#u:king

[strixun]

Dear future me,

Dear Future Me, I suppose I should ask all the cliche questions but I really only want to know one, are you happy? I guess I will find out. I hope so. I don't want to forget what happiness feels like, but I'm scared that I already have. Please be proud of me and the things I have done and will do. If no one else is going to be proud of me then I should be proud of myself. -Shixun

[strixun]

Outside of your brother, who is the most important person in your life and how did your friendship with them start?

"My room mate, Jaejoong-ge." Shixun's fingers fiddle with the edge of his sweater, as his voice grows shaky, "He- he found me in New York when I was at my worst. I try not to remember that night but I remember Jaejoong-ge before passing out. When I woke up I was in a hotel room, the first thing he heard from me was screaming but somehow he calmed me down. It's ... not a very pleasant beginning but I hope I've made up for it by now. But I can't be sure, so I'll always try to repay him." By the end of his story, Shixun's knees have curled up to his chest and he has Jaejoong highlighted on his phone screen. Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, he hides behind his hair as his thumbs tap away on his keypad. "I don't want to talk anymore."

[strixun]

What's the one thing you fear most in the world?

Fear. The power of it, what it can make me do, what it can make others do to me. I am afraid that one day fear is all I will have, that fear will make me forget how to make happiness. Pain fades with time, just like the scars, but fear is something that keeps coming back.

[strixun]

Truth: n. conforming with reality

Shixun never lies. He takes everyone's words at face value and doesn't understand how to lie or the reasons to lie. Because of this, he can easily be manipulate however if he discovers the truth behind someone's lie he gets overwhelmed. His mind cannot comprehend lying and by experiencing it, he will shut down.

[strixun]

krisilcavaliere:

{‘lets out a laugh and smooths down the child’s back with his large hand, carrying you down the street towards the nearest shopping mall.} I’ve never been too great with kids, so this will be an experiment for us both.

[B] Please don't mention experiments to a rabbit. [ -- pouting a little, copper eyes grow comically wide at the mass of people in the mall; tiny hands gripping onto your shirt tighter and drawing in closer, wanting to be under a sweater or somewhere safe. ] So noisy ...

[strixun]

roseatesoo:

{ `this time, he hears the honk and he can’t help but chuckle. } Bunny? I love bunnies. It’s making a rather odd noise, though! { `silently, he listens to your footsteps and then your next words, sitting rather dumbstruck for a moment before speaking once more. } I— really? Something.. important? You mean— you think little old Roseate is important! Th-thank you!

Couldn't imagine starting my day any other way. [ -- tucking the phone between his cheek and shoulder, he searches his fridge for breakfast. ] Am I taking too much of your time? I can call tomorrow.

[strixun]

[ — the all night search for Bae left him exhausted and distraught; having collapsed on a park bench hours ago, now a shivering mess curling into the damp cold of his sweater; mussed mess of chocolate hair poking out from the feeble swath of fabric; dulled, echoing, muffled noises of the day try to break trough the invisible cotton in his ears as the day breaks. ]

[strixun]

Slipping Control; Jaejoong&Shixun

Being sent home, Shixun's façade slowly disintegrated with every step he took towards the apartment; drawing closer to home made the panic rise to the surface. A previous mask of blank emotions morphing into frantic eyes, thick coated swallows of spit, and raw ripped lip that was continuously torn open to flood his mouth with tangy copper. Twitching fingers fumbled with his keys, and as the door unlocked his control clicked away.

“Jaejoong-ge?” Shixun tore through his mental walls as it hit him that he couldn’t hear himself. He felt his throat vibrate, he was speaking, but to him there was no sound. Voice wavering, he kept repeating himself, asking over and over again for his roommate; each utterance increasing with urgency and volume without him being aware until he was practically screaming.