#understanding grief

[authorissitohbi]

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of 'No answer.' It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, 'Peace, child; you don't understand.'

C.S. Lewis (2012). “A Grief Observed”, p.33, Faber & Faber

[solhwellness]

Tips to Understand and Navigate Grief | Solh Wellness

Emotional distress brought on by both significant and little losses causes grief, a response to loss. Even though mourning is frequently associated with severe emotional pain, knowing its historical background might be helpful.

Beginning in the 1200s, the word "grief" first entered the English language. It originally stood for experiencing pain, suffering, and adversity. The phrase comes from the noun "griever," which denotes burdens or sorrows, and the word "grief," which indicated misfortune in Old French. The Latin words "gravare" and "gravis," which imply to make heavy or weighty, respectively, ari where this Old French name got its start.

This historical evolution emphasizes the concepts of weight, anguish, and difficulty and draws parallels with how we currently perceive grief as an emotional torment that takes the form of physical symptoms. A common way that people express their sorrow is as a weight on their shoulders, a heavy covering over their hearts, or a deep, all-consuming anguish.

Today's society acknowledges mourning as a typical reaction to loss. The degree of the attachment or relationship that led to the loss is reflected in the depth of the grieving. It can be quite sad and frequently leads to changes that have a big impact on one's life when a loved one or close family member passes away.

Modern perspectives understand that grieving can be triggered by any substantial loss, not just those that culminate in death, despite the fact that historically death has been the primary cause of melancholy.

Grief can have many different causes, such as:

Employment decline

Due to isolation and social interaction

Miscarriage

Divorce

This period of time, known as the "empty nest," comes after a child has grown up and moved out of the house.

Issues with your health that limit your opportunities, mobility, or confidence

A diagnosis that will have an impact on the lives of you or a loved one

The passing of a beloved pet

The passing of a loved one

The process of coping with loss involves a variety of emotional, mental, physical, and behavioral reactions, all of which might differ from person to person and change over time. The terms "grief," "mourning," and "bereavement" all have various meanings in this situation.

Grief: This holds true for our reactions to losing something. It evokes emotions like relief or helplessness, along with shock, grief, denial, despair, and fury. You can experience uncontrollable crying because you may feel nostalgic for happier moments that have passed before the loss.

Mourning: the process of adjusting after a loss. Social standards, cultural customs, and religious convictions all have an impact on it. It necessitates changing daily routines and point of view in addition to adjusting to life without the missing entity.

Bereavement:This expression refers to the duration of sadness. It indicates the period of time when the responses and emotions brought on by loss are most intense.

Grief appears in a variety of ways:

Emotions:From astonishment, numbness, sadness, and rage to anxiety and melancholy, emotions can run the gamut. You could feel helpless, guilty, or relieved. It's possible to cry unintentionally out of nostalgia or longing for the past.

Thoughts:  Disbelief, fuzziness, and difficulty concentrating are all symptoms of grief. The loss of the deceased person may come up in conversation. People occasionally go through hallucinations or see things that others cannot.

Physical Sensations: Physical symptoms can include a tightness or heaviness in the chest or throat, as well as severe fatigue, nauseousness, headaches, and muscle tension. Your grief can be making you feel sick.

Behaviors: Grief can modify a person's behavior, causing them to become irritable or snappy, have irregular sleeping patterns, or lose interest in their interests. Changes in energy levels may cause anxiety or unusually high levels of activity. It might also affect a person's spiritual or religious experiences, leading them to reevaluate their convictions or gain a deeper comprehension of what matters most in life.

Self-care tips to navigate grief:

Acknowledge Emotions: You must recognize and categorize your feelings in order to heal. This clarity also enables you to share your experience with others and makes it easier to identify the appropriate rituals or practices to address the situation.

Prioritize Self-Care: After recognizing your emotions, schedule time for the required self-care. Reflection is the process of building relationships with oneself. Stay off of other people's paths and concentrate on what you need right now.

Embrace Change: Recognize how your needs and identity change as a result of a loss. Put away previous expectations, societal standards, and other people's opinions, and think about your current priorities. Pay attention to the issues that are currently most important to you.

Support Physical Well-being: Your mind concentrates power to aid in emotional recovery. Your grieving process will go more smoothly if you stay physically well. You should take pauses as needed, look for company when you're alone, refrain from using drugs and alcohol, and partake in happy activities.

Communicate Needs: Many people may find it challenging to support mourning family members. By outlining your demands, empower them. Be specific when requesting assistance. The phrase "I appreciate your offer to join, but I'll listen to music alone" will make it clear that you need some alone time. Instead, say, "Can we go for a walk together this afternoon?" to solicit participation. It promotes your rehabilitation and makes it possible for family members to travel with you.

Conclusion

Even among family members who are experiencing the same loss, grief is a very personal emotion. It frequently occurs in waves or cycles, with periods of time where things are more or less normal coming after periods of intense feelings that persist for several hours or days. As you get used to the loss, these cycles could get easier over time. Adjusting only means that, with time, you get used to grieving; it doesn't mean that you don't care about the loss. Dates like holidays or anniversaries could evoke sentiments of sadness, but by making an adjustment, you can view these events through fresh eyes.

Since we think that mental health is important, Solh Wellness has selected a variety of effective self-help techniques to improve your mental wellbeing. We provide a variety of services, including goal-setting, mood analysis, self-assessment tests, journaling, and access to a sizable collection of educational materials. Utilize our wide range of self-help resources to take control of your path to improved mental health and personal growth.

[informationzon]

How to grief loss.

Have you lost a loved one in death? We are going through a process of grief described better by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in On Death and Dying. In it, he mentions five stages that people go through — denial and division; anger; negotiation; depression, and ultimately acceptance. The dead, as well as their loved ones, go through these stages, though they are rarely at the same time and these stages are unpredictable.see more...

[patbertram]

Get Over It. Move On.

Get Over It. Move On.

I notice that my latest grief posts have an edge to them — not anger exactly; more like disapproval.

This aversion is not towards grievers — never toward grievers — but towards those who don’t understand, won’t understand, can’t understand, and yet still feel they have a say in how people grieve.

Not all comments from non-grievers are as appalling as the one that prompted my post a couple of days…

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[calliemm]

3/12/17 – It’s December already.

It’s December and with that comes another first. I don’t really know how I feel about the month ahead. Numb probably explains it best. I am going through the motions, getting things done and for the most part trying to feel normal, it’s a new normal but one I’m trying hard to create … even so it’s still difficult to feel anything really. The ability to laugh, enjoy the company of friends and find…

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[mikejentes]

Understanding Grief

Today, I did a heart wrenching funeral service. In preparation and in ministering to the family over the last week or so, I shared a booklet I wrote on Understanding Grief.  This outlines stages of grief, how to help those experiencing it (from the Book of Job) and also Bible Verses for Truth and Comfort.

In getting things together for today’s service, I realized I haven’t posted this helpful…

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[tjs195450]

Writing is Healing

After I wrote my post last night about Erasing the Invisible I felt ashamed. Upset with myself for not being like others who are more tough-skinned than me. I didn’t sleep well at all. In fact I was awake and couldn’t fall back asleep at 4am, so I got up, grabbed a cup of coffee and jumped online.

I read with great intent the answers that I received in my comment section about my latest post. The…

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[ramblingsofagirlgeek]

"The relationship between humans and their pets is often described by psychologists as a simple one—free of the complications that people experience in dealing with each other and full of unconditional love. This can often make the grieving process more intense when a pet dies."

My friend are encouraging me to see my psychologist and whilst I appreciate the well-meaning of their advice, I know exactly what the psychologist would say, because I've been seeing her for enough years that she's helped me through many deaths. "There's no normal grieving. Everyone grieves differently and you just have to let yourself grieve and let it run its course." Shio was my companion for almost half my life and got me and my father through our depression as well as stopping me from committing suicide. The impact he had on our lives and the absence of his presence in our home isn't something we're going to be able to get over in just a few weeks. 

I went through a low point over a week ago and that's just a natural part of grieving - depression. I recognised it and was able to get myself through it without my psychologists help because I persevered and reminded myself it was a just a dip - if the strength of the emotions lasted more than a week or so and I was avoiding going out, then I knew I would require help, but I've pulled myself back and I know what my limits are. And I also know that I need to take care of myself whilst moving forward - hence my applying for jobs, but not pushing myself too hard to get jobs at this point.

I understand how some of my friends can feel that I'm not coping well because my grieving is different and may seem intense to them. But after talking about it with others and rereading my research from uni, I feel that I am just grieving naturally and it's not at a point that I need to be concerned about it. I can engage in daily activities, get joy from life, do not feel numbed and still consider life worth living, even if the next few months seem difficult to get through.

I will keep an eye on myself, but I don't feel that I am doing badly enough to justify seeing my psychologist. I am letting my grief run it's course my way. But thank you to my friends for their concern and advice. It encouraged me to self-reflect as well as read some material that helped me a little.