City reflections
I’m writing during the return journey from my old home town. It always stirs up emotions as I view the smoggy city horizon fading in the rear view mirror. My elastic heart strings stretch as we drive away from my family becoming thinner with distance until they are so thin they break. This trip we spent special time with family and friends. Maintaining these connections and love is precious for me and particularly the boys, and also provides support for us - we even enjoyed some luxurious couple time. But there’s always people we don’t manage to catch up with and my worrying brain always reflects as we depart - did we make the best choices with the time we had, did we do enough for the boys and why do we always arrive on holiday tired and leave exhausted?! We roll through the lengthening suburban sprawl and new land releases. Each visit it takes longer to leave the city. “Resort style living!” Billboards proclaim, but there’s not a palm tree or beach in sight. I check my cynicism - it is possible resorts have changed, its been many years since I’ve been to one. Finally paddocks emerge, but this year there are scrawny sheep in over-grazed eroded fields under the confusingly hot autumn sun. The drought has a hold here.
The city was self absorbed as usual. Drowning in traffic and punctuated by construction. City living feels insulated to me. Compared to our off-grid forest dwelling where weather matters - sun brings power and rain brings drinking and washing water. In the city you don’t have to think about these things - your appliances are always poised for action. You can do anything you want to, at any time, so long as you have the means (although you may have to queue). But equally, no one cares if you do or you don’t. Potential or obscurity are there for you to choose, or collapse into. City life baffles me now, being so disconnected from the natural world, then being intensely close to people but also fiercely detached from them. Why the philosophical approach in this blog? I confess I’m not entirely sure! It’s time to write and these are my city reflections as we burn fossil fuel driving many kms home in our big 4WD - an acknowledgment to counter my developing environmental superiority complex.
I shared with family and friends news of our block situation, so I can now share this with you the reader. We have withdrawn our building application … due to a misunderstood technical issue. Completely our error and a very frustrating waste of time and money. A house build is years away. I used to hope for a home by the time I was 50, looks like I’ll have to postpone that a decade! We are now considering an investment property to help build equity. I’m confident it will all work out. Eventually. As previously blogged, we are content where we are. We love our land, our coastal life and our developing place in the community. A city visit reminds us why we moved as we return home to tall trees, clear ocean waters and soft sands. And to our veggie garden which keeps on giving, thanks to some neighbourly watering while we were away. Everyone can find their peace somewhere, I know where mine lies and I hope you have found yours.
