#transmission: memory

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

Red Alert is one of the only people I can completely relax around. Everyone is so loud, thoughts and emotions bleeding into me, crowding me out, I love my Cons so much but they’re so loud and I need to hold all of the pieces of myself in and it’s exhausting.

But Red Alert is silent. His thoughts are hidden and I can relax. I can let go of the walls. It’s freeing.

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

I am both the slowest and strongest mech in High Command.

this message brought to you by the memory i just had of literally having to carry Megatron off a battlefield so we could regroup

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

I suddenly got the strongest knowing about Flatline. they were a Pit medic. helped me build Rumble and Frenzy’s protoforms.

i wonder if they’re around.

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

i dreamt about early days last night. not long after Rumble and Frenzy got their protoforms. they were so soft. delicate. we had such rough hands. i don’t think Megatron had ever seen anything so small.

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

I miss my sparklings. They were the only thing that I loved more than the Decepticon cause. In the end they were why I was a Decepticon.

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

part of why i’ve been teasing out anatomy stuff is because so many of my memories are of either hurting mechs or being hurt by mechs.

for example: i know all my coolant systems, and usually my energon systems, run under higher pressure than is usual for a mech my size. part of how i know this is because i’m so heavily armored and enclosed in my armor that i need to work harder to keep my internals cool. part of how i know this is because i remember Sunstreaker cutting my fragging arm off and turning into a fountain of coolant from the shoulder before passing out from overheating.

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

Actually I’ve been getting a lot of memories of helping set up the first proper Decepticon propaganda circles. At first I was the only mech cutting together reels to distribute outside of Kaon. I found it a soothing reprieve from information gathering. But it really took off when we started getting archivists. There weren’t many. At least not many caste ones. We did get a lot of data sticks and cameras and cassettes with an aptitude for working with the information they collected. And they were easy to smuggle between cities. These were the first under my command, the beginning of the Decepticon Information and Communication Division.

[therevolutionwillbebroadcast]

me: hey how about we go through some happy memories to help with this anxiety?

my shit fucking brain: Let’s Remember How You Killed Some Anonymous Fucker By Stabbing Them In The Brain With Your Datajacks

me: great, thanks brain