This is a little whiny. But I'm overloaded
I used to be a girl that loved school. I love learning and I love being around people, in that degree. (You know six hours a day, superficial stuff, perfect for me) But lately I hate school. I hate my classmates and the teachers are the only things that keep me sane half the time. I can talk more freely with them than I can most anyone, aside from my boyfriend and best friend. I just feel like I've had everything I love ripped away from me. I don't feel like I am anything to anyone. It hurts like a bitch, and it's not like I want to kill myself, I just want to leave and find more than two people my age that make me feel like I'm worth something. It's not even bullying, it's just the superficiality is getting to me. I've lost my place in what I thought I knew, now I feel like I'm just drifting around. I don't even have my shows anymore, I can't even get lost in that. I am holding out for lacrosse, so maybe that might just make me feel better. I doubt it though, because as bad as the kids in drama are the ones who are involved in sports are so much worse. They don't even care about me superficially. Even if I did die and they said nice things about me, it wouldn't be true for most of them because they never took the time to get to know me. Fuck this all. I just wish I had a show back. I wish I could lose myself in what a show brings, but no. It was taken from me by a man who doesn't even care about me, because he's too self centered and condescending and for the first time in a while, I may actually cry.