#uk shenanigans

[ralfmaximus]

Four Seasons Total Landscaping steps up.

[rancid-butter]

Europe: and what do we say when we’ve messed up with Brexit and can’t see a way out?

UK: Boris for PM.

Europe: NO

[neomyth]

Had to shimmy past an old woman on a public bus today. Turned back to say "im sorry" and she was looking directly at me with this thousand yard stare.

Old Lady Margaret, please dont haunt me when you die, please don't curse eternal torment upon my mortal soul with your gaze🙏 i didn't mean to shimmy past you with my butt in your face so rudely. It was my stop, and you wouldn't move even after i asked, im terribly sorry. Deepest regrets.

Sincerely, me.

[wifeysforlifey]

So I apparently scared my Mum so bad yesterday with my crying from the time she got home to the time she went to bed (she missed the real hysterics after that) that today when she got home from work she took me to Asda and bought me Pick N’ Mix and Rekorderlig. 

Candy and booze. 

This is possibly the first time I have really enjoyed being an adult. Best. Feel better. Combo. EVER.

[wifeysforlifey]

- noise that sounds like the cat flap sounds loudly through the house -

(we have no cats)

Maz: *looks at me* O.O

Me: O.O *looks at her* I dun like it...

Maz: I dun like it either *gets up and cautiously goes out to investigate because she’s a good Mummy*

Me: O.O *looks for something to hit with, grabs a foam sword, follows her to the kitchen*

Maz: *goes out into the garden to look around, comes back in and sees the sword*... o.O What was that going to do exactly? 

Me: IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA IN THE MOMENT OF MY FEAR!

So there was nothing there. No stray cat in the house. No letters through the letter box. No one outside scrambling over the garden wall. No wind to make the letter box open. I swear to god if my best friend is haunting us I will never visit this house again! Not. Cool. Jess. 😡

UPDATE:

She’s taking the piss. Maz just got up to go take her tablets before bed and she grabs the foam sword and says, “I’m taking this just in case.” Haha to which I reiterated that it seemed like a good idea in the moment! She then laughs hard and says she wishes she had gotten a picture. THAT’S THE LAST TIME I TRY AND SAVE HER WITH MY EXPERT SWORDS-WOMAN-NESS lmao! 

[sgtjond]

My mom bought some pudding from a local polish market and it tastes like fucking cake batter. So fucking good.

[mynightinparis]

HEY Y'ALL! (okay, I know I never actually say that, but, bear with me)

So, it's my last day of vacation, and as you may or may not know, I am just wrapping up my spring break! (SPRING BREAK O12!) <-- (read: o'twelve)

Since I don't really have time at the moment (when do I ever) to post a ton of pictures from the UK and Paris (with the Parents) I thought I'd share a photo from our time spent out in Kent with friends, where, with the help of the other two not-so-adults in attendance, finally succeeding in... BREADING (one of) THEIR CAT(s)!

yes, yes, you're welcome. now, go click on the tracked tag. honestly, it will be the best decision of your day! (I've set up a click-through link so all you have to do to see EVEN MORE CAT BREADING is click on the picture!)

Xx Ian