"Pulling your hair isn’t an inherently bad thing. It’s a coping mechanism that, while leaving aesthetic damage, usually isnt hurting you. The stigma around baldness and thin hair, especially for women and people perceived as women is largely what make trichotillomania feel like such a “bad” disorder. The societal expectation to have perfect hair and to be a certain type of beautiful is a heavy burden to carry, and if you don’t live up to those expectations you’re still valuable and important, with so much more to offer the world than another thick head of hair.
That being said, it’s understandable and admirable if you want to stop pulling your hair or learn how to manage the urges. But throughout the process, remember to be kind to yourself. You will slip up, you will relapse. You might go a week without pulling only to pull again on the 8th day. When this happens, recognize that an entire week or day or hour free of pulling is a massive feat. Try to reorient your goals. Instead of aiming to have a streak of days with NO PULLING, aim for a streak of days with reduced pulling. A streak of days where you pull less than 50 hairs, or whatever is a feasible goal where you are now. Aiming for days and days without pulling is setting yourself up for disappointment and failure, because slip ups will happen. React to these slip ups as if it’s your best friend. You wouldn’t tell them they’re failures, or ugly, or stupid. Neither are you."
- tip #19, Be Kind to Yourself from my Trich Tips booklet
