daydreams
its no secret that i often fantasize about my death and i always see the same thing an empty chapel save for a few people who came to cheer that i was finally gone came to laugh at the loser. but not this time this time the room was full one man there was angry and uncontrollable he started a fight and no matter how much they try to calm him down he doesn't.. he gets stabbed in prison another an elderly women silent face stern not showing what shes lost found dead in her apartment days later a lastly and most importantly a girl... a girl who didn't and doesn't believe anyone could love her and yet i do....as i lay in my coffin she cant stop crying for days no one can council her cause she wont listen to anyone anymore. you know what came next. for once i didn't wake from my dreams smiling for once i said as i sat up loudly and angrily ...i'm gonna fucking live. not for me not for living but for them...and all the others my dream decided to show me dieing because of me not being there for once my dreams were not my heaven