that's probably one of the reasons he doesn't recharge that often. Nightmares can give quite an incentive not to even try to rest. But, if you ask him to lay with you because being with someone helps you sleep better, then by Primus, he'll do it. He hates to see you so frustrated, especially with yourself, and he'll even take you into his berthroom so you're both away from potentially prying eyes. He'll settle you either next to his helm on his berth or will let you lay on his chest plating, where it's the warmest due to it being the location of his spark chamber. And, while he watches you drift off into well-deserved sleep, he himself will find, the next morning, that he'd recharged quite soundly as well. (It would probably become a habit for the both of you, in all honesty. You'd take comfort and peace in each other, and if you're gone one night, then Ratchet doesn't recharge. He can't, knowing that you're somewhere else and he's here, alone.)
Ratchet does have a sense of humor, despite what everyone else seems to think. It only peeks its head out at very rare moments, but you spend enough time with him to know exactly when it does. It's a very dry, a very satirical sense of humor, and you'll catch it in the moments when he grumbles under his breath or when he's griping at Optimus. Every now and again, however...every now and again, one of the Autobots will do or say something, make a remark, and Ratchet will look over to you, slowly, raise an optical ridge, and proceed to snark the shit out of whatever the other Autobot had done/said. He only ever directs such remarks at you, however, just quietly enough that only you can hear, and it takes every iota of willpower in your body not to split your appendix from laughing so damn hard. (This happens very rarely, unfortunately, and you wish that you could record these moments and send them in to America's Funniest Home Videos or something. You'd win the freaking ten thousand dollars, hands down, no questions asked. Alas, as you cannot make any public evidence of the Autobots' existence on Earth, your dream of getting rich is diminished to you leaking tears and snot and almost shoving your fist down your throat in an attempt to stifle your inhuman noises of borderline painful laughter while Optimus looks over at you, quite concerned, and Ratchet looks far too smug for his own good.)
With you being this close to Ratchet, however, there is one thing is for certain - if you ever need to just bitch about something, no matter what it is or who it may be about, you can bitch to Ratchet. He'll listen without judgment, and he'll offer small reminders to keep you from being too malicious. He's an expert at taking the brunt force of someone's venting, and he'll always make time for you if you're in need of a good explosion of frustration or hormones. He knows when to speak, when to make you stop so you can collect your next round of verbal ammunition, and when to finally, finally take you in servo and allow you to snot and sob onto his faceplate if necessary. He never complains about it, never speaks of it outside of whatever room he managed to take you to in time, and always, always asks if you feel better after the tears have dried up and you've calmed down. (You've told him once that he could've hired himself out for therapeutic cuddles on Cybertron instead of becoming a physician, and you actually got him to laugh at that.) However, as he extends that courtesy to you, you must also extend the same sentiment to him. And by the First Thirteen, he takes full advantage of it. If you think how he gripes while the other Autobots are present is bad, then you haven't experienced what it's like to have him by himself in a room where he knows they won't overhear. You can tell he's the type to bottle up his frustrations, because he's almost explosive in these moments of solitude, and has almost melted the clothes of your body and the flesh off your bones before (this is only when speaking of the Decepticons, however). Fortunately, he never directs his frustrations directly at you - or maybe he does it on purpose, so he won't alienate you - and it allows you to give him advice on what to do and how to deal with some of the stuff he's fussing about. A lot of the time it's simple things, like how Bulkhead had broken one of his tools again, or how Optimus almost got himself killed fighting the Decepticons again, or how Miko had broken her amplifier turning up the volume to loud again and had asked Ratchet to fix it (again!). You figure out pretty quickly that you've become his anchor, and you can start to tell when he's in need of a good bitch-session. Sometimes you'll even go back and forth to save time. You guys are Best Bitching Buddies™.
Now, as much as you're certain to tease Ratchet, there is little doubt you're going to come up with a couple of nicknames for him. 'Docbot' is among the main members of your roster, as well as 'Sunshine' (courtesy of Wheeljack, thank you very much, Wheeljack). (Ratchet swears that you and Wheeljack get together just to exchange and compare lists of pet names that will infuriate him. You're actually kind of irked by how closely Ratchet made his assumption, but had never actually heard nor seen one such of your meetings. They do happen. Frequently.) Ratchet, under common circumstances, would most likely not give you a nickname. However, if you were to become his significant other, he'd ask that you stick to one name for him and, in return, he'd give you one. Any sane person would accept the offer, no question - who would pass up the chance at receiving any sort of affection from Ratchet himself? Honestly. He'd probably go for something simple but endearing like 'Sweetspark'.(Hush, don't laugh, let this old mech rest. He's an old romantic and he knows what he's doing.)
Ratchet would get you gifts, no question. They'd be for special occasions only, however, like your birthday or Christmas or maybe even a Cybertronian holiday of similar caliber. He'd get you something practical but with potential sentimental value, like a scarf ("Never mind that it's orange and white, it's soft and warm and Cybertron below me stop looking at me like that!").
All Seven Decepticon Results for “Which Decepticon Would be Best Suited for You?” Quiz.
@minerfromtarn expressed the desire to read all the Decepticon results for the “Which Decepticon Would be Best Suited for You?” quiz that has been circling around.
Going through all the posts and taking the quiz a dozen or so times, I compiled a list of the seven Decepticons results -- Dreadwing, Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, Knockout and Breakdown.
PLEASE BE AWARE THAT I DID NOT CREATE THIS QUIZ -- AND AS SUCH, DID NOT WRITE THESE RESULTS!
Both the quiz and results are credited to Vulcanlover12 on Quotev.
(all results under the cut)
Dreadwing
Dreadwing would be good at taking care of you all around. He doesn’t particularly find humans to be disgusting/revolting like some Decepticons do - quite the opposite, actually. Aside from the fact that your species is rather insignificant and some are opposing the Decepticon cause, he finds that humans are interesting, culturally. He takes particular interest in different views of spirituality, especially those originating from Asia. Right from the beginning, he’ll ask you questions about different cultures and traditions that intrigue him, and if you don’t know that much about it then he’ll simply hum (perhaps in minute disappointment) before nodding and going about his business. Eventually, he’ll begin to ask you about your life before you were captured, how you met the Autobots, and not due to an ulterior motive - he’s just genuinely curious.
Dreadwing’s rather calm and complacent, and he won’t get agitated or annoyed with you even if you try to escape. He’s not worried about that bc he’s already ‘human/escape-proofed’ his quarters, so there is no way you’re getting out without outside assistance (which you won’t be getting anytime soon). He’s always two steps ahead and is consistent with when he feeds you. Honestly, he’s probably the best to handle a human due to these reasons. He doesn’t antagonize you or mock you when you get upset about your situation - he understands that war involves those less fortunate, but he won’t make too much of an effort to comfort you because of his ties to Megatron, whom he knew would not approve. He’s just a real straight-forward and honourable guy - his moral compass and integrity are strong, despite his chosen side. He sees no benefit in disheartening or being cruel to you just because you’re involved with the Autobots.
If you show interest in Cybertronian culture or mention something along the lines of it, Dreadwing would be more than happy to share his knowledge with you (so long as it doesn’t involve Decepticon secrets, of course). He’s very well-versed in their planets’ various cultures, and it saddened him greatly to see his planet fall. He’ll share old legends and stories with you, or tell you about the many places he visited before the war. He describes Cybertron so eloquently, it paints a perfect and beautiful picture of it in your mind whenever he talks about it. (You lament greatly that he never becomes an Autobot - you think he and Optimus would have enjoyed reminiscing about their old home together.)
Through sharing his passion with you and seeing how eagerly you listen and wish to learn, he would realize that humans aren’t at all as irrational or inferior as the other Decepticons make you out to be - you have just as much a capacity for learning and knowledge as Cybertronians do, and Dreadwing finds himself greatly impressed by that fact. And as time would go by, he would also come to the realization that even with the potential benefits of using you as a bargaining chip against the Autobots, it would be wrong and against his views. You’re bright and don’t deserve any waywardly fate that Megatron could wring upon you. And so, for this reason, he would secretly contact the Autobots and return you to Earth with the rest of the Decepticons being none the wiser to his true motivations - not wanting to see you’re hurt. It’s not until after you’re gone that he becomes aware of the feelings he’d developed for you.
Soundwave
Soundwave is probably the only one among the Decepticons that would actually make sure you’re well taken care of from the beginning. His desire to please Lord Megatron and to live up to the responsibilities the warlord places upon his shoulders would ensure that you would never go hungry, thirsty, or lack a place to sleep. All you’ve got to do is tell him, and though he may disappear for a while, he will return with whatever you requested. (Frankly, you’ve got it made, my friend.) However, where Soundwave tends to your physical needs, he lacks most of the tools to truly maintain your emotional wellbeing. He can’t talk to you outside of using radio clips or recorded bits of speech from either you or the other Decepticons. He can touch you, however, and will either use his spindly digits or tentacles. If you’re upset, than he will either leave Lazerbeak with you or let you chill on his shoulder while he works. If you’re angry, however, he will steer clear until you simmer down.
If you’re one for quiet, then you’ve got the right caretaker. Soundwave is rarely in his quarters, and he leaves you there most of the day for multiple reasons - one of them being that he doesn’t want you to gather intel on the Decepticons that you could potentially use against them, should you return to the Autobots. Another reason is so that you can’t escape. (He would baby/human-proof his quarters, too, so forget about crawling through the vents or something.) I’d be cautious, though, if you’re jumpy - this mech could sneak up on a mouse if he wanted to, and will inadvertently scare the living daylights out of you.
Soundwave, being as that he doesn’t express or convey emotion due to his reprogamming, would not realize his feelings for you right away. Rather, he would begin to wonder at how seamlessly the change in his life had been when Megatron had given your responsibility to him. You’re there when he wakes up from recharge every morning, and you’re there that night whenever he returns to his quarters. You’ve become a constant in his routine, and he mourns the change that would occur sooner or later whenever Megatron finally would make a bargain with the Autobots. It’s after that realization that he would, tentatively, reinstate some of his emotion modules. He would then be startled by the fondness and longing he possesses for you. He would not act upon it until he was sure that you didn’t hold as much revile for him as you did when you were first captured. If he had a suspicion that you were in any way interested in him, that’s when he would approach you with a datapad written out with his confession.
Soundwave would be the type of mech to spoil you rotten. If you still had any desire to return to Earth, it will most likely be forgotten in light of the luxurious life Soundwave would lavish you with (as luxurious as living in the Nemesis could be, anyway). You’d never be in want of anything, and he’d grant you physical affection at any given opportunity. Over time, he might even start using little sound bites of his own voice while talking to you, testing the waters for your reaction. You wouldn’t realize at first, but when he finally does speak to you using his own voice and no one else’s, it throws you for a complete and delighted loop.
Soundwave would very well bargain with the Autobots to get you back, as well as Starscream. If not, then there would be a noticeable increase in his aggression towards them on the battlefield.
Shockwave
I…sympathize. Greatly. Shockwave is good at taking care of your physical needs - excellent, perhaps, due to his tendency to adhere to a borderline religious schedule - but…you may as well give up in regards to your emotional needs. Shockwave will not go out of his way to talk to you as another intelligent being, mostly referring to you by ‘fleshling’ or 'organic’ and never once by your actual name. He is, frankly, cold and uncaring, so it will not be difficult to dislike him. He would keep you in his lab for the most part, so he can simultaneously keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t try anything illogical.
Seeing as he would not interact with you directly, Shockwave would only hear of you through the other Decepticons - Starscream or Knockout, perhaps, seeing as the former may interrogate you for information against the Autobots and the latter would tend to any wounds you may have. Shockwave would also hand you to Knockout if you started weeping or showing any other sign of emotion - he doesn’t want to be around it, as it would interrupt his work. (Please don’t like this asshole, he’s terrible.) However, if you are particularly fiery or witty he’ll definitely hear Starscream complain about it. It’ll intrigue him, but nothing more.
After such an occasion, he would begin to watch you - out of scientific curiosity, of course. He’d never had the opportunity to observe a human in such close quarters, much less a human. He views humanity as irrational as a whole, but the stark biological differences between your respective species would fascinate him. How such fragile organic life could sustain themselves for so long is beyond him, and he actually asks you out of the blue about it one day. It’ll most likely startle you because of the silence you’re adjusted to sitting in while in his lab. He’ll ask you to explain a lot of things about human development and science, so I hope those are subjects you’re strong in because his curiosity is probably not going to be sated any time soon.
That is how you will make Shockwave realize you’re not an incompetent, slightly-less-than-sentient organic animal: through your intellect. If you talk about something you’re well-versed in, say history or science, he will realize your capacity for learning and knowledge and will then accept humanity as possessing potential - significantly inferior to his native Cybertronian race, of course, but still possessing potential. He’ll tell you about the things he’s working on, especially Project Predacon, but only if you ask. (Please ask, it’ll keep him occupied and will at least fill the tense silence that usually sits between you. [Not to mention his voice isn’t half bad…]) He’ll gradually grow accustomed to your feedback and, subsequently, your presence, and will eventually find that it would be extremely illogical for Megatron to hand you back over to the Autobots - you know too much, and thus would pose a threat against Project Predacon. He also points out that you show potential for intellectual development and that it would be logical, seeing as you do know so much about Project Predacon, that he could use your assistance.
Fortunately, his becoming attached used to your company would prevent him from conducting any…unsavory studies upon your person (he is rather fond of dissection as a means of studying alien species), though he would ask if he could take a few scans of your various systems (skeletal, nervous, circulatory, etc.). He’d find human biology and anatomy fascinatingly similar to Cybertronian and would go on and on about how it could possibly be connected to Unicron constituting your home planet’s core. (I genuinely hope you enjoy science, because it encompasses Shockwave’s entire mind. You’re going to be hearing a lot about it all the time.) You’ll inadvertently become his lab assistant, and though he won’t allow you into the major stuff he’ll let you help him out on little (but still important) things. (He’d even let you name one of the Predacons. Shh, don’t tell Megatron. Or Starscream. Or anybody, for that matter.)
Shockwave, being as that he’s not very in-tune with his emotional processors, will not realize how important you’ve become to him until it’s too late. When the Autobots take over the Nemesis and he and Starscream are forced to evacuate, he will leave you behind, for fear of you being viewed as a traitor to the Autobots due to your involvement with him. However, after the end of the war smooths out and Cybertron is relatively peaceful again, he will contact you through underlining and heavily encrypted channels.
Knockout
The most likely reason why you’re even involved with the Decepticons in the first place is probably due to Megatron or one of the others seeing you as a potential bargaining chip against the Autobots, whether you’re familiar with them or not. Due to this, do not expect them to see you as anything near their equal anytime soon. You’re just a squishy, disgusting vermin to them. But, depending on who Megatron deems to be your prison keeper, is how your fate might change.
Knockout, like Starscream, hates the very thought of having to look after a nasty organic such as yourself. You just…have so many alien fluids? Ew. He’d avoid touching you whenever possible, ignore you for the most part, and try to steer clear of your cage as long as he could before having to feed you. However, if you were to snip at him wittily or tell a joke of a certain caliber, then he would find that perhaps humans aren’t so unbearable or dull. He’d enjoy it if you had a fiery personality or dry wit/sense of humor, and would engage in banter with you just to figure you out.
Knockout would probably be the most well-rounded of them all in regards to seeing to your well-being, both physically and emotionally. Like Breakdown, he’d let you work it out against him (only verbally though - don’t touch his paint job, he just polished it), and like Soundwave he’ll ensure that you’re fed and watered at all times. He’ll even let you take baths in a repurposed energon cube filled with carefully tempered water (though it’s mostly so you won’t start to stink and get your grime/oil all over him). He’s also good with any injuries you may get, though he’ll make you clean it up and give you instructions on dressing it. He doesn’t want your organic fluids anywhere near him or his finish, but his methodical and thorough approach of walking you through the motions of doctoring keeps you from getting impatient or flustered. He would make for a very nice teacher, would you show interest in Cybertronian medicine or science (or anything else, really).
Knockout will grow relatively protective of you fairly quickly, seeing as you’re his responsibility and he doesn’t want anyone else taking the credit for taking care of you so well. However, his view of you will change as you become more familiar to him and he adjusts to you being the new constant in his life. He’ll soon discover that he genuinely enjoys your company and conversation, and though he may attempt to deny it to himself at first, he’ll eventually (and begrudgingly) admit to himself that you - and, subsequently, humanity - aren’t that bad. It’s nice to have someone around in the medbay when Breakdown isn’t there. And, if Breakdown is offlined while you are still under the Decepticons’ custody, Knockout will turn to you with his grief and confusion, seeking comfort and solace in the fact that he still has you. (Heartbreaking, perhaps, seeing as you might not be with him forever - but he blatantly ignores this glaring fact in light of having you there with him right then.)
Knockout, as he would gradually grow warmer towards you, would begin to tease you about…well, pretty much everything: being human, being an organic. He’ll start to ask you questions about humanity that he’d had for so long but had never had the opportunity to have them answered. He’s a naturally curious mech, and cultures - no matter how different - fascinate him. So, I hope you’re knowledgeable in at least on subject, because he’s going to be asking a lot of questions. After his curiosity is temporarily sated (he’ll always come up with new questions, though, no matter how long you’ve known him and how long he’s been on Earth), he’ll begin to flirt. It’ll be subtle, at first - pet names slipped into addressing you, little compliments hidden in your conversations. After a while he’ll even start to use pickup lines - and, boy, does he have a lot of them stored up. And don’t worry, these aren’t of the eye-rolling, groan inducing caliber - they’re actually good, actually seductive and playful and nearly guaranteed to have you flustered in two seconds flat. He knows how to manipulate his voice to draw a blush into your face, and he will fluster you incessantly until you break and confront him about it.
It’ll take him a long time to realize he’s in love with you, this thick-helmed aft. As sharp as he is, he can be as oblivious as anyone, and you’ll have to tell him directly if you feel for him before he becomes aware that ‘holy frag I love the human frag me I’m fragged’. After this, though, he’ll become noticeably softer towards you. He won’t tease you as much, and you’ll be in for some warm smiles and gentle touches. Cuddles might even be inbound, seeing as this big red baby is huge on physical displays of affection. He’s not so good with the verbal part, though, but if he experiences a near-death situation or he nearly loses you, all caution will be thrown to the wind and he’ll be babbling about how much he loves you and adores you and needs you in no time. He, like Breakdown, would heavily weigh his options in letting you remain on the Nemesis with him or give you back to the Autobots. The latter will win out eventually, however, even as much as he hates it and despite how much it hurts to let you go. But, no need to worry! He becomes an Autobot later (and, perhaps, it might have to do with his adoration for a certain little human being that goes by your name).
Megatron
It would seem that the Lord of Chaos himself has chosen to keep you as his pet. Unfortunately for you, it is highly unlikely that you will be treated well at all, so expect to lack consistent nutrition. He will at least keep you in somewhat of a private containment cell (probably a glass box/tube of some sort), most likely in his quarters or the medical bay or perhaps even a vault. He is unlikely to pay much (if any) attention to you, as he has many responsibilities to attend to, so either the Vehicons or Knockout will be attending to you. You're going to have a lot of time to yourself, any way you look at it.
I will be completely honest: don't fall for this 'Con. He's manipulative, he's mean, and he will most definitely use you to his advantage. I pray that you don't get Stockholm Syndrome with him, either (or any of the Decepticons, in all honesty). He will probably withhold you as ransom until there is something that he truly wants from the Autobots - perhaps a relic, or something of similarly high value. It is unlikely that he will develop any sort of feelings towards you (that is, of course, unless you either admit to understanding the Decepticons' ways or have a similar personality to a certain Prime). Stay strong, and, eventually, things will change.
If the evil lord were to develop feelings for you, however...you're doomed to remain with him for the rest of your natural life, probably. (Or at least until the Autobots come to stage a rescue). He's possessive and manipulative, as stated before, and would utilize the fact that he's the only thing keeping you alive on the ship to his benefit. He'd pamper you, however, always making sure you're never in want of anything that he could easily acquire. He would have you remain with him at all times of the day, however, either in his chassis compartment or riding on his shoulder (unless he was going off-ship, in which case you would remain in his quarters until he returned). He would not allow any of the other Decepticons to touch you, much less interact with you (though most wouldn't want to anyway), and would force you to promise never to ever attempt an escape, lest he would punish you severely.
Over time, however, as the fact that you're his, you're there and you're not going anywhere would cement in his processor, his overbearing and oppressive demeanor would gradually fall away to reveal a mech that hadn't been heard from in eons. Megatron would reveal that even he, too, is capable of gentleness and care outside of the duties weighing down upon his shoulders. His voice would soften around you, his touches mindful of your human fragility. His optics would dim and his rigid and stiff posture would loosen into something more relaxed - noticeable, after initially having to realize the difference. He would share things with you, like what it was like in the gladiatorial pits of Kaon and reminiscing about old friends and rivals alike. He'd share his secret passion for poetry and prose with you, even reading some of his old pieces to you. (If you were to write him something in return, he would fall that much deeper into his desire and longing for you.) It would take him a very, very long time to open up about his past with Optimus. He would lay bare his inward turmoil, the hate and the betrayal that he still felt as strongly as he had the day he and Orion Pax approached the Council of Cybertron.
He would realize, one day, with both shock and wordless wonder, that you were more important to him than he ever would've thought, could've anticipated. You were his anchor, his light, his calm in the storm. He would vow to himself, then, that he would not allow anyone or anything bring you harm. You are his, but - even more than that - he is yours.
Breakdown
Where Soundwave would at first be only attentive to your physical needs, Breakdown would be attentive to your emotional needs right away. If you're upset at being separated from your home, he'd let you beat it out on him. He'd feel sympathy for you, despite his ties to the Decepticons, because he'd think it wasn't right to use you for such extreme measures. However, he is in a war and under Megatron's command, so he wouldn't verbally protest it. (He might vent at Knockout about it, though.)
Breakdown wouldn't be the very best at attending to your physical needs, at least not at first. He's a rather forgetful mech, so don't feel as though he's trying to slight you, because he isn't. He's just not used to having to take care of a human, but once he gets into a rhythm it'll be smooth sailing. Knockout will be a big help to him, because he'll remind him to feed you at the appropriate times, even if they're in the middle of repairing another Decepticon. Knockout understands that a responsibility like this is important, though he may not be enthused about it, and the last thing he wants is Megatron's wrath falling upon Breakdown for such an unreasonable reason.
Breakdown's also probably the best one to handle an injury if you were to incur one - he's not too bothered by human blood/biology, besides the initial 'ew, they're alien and squishy and yuck', and will remain calm for the most part (if not concerned) while doctoring you. He's surprisingly gentle, for such a large and klutzy mech (not to mention he's rather aggressive when he wants to be), and if he accidentally pinches you or presses too hard he'll apologize profusely. He'll actually find your tiny hands and feet and overall smallness endearing, after a while.
Breakdown would probably be the quickest to fall for you, out of all the Decepticons. He's naturally a caring mech outside of his Wrecker-like work (see: his gentleness with you). The mech's got a big spark in that chassis of his, but he hides it because it's seen as a weakness among the other 'Cons. Knockout's the only one who knows about this side of him and has kept his secret well. You'll notice immediately when Breakdown's view of you changes, because he'll start to be gentler with you than ever, speaking softly and always having this warm expression on his faceplate and in his optic(s). He'll start asking about what your life was like before Megatron had captured you, listening intently and noting all the little ways you gesticulate or speak. He loves listening to you talk, and loves for you to tell stories even more. ("Humans can be so entertaining, Knockout - who would've thought?")
Any way around it, it would be a very healthy relationship. He'll always ensure your wellbeing, make sure you're okay, and though there are many things he can't do for you he'll try his damnedest. He'd spoil you as much as he's able and carry you around on his shoulder while in the medbay with Knockout. Friendly banter between the three of you would soon become commonplace. Breakdown also, surprisingly (or perhaps not), likes to cuddle. A lot. So as soon as you go back to his quarters, expect to be scooped up against his faceplate or chassis. Don't try to escape, too - you're trapped in his affection and he's not going to let you go any time soon.
Breakdown would get to the point where the very thought of harm coming to you would make his spark ache, and after some careful planning and maneuvering of schedules, he would contact the Autobots and stage an 'accident' where they could steal you back. He does not want you to fall victim to anything Megatron could do, so he would give you up to keep you safe, as much as it would hurt him. He wouldn't let you come back, either, as badly as he would want you back with him. Help this poor baby, he just wants the best for you. (He would seriously start considering changing alliances, after this - but Airachnid unfortunately puts a sudden stop such plans.)
Starscream
Starscream would hate to look after you, I'll just be blunt. He would despise the very idea, but this is just one more thing that Megatron dumps off on him. He would not be very likely to look after you and would probably, in turn, dump the majority of the responsibility on someone else (probably Knockout). However, if someone were to imply that Starscream wasn't capable of taking care of you, or questions his abilities, then he'd get his feathers ruffled and would then proceed to coddle you as noncommittally as possible. This is very probable, because Knockout would be the one to say such a thing.
Starscream wouldn't make an attempt to interact with you, outside of maintaining your water and food supply (which are old energon cubes, resized and repurposed. I sincerely hope he washed them out, else you'll get a nasty dose of radiation poisoning from the residual energon). However, if you insult him, it will most definitely get his attention (and ire). That is the only way he'll speak to you directly - to fling back insults to match the ones you direct at him. The only way he'll actually begin to regard you in a different light than 'hostage' is if you understand his struggles and trauma and attempt to offer mutual solicitude.
Starscream, were he to fall for you, would quickly prove to be the actual physical embodiment of a tsundere. He's gone through a lot in his life, and he's very distrustful and outwardly bitter due to it and his fear of rejection and being abandoned. It would take him a long time to accept his attraction/feelings for you, and longer still to even make an indication that he felt as such. He's extremely hesitant and uncertain, but will play it off by acting even more arrogant and cocky so as to not reveal his insecurity. He is very hypocritical, as I'm sure we're all aware. He would deny any fondness or attraction towards you with toxic vehemence shortly before whining about how you never pay attention to him. He's a Very Needy Baby™ and will be constantly seeking reassurance and affection when he's with you.
He would leave you in his quarters all day, not wanting to risk you getting hurt by any of those 'automated oafs' or 'barbaric brutes' that make up his fellow Decepticons, and would come in every night tired and angry and practically oozing ire for his life and everyone on the ship. He'd come straight to you, complaining and grumbling and whining all the way. He'd probably pluck you up in his servos and smother his face into you in an attempt to hide from everything outside, venting all the while. I'd figure out a way to get comfortable, because you'll be there a while. Comfort this poor baby, he's just trying to do his best.
It would tear him up inside if Megatron pawned you off to the Autobots - or, potentially worse, if you left/were rescued. You're the one thing that keeps him sane, and if he lost the one tie to happiness he'd found in centuries, then he's going to be fighting some Autobots in a last, desperate attempt to get you back. He might even offer a trade... (You still want that Forge, Prime? What about the Spark Extractor? Or both?)
REGARDING THE AUTOBOT/DECEPTICON QUIZZES I POSTED...
Apparently, there are still a few people who are under the impression that I created/wrote the "Which Decepticon Would Be Best Suited For You?” and “Which Autobot Would Be Best Suited As Your Guardian?” and wrote the quiz results.
I have stated throughout all four posts that I D I D N O T create these two quizzes and their results.
I simply found the two quizzes one day while I was searching Transformers related posts and thought they were the best made Transformers quizzes I had ever seen -- and wanted to share them with the TF Tumblr fandom.
I also only compiled the lists (x)|(x) of results in a post because some people requested that they wanted to read all the results.
Both quizzes link right back to the site they are on, and the compiled result lists link back to the creator’s profile. I would have credited them via Tumblr as well -- but it appears they do not have a Tumblr blog.
Vulcanlover12 is the creator of the two quizzes -- A N D T H E Y A R E N O T M E!
If you want to request something of theirs or compliment them on the awesome quizzes, they have a number of profiles.
Quotev
This is where the Autobot and Decepticon quizzes are posted || one of their more active profiles.
AO3
This is where they post most of their fanfiction (there are a few TF xReaders that I would recommend) || another of their more active profiles.
Fafiction.net
Has some Star Trek fanfictions (no Transformers ones though) || doesn’t appear very active.
deviantART
Posts drawings and other things (some TF-related) || appears semi-active.




