#universal awkwardness

[mehoneybadger]

I have yet to encounter a culture or subculture to which my particular genius for social awkwardness could not rise to make itself manifest.

I open my mouth and toads. So many toads.

Not every time I speak, of course. I don't speak the words I know are toads. The problem is I can't always tell, so ... I find out when I notice people looking down and shifting their feet, and oh look there they are, hopping around and peeing on my shoes.