i 100% honestly feel like I'm losing control of my own mind today. Prolonged insomnia, anger at myself for not going to the gym when I am so exhausted I can't get out of bed, and my family irritating the crap out of me have all worn me out mentally. Like, mostly my family isn't really irritating, but I've been so on edge lately, so sleep-deprived, that I can't even control my automatic need to bite at them no matter what they say. And it's not fair on them, leaves me with a serious pit in my stomach, and this feeling of overwhelming emotions building up in my blood that only cutting will release.
I'm currently sitting in my room with my giant headphones on basically blasting out my eardrums and reading Sterek fanfiction to keep the feelings at bay.
But I'm just so shaky lately. God it's all upsetting, and it's affecting my weight, and in turn making me more on edge. I miss being blissfully peaceful and optimistic.