anyways my dads on life support and my grandma called me sobbing abt it, cause she’s ready to pull the plug whenever it doesn’t look positive.
and this is the only thing in the situation breaking my heart. she begged me to forgive him before he goes, for myself and not him, so im not angry and resentful forever. and it’s like why shouldn’t i be? i don’t think or give a fuck about him unless he’s brought up or it’s fathers day lmao.
but why shouldn’t i be angry at the man who tries so hard to ruin my life? at least my mother abandoned me after extensive abuse then never contacted me again. (a whole other trauma!) but my dad coming in and out of my life, physically abusing me, while abusing me in every way possible scarred me.
wish he would have died sooner or actually fucking changed himself after the first time he was put into prison. literally before i was fucking born. hope he enjoys rotting and that my grandma can move past losing a child she couldn’t help but love
