DXM 500mg trip report
Weight: 100lbs
Dose: 500mg DXM polistirex
May 14, 2020
9:00pm
This is when I drank the syrup. I measured out 500mg of the dxm (it was from a bottle of Delsym) and drank it straight.
9:30pm
I began feeling a little dizzy, but was still definitely sober. I decided to take a shower and wait for the come-up.
9:55pm
I was just waiting calmly at my desk for the effects to take place. Things around me started to feel blurry and slightly “not real,” like the only thing I had left was my mind. It wasn’t a very intense feeling though and I was still thinking very clearly and logically. Also my stomach began to hurt when I walked around. It was definitely more comfortable to just sit and chill out.
11:00pm
At this point things had started to kick in. I felt very light, and whenever I walked it felt like I had just walked off a treadmill. I felt very reserved and quiet, and would just sit in my kitchen and think to myself about my life and everything. Music felt very profound, and thoughts began swirling around in my head.
12:01am
I was definitely tripping. At this point all I wrote in my journal was “I couldn’t feel real if I tried.”
12:43am
A vibrating aura surrounded my body and made me feel extremely euphoric and disconnected from myself. Apart from that the high itself felt sort of like a mix of weed and alcohol, and my stomach still ached.
2:00am
At this point I smoked some weed. This is when everything changed. At around 2 in the morning I decided to go to my room and lie down, and whilst I was walking up the stairs I realized that nothing surrounding me was real. I felt like a lego person walking around in a lego house, or a doll in a doll house. Everything looked and felt so fabricated, and it was then that I came to the conclusion that this world was made to trick us and that we are living in the matrix. This revelation left me feeling slightly unnerved. Once I got to my room I layed down in my bed and started spiraling deep into thought. At this point the music I was listening to didn't sound as euphoric, but was still amazing to listen to and intertwined nicely with what was going on in my brain.
I looked at a small speaker next to my bed and realized that everything is a factal. I stared into it and saw the infinite dimensions that composed it, and it was actually very intense because as I was staring at it it felt as if my mind was being dragged inside of it and forced to pass through a tunnel if its multiple dimensions. Then, I took to contemplating. I remember asking myself "We think this is consciousness?" because I suddenly became aware of how unknowing we are of the universe that surrounds us, and began thinking and seeing beings and concepts much bigger and much smaller than I could otherwise ever concieve.
Now, this is the part that has stuck with me the most. I realized that we, as people, are not our thoughts, but our actions. Our thoughts are not real. As someone who has spent most of my life dissociating and trying to remove myself from this world in avoidance of the truth, when I truly understood this concept it kind of fucked me up. All the time I spent daydreaming and thinking of what to do was time wasted, was time where I truly did not exist because I was not acting. We are our actions. We cannot simply live in our heads forever because that is a life wasted, we are what we put out into this world, whatever this world truly ends up being.
Of course, like with every trip, I understood that everything is connected and saw particles interacting with eachother, and realized we are all the same, but this is nothing new. I also came to realize that this reality is not real, that nothing matters, life is thought, and some other things but eventually once I had gone through my revelations I was left with a slight but constant feeling of paranoia. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was the dxm or the understanding that we are being controlled and simulated, I am not sure, but the feeling was there. I also had some pretty bad pain in my kidney and liver areas, and it was extremely bothersome and paranoia inducing. I eventually fell asleep, and the next day I woke up earlier than usual, feeling refreshed (I will always be grateful for the dxm afterglow), but my body ached and I was very dehydrated. My back and right side hurt for the next few days, but now they basically feel normal again.
Honestly, I feel like this trip report is quite underwhelming, but I just can't put into words the amount of things I realized, saw, and felt during this experince. I was definitely bordering the 3rd/4th plateau and was in a state of dissociative sedation. This is kind of just a rough outline of what happened.
