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Happy Friday you get BOTH
For Jim:
I almost feel silly writing this. But Walt said it might help. And at this point, I'm willing to try anything.
I miss my son. I miss Jim. This is the longest we've ever been away from each other. Although I guess technically there were the two weeks he was in the Darklands, but I don't really count that because I didn't know he was gone. I know I haven't always been the best mom to him. I was never involved in his classrooms, never made cupcakes for bake sales or made his Halloween costumes. And even though I know Jim never cared or said anything, I feel guilty now. I'm realizing how grown up he is, even if he's is still a kid. He's saving the world, sacrificing parts of himself to be what the world needs. And I'm his mother. I feel like I should be able to do something, to help him. But I don't even know where he is right now. How am I supposed to help with this? I'm still wrapping my head around everything. I should text him, but I don't want to be a bother. Or a distraction. I don't know. In hindsight it wasn't wise to do this after a glass of wine, but we're here now. I just hope Jim knows I love him. Tusks, horns, pointy ears, and all.
I don't know if this actually helped anything, but I do feel better now. A little. At least it's off of my chest so hopefully I can sleep.
-B
For Walt:
Well, it's been two weeks since I heard from Walter, so I think it's safe to say I've been ghosted (I think that's what it's called. Jim explained it to me). Which is fine. I wasn't even looking for anyone when he and I started seeing each other. It just sort of happened. But I really thought we had a good thing going. Wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about men though. And I'm sure it won't be the last.
Screw his stupid smile and dumb accent and green eyes.
I just wish I knew why. Was it something I said? Or was this always just a fling for him? Although he never seemed like the fling type. I thought older men were supposed to be more distinguished! more like UNstinguished.
But he could have at least written a half-assed text! Or sent an email. Apparently that is too much to ask these days.
Whatever. It's fine. I'm fine. Good riddance, right? Now I can focus on more important things. Like finishing this bottle of wine, putting on a sappy romance movie, and sobbing until I fall asleep.
Real classy, Barb. And you wonder why he left.
-B