we're only here to die (save me)
Original Characters
Rating: Mature
Content/Warning Tags: Abuse (past), Blood and Gore
10k words
Aiden crouched in an alleyway, watching the street ahead carefully. It was well past midnight. Most of the street lamps in this part of the city were burnt out, with the few that did still work illuminating dingy apartment buildings and abandoned, gated storefronts. The road was littered with potholes, the sidewalks cracked and dirty. Even during the day there was rarely any foot traffic in this neighborhood. Once the sun set, no one here was brave enough to approach the figures that lurked in the alleyways and shadows. Some people knew there were monsters here. Those who didn't still knew that anyone lurking around here was bad news. More than half the buildings had been completely abandoned, and half of those were condemned. The ones that remained used were populated by drug dens, addicts, and monsters. The dregs of society.
Aiden knew he was waiting for him to decide to move back in. Josh had offered his spare room repeatedly. He knew there was no way Aiden could keep skulking around abandoned neighborhoods, starving himself as much as possible to avoid harming humans. He hadn't pushed, though, instead finding other ways to help improve Aiden's quality of (un)life.
Still, whenever he dragged himself out of his dark, boarded up room, Aiden dressed in dark clothes. It was better to not draw attention to himself. An oversized black hoodie, the sleeves long enough to cover his hands and shapeless enough to hide his body. Dark wash jeans, ripped and torn from use, the hems ragged and dirty. The only thing he had that was new (at least, newer) were his shoes, a pair of black combat boots that had been gifted to him two years back. Two years ago, when he'd murdered his sire and ended up on the run, found by his old college friend when he was on his last legs. Josh had taken him in, found him blood to drink, helped him clean up enough to get by. Even after he broke down and tried desperately to push Josh away, terrified he would lose control one day, he hadn't gone. Instead he'd helped Aiden find a place away from humans, away from the temptation of clean blood, and then insisted on seeing Aiden at least once a week. He claimed that he was safe from Aiden, even though Aiden didn't believe him, because he had a vampire sugar daddy which put him in the unique position of knowing spells to keep him from experiencing dangerous blood loss.
Tonight had been one of those attempts. He'd set up a meeting for Aiden. It was something he'd been trying to do for almost a year now, claiming there was someone who sold ethically sourced human blood. Aiden had been stubborn, arguing that animal blood was working fine (it wasn't) and that he would never be hungry or desperate enough to drink human blood no matter how ethically the seller claimed to have gotten it. Finally he had gone behind Aiden's back and set up a pickup time for him. He'd passed along the address and meeting time earlier that evening when he'd come to check in on Aiden.
Technically Aiden hadn't decided if he was going or not. If he hadn't been surviving off of rats for the last month, he wouldn't be thinking about it at all. He was pretty sure something had moved into his building that was scaring away the animals. There had been a stench that he hadn't been able to place recently. It made his vampiric instincts flare up and put him on edge.
He pulled his brick-like burner phone out of his pocket to check the time. 30 minutes until the meeting. The address wasn't too far but it still meant leaving the comfort of his territory and entering a human neighborhood. He hadn't even scouted out the address for fear of running into a person.
His fangs ached and hunger gnawed at him, running rampant through his veins.
It was summer but he was so, so cold.
He looked at the time again and groaned, rubbing at his neck.
In the end, hunger won out. It always did.
The walk took him out of the dark, dilapidated streets that he was comfortable with and into a neighborhood with signs of life. If he got too close to buildings he could hear the soft shifting sounds of people moving around. Once or twice he was able to catch the sounds of a heartbeat. Steady and healthy. One apartment had its windows open, moans, blood rushing from exertion, and the smell of sweat assaulting Aiden as he walked past.
It would be so easy for him to slip in and drain them at the height of their ecstasy. Taste blood and sweat and sex all at once.
They should know better than to leave a window open in this part of town.
His fangs ached.
There were more street lamps and fewer shadows. Some windows were still lit despite the late hour. Aiden dug his fingernails into his palms, afraid to keep moving forward but too hungry to turn back.
After what felt like hours of torment he made it to the address Josh had given him. He slipped into the building quietly and buzzed apartment 204. The door buzzed once in response and he pushed it open. Not for the first time he wondered why he was able to get into apartment buildings without being invited. He suspected each unit had its own threshold, but hadn't had many opportunities to test that theory.
The inside of the building was nondescript and dim but otherwise clean. The hallway was just slightly too narrow for comfort. There was an uncovered window set into each end. Aiden wondered if they actually let much light in or if they were just for show.
Now that he was inside a building the sounds of life were more prominent. He dug his fingernails deeper into his palms and forced himself to breathe steadily. Despite the fact that he didn't actually need to breathe, it was calming. He felt so little nowadays other than cold and constant hunger. Breathing reminded himself that he had more than that, that he could feel more than that. It helped him quiet the ever-present desire to feed, to hunt and kill and taste warm, living blood in his body again.
The door to apartment 204 looked the same as all the other doors in the hallway, except for the light that was visible under the door and a dirty rainbow welcome mat that had been knocked slightly askew. The mat read “GO AWAY.” in black block letters. Aiden snorted softly. It looked like the lettering had been painted on by hand, the edges of the letters smudged and uneven in places.
Holding his breath, Aiden raised a hand and knocked twice.
There was a long moment of silence before he heard footsteps on the other side of the door. The deadbolt made a soft thunk as it was unlocked and there was the faint clink of a chain before the door opened. Warm light illuminated the room inside, brighter than the light in the hall but not as glaring. It backlit the man who had opened the door. Aiden couldn't help but glance at the smooth tan skin of his neck before focusing his eyes on his face. Aiden's thoughts ground to a halt. If he had a heartbeat he was sure he would have felt it stutter.
The man in front of him looked Aiden up and down once, dark eyes sizing him up, the faint red in them flashing when they caught the light. He was dressed casually in soft, dark sweatpants and a ratty black t-shirt. The sleeves of the shirt had been cut off, revealing two massive sleeve tattoos, the ink stretching all the way down his slender hands and crawling up his shoulders and onto his neck. His long hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail revealing an undercut that showcased more tattoos around his ears and onto his scalp. In a better, less fraught situation Aiden would have been happy to just stare. As it was, all he could do was dig his nails into his palms and resist the voice telling him how good it would feel to press this man against the wall and sink his fangs in. The man opened his mouth as if to speak and Aiden had to look down towards the floor, instinctively putting an extra step between them, but the tension was broken by a loud “mrow????” from next to the man’s feet.
A fluffy white cat with a permanently displeased look wound its way around the man's legs and looked up at Aiden for a moment before rubbing against his legs. He froze.
“Huh.” The man leaned against the door frame and looked from the cat to Aiden. “She doesn't usually like vamps.”
Aiden glanced up and met the man's eyes, flustered and a little afraid of this animal that had apparently taken a liking to him. The cat was so warm, he could feel her breathing and her heartbeat. This was the closest he had been to anything alive without the intention of killing it in years.
“You might as well come in.”
The man stepped out of the room to scoop up the cat, his hand brushing Aiden's leg, and then stepped aside. Aiden hesitated for a second and then stepped over the threshold.
He hadn't been somewhere so human in years. He had spent a few days in Josh’s apartment when he'd been on the run but hadn't been back since. The room was cluttered, little signs of life crammed into every corner and surface. A mug sitting on the coffee table, the pile of tall pleaser heels by the door, a desk set against one wall piled high with books. The furniture was all mismatched but something about that felt more comfortable than the perfectly matching and professionally arranged spaces that Aiden had grown up in. There was a large couch and a TV on a shelf covered in knick knacks. A show had been paused on the TV, nothing Aiden recognized. It had been too long since he interacted with things like TV shows and movies. Next to the window was a massive black cat tree. Further in Aiden saw a kitchen and a small hallway with three doors. He stood awkwardly just inside the doorway, unsure what to do in a space that was so full of life.
The white cat meowed and rubbed up against Aiden's legs again before depositing a fuzzy ball at his feet and looking up expectantly. The man watched the cat with a small frown before looking back at Aiden.
“She wants you to throw it.” He said finally, interrupting the standoff between Aiden and the cat. Aiden startled and then picked the ball up awkwardly. He tossed it towards the hallway and the cat bolted after it. When she caught up with the ball she grabbed it in her teeth and trotted back over.
“Cats play fetch?” Aiden asked, his voice a little hoarse from disuse. He barely even talked to Josh anymore, but he was always fine carrying the conversation by himself.
“Gremlin does. Not sure why.” The man said with a shrug.
“Oh.” Aiden bent down and threw the ball again. He looked around awkwardly as he straightened, rubbing at his neck. “Um. How does this work?”
“Your friend paid in advance. I have insulated bags if you have somewhere to store it.”
Aiden frowned, feeling his stomach tighten at the thought of just having human blood sitting around. In his part of town that was liable to just make him a target, not to mention he didn't trust his own self control.
“I don't even know how I would store it.”
“Then you have options. Grem likes you so if you play with her you can have a regular pick up time. Otherwise, talk to your friend.” The man shrugged. “For now I'll just give you enough for tonight. Figure it out and then contact me. We can arrange something.”
Aiden nodded, his brows furrowing. This was quickly becoming more complicated than he liked. “How do I contact you?”
The man leveled him with a look, his eyes narrowing in suspicious disbelief. “You have a phone?”
“Um. Yeah.”
“I'll get you a number to call.”
Aiden nodded, watching the cat bat her toy around on her own so that he didn't have to look at the man in front of him.
“How were you eating before?”
“Hunting small animals. Recently it's been mostly rats. That's why I…why Josh set this up.” Aiden rubbed at his neck again, his hands shaking a little. He heard the man sigh and looked up, fear joining the hunger coiling in his gut.
“Sit down.”
Aiden furrowed his brow further and had to resist the urge to step back. The door was in the way so he wouldn't be able to get far even if he did move. “No, I- I shouldn't.”
The man raised an eyebrow. “Gonna bite me?”
If Aiden could have blushed he would have. He shook his head quickly. “No.” His eyes flicked to the man's neck against his will and he shook his head again. “No. I just…should go.”
“Cute.” The man said with a smirk. “Sit. I'll be right back.”
He disappeared into the kitchen before Aiden could stop him. Aiden looked around the room, at a loss, before sitting down awkwardly on the couch. Gremlin immediately jumped onto his lap, curling up, a soft rumbling purr starting up as she got comfortable. Aiden sat there, frozen as the warmth from the cat seeped through his clothes. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this warm. He clenched his jaw against the hunger that was threatening to ruin the moment and refused to move for fear of dislodging the cat or worse.
The man returned after a few minutes, prompting Gremlin to get back up and investigate. He was holding a water bottle with a straw in one hand. Aiden could smell the blood even before he got within five feet of the couch. He felt his breathing grow heavier and more desperate, hunger gnawing and screaming. His vision tunneled.
Warm, slender fingers closed around his wrist. They were stronger than they looked, pulling him back. He growled, baring his fangs and the grip on his wrist tightened painfully.
“You're cute when you're desperate but I'm gonna need you to take a step back.” A low voice said firmly, the bones in Aiden's wrist creaking as the man’s hold continued to tighten. The voice shocked him back to reality and he took a shaky step. He had closed the distance between them without thinking but now moving away took every ounce of control he had. The man didn't let go of his wrist, instead pulling him back over to the couch. He went willingly, all his attention still on the blood. The man pushed him back onto the couch. “Try not to make a mess.”
The grip on his wrist loosened and he snatched the water bottle. None of the discomfort of drinking human blood or the silliness of using a straw mattered. All he could think about was the sweet, metallic taste that flooded his mouth. The warmth that spread with each swallow. A barely suppressed moan of pleasure left his mouth as he felt his body relax, tension replaced by a floaty vitality that he'd forgotten he could feel. It was like every inch of his body was buzzing with energy, his senses able to pick up the smallest sounds. The heartbeat of the man next to him, his breath, the creak of the building as the wind blew against it, the warmth radiating off the body beside his. His skin felt oversensitized. His limbs weighed nothing. The gnawing ache of prolonged hunger left, replaced by a satiated warmth that spread to his fingertips and left his skin flushed and alive.
His eyes had closed at some point. A low laugh vibrated through the air around him, lighting a fire in his gut that he had forgotten existed. He let his head drop back against the couch and blinked his eyes open, inhaling deeply. His head spun from the sudden return of energy and sensory overload.
The man next to him quirked the corners of his mouth up and raised an eyebrow. Aiden's gaze landed on his mouth first, wondering if it was as soft and warm as it looked, before dragging up to the man's eyes. The red in them was more obvious now and there was a flash of fang in his smirk. Aiden inhaled again, finally noticing the way the apartment didn't smell completely human. This man didn't smell completely human. There was something that he couldn't place underneath the warm spice and citrus and the faint musk of a living body that was so alluring and addictive to Aiden. He let his eyes travel over the man’s body, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“What are you?”
The man's eyebrow raised higher. “Interesting pick up line.” He said and Aiden felt his face grow warm. He tore his eyes away, ready to apologize, but was cut off. “I'm a dhampir. You can call me Ven.”
“A dhampir? I didn't think those existed.”
“There's not many of us.” Ven said, his voice clipped and tense. He shrugged and changed the subject. “I can see why Gremlin likes you.”
“You…can?”
“Never seen a vamp practically start purring while they fed.” Ven's smirk turned teasing and Aiden wanted to bury his face in his hands. “So do I get to know the name of the guy currently blood drunk in my living room?”
Aiden wished he could turn into mist and just float away. He couldn't decide if he was embarrassed by the teasing or turned on. The smirk was deadly, especially now that his hunger was satisfied. Where there had been a cold emptiness in his gut he now felt a growing warmth. “Aiden. Sorry. I don't uh, get out much.”
“That much was pretty obvious. It's unusual for a fledgling to be left to fend for themself, not to mention having a human friend who cares enough to help them find blood.”
“I'm not a fledgling.” Aiden snapped, some of the tension returning. Ven frowned, eyeing Aiden suspiciously again.
“Huh, okay then, why's a fully fledged vamp on a starvation diet of rat blood? Sire abandon you?”
“Why do you have a problem with a vampire that doesn't want to hunt people?” Aiden shot back, flinching unconsciously at the mention of his sire.
“I don't, but most vamps that give up human blood still keep the instincts and control they learned while hunting. You don't have those.” Ven pointed out and Aiden grew more tense, the comfortable floating buzz pushed out by anxiety.
“I was never taught those. I was only turned so I'd be more fun to torture.” Aiden snapped before he could stop himself. “I don't hunt humans because I can't.”
Ven looked taken back, his left hand twitching as something flickered in his eyes. There was a tense moment before he nodded once. “I see.”
Aiden rubbed his neck and took a deep breath. “My family was in debt to a vampire overlord out east. I was sold to pay it off. He had certain…preferences.”
“Had?”
“He's dead.”
The silence that followed was tense. Ven opened his mouth as if he was going to say something and then closed it, his hand twitching again. Aiden rubbed at his neck and then set the water bottle on the short coffee table.
“I should leave. How much blood did Josh pay for? I don't need it.”
“Don't worry about that. Come back tomorrow, you can feed here.” Ven said as Aiden stood up. Aiden started to shake his head and then caught sight of Ven’s eyes on him. He followed Aiden to the door and leaned against the door frame. “Can I see your phone?”
Aiden frowned and fished it out of his pocket. Ven quickly typed in a number and handed it back, a small smirk on his lips.
“Call me, we can work something out.”
Aiden blushed, hard. He tried to avoid Ven's gaze by looking down at his phone. There was a new contact listed under the name “Vengeance.” He nibbled on his lip as he tried to keep himself from blushing again.
“I'll think about it.”
Ven sighed softly and then shrugged. “Have a good rest of your night, sunshine.”
Aiden nodded, his face growing warm as he processed the nickname, and then smiled nervously at Ven before he left, trying to move at a regular speed that didn't give away how much he wanted desperately to come back. Vengeance was attractive and interesting and something about him pulled at Aiden. It made him want to forget to be careful. It made him want to forget how dangerous it was to be around anyone living. It made him want.
-
Tonight was slow. Not many pickups, technically he didn't have to be awake, but something kept Vengeance from sleeping. He hadn't been able to get Aiden out of his head since the other night. He'd never let a vampire stick around when they came to pick up, and he definitely didn't know why he'd given out his personal cell phone number. They had a burner phone for this stuff. He'd been kicking himself about it all day. He should know better than to get so comfortable with a vamp. Something about Aiden felt different. Different was bad. Different made him stop thinking straight. But Gremlin seemed to like Aiden and that had made Vengeance let his guard down.
When he didn't get a call, he wasn't surprised. He was just disappointed. He muttered curses to himself as he worked on a mindless freelance job. Getting his hopes up, getting involved, when the other party was a half-feral, starving vampire made his paranoia scream and the voices in his head wouldn't stop.
He's going to kill you. You're not worth a real relationship. He'll just use you.
He'd already checked the locks on the door five times since the last pickup of the night. Rosie wouldn't be home for an hour or so yet. Vince had class in the morning and then an afternoon of blood donations. It was just him, stuck with his thoughts and his mind driving him insane as he tried to work.
They still needed some kind of taxable income after all. Didn't need anyone asking questions that didn't have legal answers.
It had been three days. Long enough for the starvation to kick in. Animal blood would only hold it off for so long. It was something Vengeance was unfortunately familiar with. He didn't need blood to survive but he had spent too many years being kicked around and had had to heal too many injuries. He had experienced the kind of gnawing bloodlust and hunger that came with starvation.
Vengeance gave up trying to work and flipped through the shows he had been watching the last few nights. He grabbed the weed pen off the coffee table as he scrolled, hitting it a few times and intentionally refusing to look at his phone. It was pathetic for him to sit here and wait for a vampire to call him. Even if the vampire in question was just the right combination of cute and sexy. And had checked him out while blood drunk on his couch. And had made the softest, most tempting little sounds as he fed.
Fuck.
Was he really this desperate? He couldn't remember the last time someone had occupied his thoughts like this.
His phone buzzed, startling him out of his half-aroused recollection of Aiden's rumbling, satisfied noises.
It was a message from an unsaved number.
Vengeance frowned and immediately shot back a question mark followed up with “who is this? how did you get this number?”
2:24am
can I come by?
The response took a few minutes. Vengeance tried to keep his thoughts from spiraling out of control as he forced himself to stay seated, despite the nearly overwhelming urge to check the locks and windows.
“Fuck.” Vengeance muttered as he replied “yes,” his paranoia joined by an antsy excitement in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't quite contain himself as he waited. There was no response. He got up to find something to do, feeling twitchy and not quite real. He made a new cup of tea. He grabbed a blood bag from their mini fridge and, after a second of thought, placed it in a bowl of hot water to warm up. It was only when he had settled back into the couch with his fresh cup of tea that he realized it had only been 15 minutes.
2:29am
aiden
He turned on a mindless show and sat with both hands on his mug to try to control his twitch.
There was a reason he didn't go anywhere. Why he stayed holed up in the apartment ninety percent of the time. People were bad for him. They introduced instability that made his delusional paranoia worse. He was sure one of the many therapists he'd seen over the past twenty plus years would have a diagnosis or three for him. Explanations for why he felt like he had been hit by a truck of feelings when he saw Aiden for the first time. Ways to keep himself from growing too attached too quickly to the bloodthirsty monster that flushed pink at the slightest bit of flirting and probably had enough baggage to fill the entire apartment. Reasons why he hadn't been attracted to anyone since his wife left him, why they'd only been married two years before it fell apart, how that explained his current attraction to Aiden.
He cared for none of it. He knew this was bad, that it would end badly, that it was never going to be a good idea to let Aiden get close to him. None of it changed the fact that he was going to let it happen anyways.
Vengeance was interrupted from his frustrated rumination by a soft knock on the door. It was the same way Aiden had knocked last time. His heightened senses could tell who it was from the way his clothes sounded when he fidgeted on the other side of the door and the musty scent that clung to him from wherever he was living. It wasn't an unattractive scent. It mingled with the slightly intoxicating scent of a happy vampire when Aiden fed in a way Vengeance had spent entirely too long thinking about. Sweet and earthy. It made him want to know what Aiden smelled like when he wasn't surrounded with the scent of neglect and dust.
Gremlin beat him to the door, nosing it open all the way as soon as there was enough space for her to squeeze through. She rubbed against Aiden's legs as he smiled nervously, hunger evident in his eyes and tension in his shoulders. Underneath it all was the otherworldly beauty of a vampire mixed with naturally soft features and fluffy blond hair.
Aiden wore the same aged hoodie and pants that he had been in the night before. It made Vengeance worry. Vengeance guessed that underneath the oversized clothes was a body that was far too much bone and not enough life. He seemed to have a permanently hopeless and terrified air about him. His eyes crinkled a little bit when he smiled, not quite as taken back by Gremlin as he had been last time. He hesitated before reaching down to pet her behind the ears. Vengeance felt himself smile without meaning to and cursed himself in his head. He really was an expert at developing unattainable, unhealthy attachments to people he should stay away from.
“Sorry for coming on such short notice. I know you probably didn't expect this. I…” Aiden looked up from petting Gremlin and his voice trailed off. He spoke softly, his voice a little higher than Vengeance would have expected at first. It was a little hoarse and raspy, as if it didn't get used often. Vengeance found it deeply attractive.
“Don't worry about it. Come in. You look hungry.” Vengeance said, trying to ignore the way Aiden rubbed at his neck nervously and hesitated before stepping through the doorway. He hovered by the door while Vengeance stepped into the kitchen to pour the now-warm blood into a water bottle. He tried not to think about explaining to Vince why he now had a dedicated blood water bottle. He could hear Gremlin’s demanding squeaks and meows as she herded Aiden to the couch.
Aiden watched him with unblinking eyes as he crossed the living room with the bottle. One hand was clenched on his thigh, the other on the arm of the couch as if holding himself back. His impatience was clear in his eyes, though. Clearly it was taking every ounce of self control to stay where he was.
His hands shook as he took the bottle in both hands, nails like claws scraping along the inside of Vengeance's wrist as he grabbed it. Vengeance barely felt anything as he watched Aiden's eyes flutter closed with a relieved moan.
It was just as intoxicating to watch as it had been the first time. A light flush spread across Aiden's cheeks and he took on a more human appearance. As the blood drunk haze settled on him, he radiated satisfaction. A drop of blood escaped as he neared the end of the bottle, running down the straw. His tongue darted out to catch it, stained a vibrant red against his sharp white fangs. His eyes opened and he dropped his head against the back of the couch, looking over at Vengeance with a soft smile. His eyes shone a bright, piercing red, as if they could look through Vengeance to his soul. He ran his tongue over his fangs as he smiled. Vengeance wondered if he realized he was doing it.
“Thanks.” Aiden said, his voice less hoarse now. “I really am sorry. I'm not good at…wanting to feed.”
“It's easier to control if you aren’t starving.” Vengeance pointed out, realizing he was still standing by the couch. He covered it by holding a hand out to take the bottle back. Aiden hesitated but then handed it over. He went to the kitchen to rinse the bottle. Aiden was still watching him when he returned to the living room. It was a little unnerving. A reminder of Aiden's predatory nature. Vengeance settled on the other side of the couch and watched Aiden scratch behind Gremlin's ears.
“I don't know how to feed without guilt.” Aiden said after a moment, his eyes finally flicking away from watching Vengeance. “I think I've killed people but I don't remember it. I was never in control when it happened. I only remember the blood. It's hard to…not think about that. This is different, though. More comfortable.”
“Your sire sounds like a real bastard.” Vengeance snarled, letting more rage show than he realized. He didn't notice until he saw Aiden tense up and then nod silently. “How long since you were turned?”
“It's been six years.”
“So your humanity is still recent memory?”
Aiden nodded, rubbing at his neck with one hand. “I've been on my own for two years now. Still haven't figured out how to get used to living around humans.”
“I've been around them my whole life. I never figured it out either.” Vengeance said with a shrug. He was fairly certain he wouldn’t have ended up much different as a human but being a dhampir didn't help anything.
“Is that why you do…this? Sell blood?”
“Mostly, yeah. I sold all kinds of drugs in high school, selling blood to vamps isn't that much different. My roommate handles all the human interaction, he's a med student. I handle the vamps.”
Vengeance could feel his paranoia starting to rear its head again. Too many personal questions. At the same time, he liked Aiden more and more the longer they talked. He didn't seem as on edge this time, the blood haze making him relaxed and talkative.
“Are you sure this is okay? Me coming here to feed?” Aiden asked, fidgeting with the edges of his sleeves.
“Cute boys are always welcome here.” Vengeance said with a wink and a smirk, letting the flush in Aiden's cheeks override his paranoia for a short moment. “If there's ever a night you can't come over I'll warn you.”
Aiden nodded, his eyes back on Vengeance, watching carefully.
He stayed for longer that night, Gremlin curled in his lap. He kept his distance from Vengeance, still clearly uncomfortable with something, but there was a relaxed alertness to the way he watched Vengeance. It was a little predatory but cute, the same way Gremlin watched a toy when she was too tired to hunt but wanted to keep an eye on it. Vengeance wondered if he was broken beyond repair for thinking it was cute.
-
It had been a week since Aiden had been to Vengeance's apartment. One terrible week. The slow drag of starvation was worse now that Aiden knew what it felt like to be full, to be able to ignore the craving.
The fourth night he had walked from his dark, dusty corner to the old neighborhood where Vengeance lived he had even started to let himself hope there might be something more to his existence than constant, gnawing hunger. He had started to hope there was warmth somewhere, that if he just held his hands out he could grasp it. It was different with Vengeance. He understood the bloodthirst, he knew what it was like to not be human. Aiden had begun to relax around him. The easy flirting helped, the idea that maybe he wasn't unwanted, unlovable and lost. Aiden knew it would be impossible to ever act on his feelings but even so, they grew stronger with each moment he spent in the warmth of Vengeance's company. He was so unlike anyone Aiden had ever known, his edges so clear and sharp and yet Aiden was drawn to them. Before he had been turned, before he had been sold to a vampire and had only known the sheltered lifestyle of a rich family, Vengeance would have scared Aiden, but now he was a breath of fresh air. It was the first time Aiden had ever felt like someone saw him, not the girl he had pretended to be and not his status or his parents' money. Every time Vengeance flirted he felt buoyed by a euphoria he had only experienced a handful of times in his life.
He should have known it was more than he deserved.
It had been a week since he caught sight of the hunter following him. He'd abandoned his room, spending each day in a different spot, hiding from the sun, unsleeping. He'd been too afraid to even feed on animals in case it left a trail. His phone had died on the second night. With no way to contact anyone and no way to know if it was safe, he skulked between abandoned buildings so old and decrepit they were practically rubble, far from his own territory. There was so little alive here that every small rodent and bird became a feast of temptation. He wouldn't survive long like this. He just had to hope to lose the hunter before he became a mindless monster.
Three days ago he had gotten another glimpse of the hunter, but it had been quiet since. He watched the sunset through the collapsed ceiling of the room he had weathered the daylight in. He had pulled his hood up, his hands tucked into his sleeves for fear of catching a sliver of sunlight through the rotting boards of the walls around him.
Aiden had to move on tonight, find a different part of the city to hide in. Too long in one place would make him too easy to find. He rubbed at his neck, steeling himself to walk through inhabited areas, his fangs aching at the thought of all the people, all that blood. Sweet and life-giving and delicious. It would feel so good, plunging his fangs through soft flesh and letting blood fill his mouth, sweet and wet as it slid down his throat. He would feel so much better.
Better yet, lure the hunter out and feed on them. Drain them dry and leave their body to rot in the sun.
Aiden squeezed his eyes shut and dug his fingernails into his palms to shock himself back to reality. His control was slipping. He needed to feed. Even just a little blood would help stave off the descent into mindless bloodlust. A rat or mouse, small enough to hide so the hunter didn't find him. He just needed a little blood and he would be okay.
The last of the sunlight dipped below the horizon and Aiden picked his way out of the collapsing building. It had been too long. His senses were dull. Every heartbeat around him was the same. They all promised him warm blood. It was impossible to know what kind of animal it was now.
He would just choose one and hope. No time to be picky now.
A thin cord wrapped around his throat, burning as it tightened, and he was shocked back into reality. The heartbeat behind him was human. The cacophony of beating hearts he had been lost in had drowned it out but now it was crystal clear. Aiden darted a hand up, grabbing the wrist of the person behind him, the silver cord cutting through his neck as he wrenched the hunter off of him. He heard bones crack under his grip. There was a grunt of pain and the cord loosened, letting Aiden slip free.
Dark blood spilled out of the cut in his neck, soaking into his clothes. He could smell burning flesh. It was healing too slowly.
The hunter didn't let him get his bearings, lashing out quickly with a knife. Aiden dodged, the tip of the knife catching on his sleeve and scraping against his skin. It left a long, red, blistering welt on his skin. He hissed in pain and moved backwards.
He should have been fast enough. No human should have been able to match his speed, but the hunter seemed to be able to know his trajectory. They threw something out and it smashed against the rubble behind Aiden. Water hit his sleeve and burned as it touched him. The fabric smoldered as it caught fire from the burning heat of Aiden's skin. He grabbed the shoulder of his hoodie and ripped the sleeve off, tossing it away frantically.
None of his wounds were healing. His arm was covered in blistering burns. He raised a hand to shield his face as another container headed for him. It shattered and doused his arm in burning water. He couldn't worry about where it was soaking into his clothes anymore. The hunter was advancing quickly, striking with the knife again.
Aiden couldn't avoid it in time, feeling the metal plunge deep into his abdomen, hitting his ribs and burning.
Clearly this hunter was experienced. They had no shortage of consecrated weapons. Aiden grabbed their arm and pulled them closer, hoping to unbalance them. He could feel their shoulder dislocate and used their momentum to throw them against the rubble behind him.
The hunter didn't let go of the knife and it slid as they moved, cutting a deep gash in Aiden's chest. They twisted in his grip.
Aiden was briefly impressed that they could remain standing with a dislocated shoulder and broken wrist. And then they kicked, making solid contact and shattering his kneecap. He could hear the bones break and feel them sluggishly try to knit themselves back together. It was excruciating.
Something in the hunter’s shoulder tore as Aiden swung them into a wall with the last of his strength. They slumped down, breathing heavily, and Aiden ran.
He shed his hoodie as he went, his run turning into a pained limp when he could no longer sense the hunter near him. His vision was blurry from pain, every spot that a weapon had touched blistering and burning. He pressed his hoodie against the gash in his chest, biting his lip to keep from crying out as holy water touched his torn skin. He had no sense of where he was going, just that he had to keep moving, even as his vision blurred from pain. He had to keep moving or else he would stop to think about all the heartbeats around him, all the blood. He had to keep moving or else he would lose control.
He reached a building and pulled the door open forcefully. He tried the second door, tugging a few times before the hinges gave way. He knew there was blood here, and safety.
He dragged himself to the second floor and leaned heavily against the door of apartment 204.
“Ven?” Aiden called, something in his throat burbling uncomfortably and wheezing when he spoke. He swallowed and tried again. “Ven? Are you there?”
There was a meow from the other side of the door and then the sound of the deadbolt. Aiden nearly fell as the door swung open. He caught a glimpse of Vengeance, face ashen, before he collapsed. The hoodie dropped to the ground as Aiden stumbled forward two steps and fell inside. Warm arms caught him, his head knocking against Vengeance's shoulder.
“Fuck! Aiden?! What happened?” Vengeance said, his voice close to a growl, cold rage evident in his voice.
Aiden slid an arm around Vengeance's waist and shifted so that his face was pressed against Vengeance's pulse point.
“...smells so good.”
“Aiden??? Fuck, you're bleeding.”
“Hunter…found me…” Aiden tried to explain but it was taking everything he had to not bite down. He could smell Vengeance's blood. He could hear the soft whoosh of his pulse as his heart rate increased, the fear and rage adding to the sweet scent of blood and the smokey, tantalizing scent of something deliciously nonhuman about it. Aiden felt drunk from proximity alone. He nuzzled against the warm skin, darting his tongue out to taste.
“Aiden, you have to let go, I can get you blood.” Vengeance said, his voice shaking. Aiden didn't know if it was from fear or arousal. He could smell both. Aiden backed him into the wall and inhaled deeply. He braced himself against the wall, his other arm still tight around Vengeance.
“Want you.” He said with a soft growl and he could feel the shudder that went through Vengeance's body. “Ven, please.”
Fingers ran up into his hair and held him still, Vengeance's breath caught in his throat. He pressed his body closer instead, as if he could meld with Vengeance, intoxicated by the warmth radiating off of him. Aiden pressed a shaking kiss against Vengeance's throat and nosed up to his jaw, lost in the line of his neck.
“I can make it feel good.” Aiden said, nibbling with blunt teeth at Vengeance's earlobe. Vengeance's breath hitched again and he nuzzled closer.
“Fuck.” Vengeance breathed, the scent of arousal in his blood growing thicker. “Fucking vampire. Fuck. Yeah.”
Aiden buried his head in the crook of Vengeance's neck, his need barely contained. It was so close. Vengeance was here and warm and full of life and his blood was so, so close. The fingers in his hair tightened as Vengeance's breathing sped up, no longer shaking but instead insistent. Aiden couldn't help growling in anticipation, low and deep in his chest.
“You're purring again.” Vengeance said, his voice breathy. “Fuck, Aiden, you…”
Whatever Vengeance was going to say was cut off by a gasp and then a low whine as Aiden bit down, fangs puncturing through flesh. Blood rushed into Aiden's mouth faster than he could swallow it down. He pressed against Vengeance, slotting their legs together and digging his fingers into his waist. His other hand moved to pull Vengeance's head to the side as he fed.
Every inch of his body was on fire, warmth flooding through him and then gathering deep in the pit of his stomach. He was drunk on the sounds pulled out of Vengeance's mouth as Aiden fed. His blood was like nothing Aiden had tasted before. It filled every sense, magic and strength crackling through his body. He felt as if he had come back to life, the hunger satiated and yet the craving lingered. He wanted to be closer, he wanted to feel Vengeance's skin, taste his blood mix with sweat and pleasure. He moaned and ran his hand down Vengeance's side to push under the waistband of his sweatpants and dig his fingers into his ass. Vengeance's head dropped against the wall and Aiden pulled his fangs out, lapping at the puncture wounds and watching them close up. He pressed his lips against Vengeance's jaw, leaving bloody marks everywhere he kissed.
“I want you.” Aiden said, grinding his hips against Vengeance's thigh.
Vengeance looked at him through glazed eyes, a soft smile on his lips, and Aiden forgot everything except this man, surrounded by the taste and smell and feel of him. He forgot the wounds that were still healing, the blood that soaked his clothes, the danger he was in. Vengeance tilted his head and caught Aiden's mouth in a kiss, his tongue coaxing Aiden's lips apart to lick blood from his mouth.
Vengeance pulled away much too soon, his breathing heavy. “You're hurt.”
“Not anymore.” Aiden retorted, the blood drunk haze urging him forward without shame. He leaned down to lick a stripe through the blood on Vengeance's neck and nibbled at his collarbone with blunt teeth. He shifted his knee that was pressed between Vengeance's legs and smiled against his skin at the way Vengeance's breath turned to a moan.
Vengeance tilted his head up and kissed him again, mouth still stained with blood but chaste and tender until Aiden pressed his hands into his lower back and the kiss deepened, Vengeance's tongue teasing against the points of Aiden's fangs. Aiden growled softly, his fingers digging into Vengeance's back. Vengeance gasped and nipped at Aiden's bottom lip. Aiden could feel the sharp points of his canines, his fangs less prominent but just as deadly. Aiden could feel the urge to take and possess and mark building in his gut, scratching his nails up Vengeance's back slowly until he could smell blood. Vengeance's next gasp was pain, not pleasure, and Aiden pulled back quickly. He tried to remove his arms from around Vengeance but was caught and held in place, Vengeance breathing heavily, his eyes half-closed.
“Don't. Stay. Please.” He managed in between pants. Aiden bit his lip, guilt and shame hitting in full force.
“I-”
“It's okay, sunshine.” Vengeance smirked, his eyes still glazed over. “It's good.”
“I need to…I need to clean up. I can't do this.” Aiden said, shaking, the room around him going fuzzy as his breaths became faster.
“Let me clean you up.” Vengeance said, his voice low and raspy. Aiden stopped moving all at once, reality struggling to reassert itself. He let go of Vengeance as if burned, his arms crossing in front of his chest. “Aiden?”
The smell of blood overwhelmed him. The power that coursed through him. His bloodthirst sated, hands holding him in place, the smell of arousal and sex. He could hear Nick in his ear, his voice reverberating around Aiden's head.
You're all mine. Your blood, your pain, your body. All of it.
Look at the mess you made. You can't control yourself. That's why you need me to control you.
He could feel himself held, pressed into hard concrete, damp with blood, Nick pressing between his legs. He had just killed someone. He had drained them, ripped their throat out, and Nick had watched it happen. He had enjoyed it. He could feel it with each roll of hips against his.
“...den? Aiden?” A panicked voice said, fingers touching gently against his face, over his shoulders, unclenching his fingers slowly just for his hands to tighten again. Aiden could hear someone sobbing, broken, guttural wails that stuck tight in his chest.
Hot tears hit his arms and were brushed away by the slender fingers that couldn't stop moving over him.
“Come back to me. Aiden, sunshine, come back.”
The person sobbing was him. He was curled on the floor, his knees pulled into his chest, gasping through sobs. The smell of blood lessened, the feeling of Nick on top of him fading. A warm hand brushed his hair out of his face, caressing gently down his cheek. He leaned forward and fell against a warm body, his head buried in Vengeance's chest. His fingers grabbed tight to the fabric of his shirt, seeking refuge in the sound of his heartbeat and his breath. Vengeance seemed to hesitate for a moment before wrapping his arms around Aiden protectively, one arm holding him tight while the other ran slowly up and down his back.
It felt safe and warm to be held like this and Aiden collapsed further, Vengeance's arms the only things keeping him from falling apart completely. Vengeance murmured gentle reminders in his ear, quietly helping him slow his breathing. His calm demeanor was betrayed by the fast beating of his heart. It slowed as Aiden calmed, sniffling into Vengeance's shirt, inhaling his smokey, spiced scent.
Aiden had had plenty of panic attacks and flashbacks in the last two years. He was used to hiding himself during them, pulling himself back together through the emotional exhaustion, refusing to let his weakness be seen for fear that someone would take advantage of it. He hadn't even let Josh see this side of him since moving out of his apartment. It was the first time he had ever let himself be held like this. The exhaustion hit him but there was no rush to push through it. The slow rhythm of Vengeance's hand against his back lulled him, the tension draining out of his body. He thought he should be more afraid of being touched, that he should pull away now that he had been brought back, but that would mean losing the warmth and the steady pulse of life that surrounded him. In the quiet he could focus on the way that Vengeance's muscles shifted beside him, the smell of the tea he had been drinking and something more floral that he hadn't noticed before. The ends of Vengeance's hair brushed his shoulders, his ponytail in disarray from Aiden's grasp. There was still the smell of blood around them but it was faint and sweet, intoxicating as Aiden relaxed into it.
“Let me help you.” Vengeance said, his low voice tinged with desperation.
“I-I can't. I just…I just bit you and… I lost control. This can't- this isn’t…” Aiden could feel himself spiralling further, sure he would be hyperventilating from the panic if he had needed to breathe.
“I said you could, sunshine, and I loved every second of it. If we had continued I would have loved that too.” Vengeance said, his voice soft and coaxing, altogether mismatched with his bloody and disheveled appearance.
“But I…we can't….”
“Let me clean you up. We can talk about everything else after.” Vengeance shifted his arms and pressed a kiss to Aiden's temple, his voice low and his breath hot against Aiden's ear. “I'm going to pick you up, okay?”
Aiden took a deep inhale and then nodded, his grip on Vengeance's shirt shifting as an arm slid under his knees and he was scooped up into a bridal carry, his face still hidden against Vengeance's shoulder. He felt dizzy from the ease with which Vengeance stood up, a soft noise almost like a squeak escaping him. Vengeance laughed softly, his muscles shifting again as he adjusted his grip on Aiden. He walked slowly, as if loathe to disturb Aiden too much, shouldering open the bathroom door before gently setting Aiden down to sit on the edge of the bathtub. He left the light off and the door open so that the room was illuminated gently by the hall light. He knelt in front of Aiden. “My roommates are both out tonight but I can close the door if you want me to. I don't want you to feel trapped.”
Aiden glanced at the door, barely taking in his surroundings, and then shrugged. “It's fine.” He said, his voice hoarse and barely audible.
“Okay. Can you get undressed?” Vengeance's voice was gentle and soft and Aiden thought that he might cry again if he wasn't so exhausted. “Are you okay with me helping you clean up?”
Aiden nodded slowly, tugging at the bottom of his shirt. Vengeance moved slowly, his fingers barely brushing against Aiden’s skin as he helped pull the shirt over his head. Aiden bit his lip, glancing up at Vengeance before reaching behind his head to tug his binder off. There was a long red line over his chest from the knife wound. Vengeance pulled him up gently, letting Aiden lean against his shoulder as he unbuttoned his pants and let them drop to the floor.
Vengeance helped him sit on the floor of the tub and pulled the removable shower head from the wall before he turned on the water. Aiden watched the water run pink as comfortably hot water ran over his back, rinsing the blood and dirt from the last week off his body. Vengeance was quiet as he handed the shower head to Aiden to hold while he soaped up a washcloth and began to scrub the grime from his body. His hands never stopped being gentle and careful, watching Aiden's reactions as he was shifted to clean the blood from his chest. Aiden was too exhausted to worry about dysphoria. He watched the water spray over his legs, dazed and half asleep. Vengeance took the showerhead back and the water became soapy and then slowly turned clear as it ran down the drain.
This continued as Vengeance moved on to Aiden's hair, the showerhead passed between them as he worked. He didn't talk except to give quiet instructions. His fingers scratched lightly at Aiden’s scalp as he cleaned his hair, running through the tangles that had begun to form since Aiden's last shower. The shampoo smelled sweet in an indescribable sort of way. A little floral, a little like vanilla, but not in any way that Aiden could place. Mostly it smelled like Vengeance.
The water rinsed over him once more before it was turned off and the showerhead placed back on the wall. Vengeance placed a towel around Aiden's shoulders, pressing another kiss to his temple.
“I'll be right back with some clothes.”
Aiden didn't move as he waited. He stared at the bathtub drain and held the towel around his shoulders, his brain moving too slowly to process how long Vengeance was gone.
Slender hands and strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him up to stand. He turned around and his gaze focused on Vengeance, his clothes a little damp from helping Aiden wash. The blood on his neck had been wiped away, his ponytail fixed, a clean shirt put on. Aiden wasn't sure when he'd done all that. His eyes flicked down to the clothes that Vengeance was handing him and then back up to his face.
“Thanks.”
Vengeance smiled softly, his eyes revealing his worry. “I'll let you get dressed.” He said before turning around to leave the room. Aiden caught his hand.
“Stay. This is fine.”
Vengeance nodded, standing with his back turned while Aiden pulled on the loose black t-shirt and sweatpants. The fabric was soft and clean, nicer than anything he'd worn in the last two years. He sniffled a little bit and stepped forward to rest his head against Vengeance's back.
“Sorry…”
Vengeance took a deep, shaky breath. “Don't be. I'm just…glad I could help.” His voice sounded strained, as if he was suppressing something deep and complicated. “Stay here tonight. Let me protect you.”
“It's not safe. If the hunter finds me here-”
“I'm a dhampir. My roommate's a dhampir. My other roommate's a witch. We have a ridiculous amount of protection spells on the apartment. Please, stay here.”
Aiden bit his lip and then nodded against Vengeance's back. He felt something release when he nodded, a tension in Vengeance's muscles he hadn't noticed. He wrapped an arm loosely around Vengeance's waist, breathing in deep. He was still so warm, his scent less overwhelming now that the mood has shifted. Now when it enveloped him it mingled with the warmth from his body, pulling Aiden into a relaxed haze. With his panic gone he could feel the buzz from Vengeance's blood, the relaxed and satiated sense of fullness in his gut. It made him want. He wanted to mark Vengeance, possess him, feel every inch of his skin and taste his sweat. He wanted more of his low moans, wanted to know what he sounded like when he lost himself to pleasure, wanted to be fully surrounded by the warmth of his body. His next inhale was shakier as his fingers clenched tightly around the fabric of Vengeance's shirt. He restrained himself from nuzzling against the back of his neck, afraid of how he could lose control again.
“Do you want to sleep?” Vengeance asked, running a hand over Aiden's arm before lacing their fingers together. “You can have my bed.”
Aiden shook his head silently.
“Okay. Come here.” Vengeance tugged on Aiden's hand gently and led him back into the living room. He sat on the couch and pulled Aiden down next to him. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Oh, uh, sure. I haven't….done that in years.” Aiden said awkwardly, not sure what to do with his hands or how to relax, until Vengeance wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close.
Vengeance grabbed a remote and flipped through a few screens before settling on what he referred to as his most recent “comfort movie.” Aiden tried to focus but found himself lulled by Vengeance's long fingers carding through his hair until he eventually fell asleep.
-
Aiden woke up in a bed. That was the first odd thing. The second was the warm body he was curled around. He could hear the soft heartbeat of the person next to him, wrapped in their scent and the feeling of their chest expanding and contracting with each breath. He tensed for a moment, not quite remembering where he was, but then heard a low hum from the man he was hugging. Slender fingers traced up his spine and then pushed gently up into his hair.
“It's okay, sunshine.” The voice murmured to him and he inhaled deeply, burying his head against Vengeance's chest. “Feel better?”
“Where are we?” Aiden asked, groggy and hoarse from sleep.
“My bed. You fell asleep on the couch. I moved you before my roommates got home.”
Aiden blinked his eyes open, taking in the room and the man next to him, a game paused on the phone in his hand. The walls were covered floor to ceiling in posters. They looked like they were from events, indescernible bands names listed on them next to venues like “the peeb cave.” ((author note: a real Milwaukee venue for a few months, it was just someone's basement)) There wasn't much furniture, just a dresser covered in stickers. A row of hooks had been nailed into one side of it and a collection of bulky silver jewelry hung from them, balanced on top of a couple jackets in a similar state to the dresser and walls, every inch of fabric covered by patches. Two small flags hung in the space above the door, one was a basic rainbow and the other Aiden thought he recognized with purple, blue, and pink stripes. It had been too long since he'd been anywhere with pride flags up. He made a mental note to ask Josh later, for the sake of not having to admit to Vengeance that he didn't know.
“What time is it?”
“A little after 5pm. Sun should be going down soon. Both roommates are home right now, they know you're here. I made them promise not to be suspicious assholes.” Vengeance's voice was matter of fact and blunt, a slight edge to his voice as if he had potentially made threats to make sure his roommates would treat Aiden well. “Vince wasn't too happy but I won him over. Told him Grem likes you.”
“I can go.” Aiden said, tense as he started to push himself up from the bed. Vengeance's arm around him tightened and his hand carding through Aiden's hair ran down to his back move in gentle, soothing motions up and down his spine.
“No need. Stay as long as you want.”
“I shouldn't. I already stayed too long. I can't keep taking advantage of your kindness.” Aiden pulled away again and Vengeance let him go this time.
“You aren't taking advantage of me. I wouldn't let you in my bed if you were, sunshine.” He replied, his voice tight and the hand holding his phone twitching. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, following Aiden as he backed away another step. “Is this about the bite?”
Aiden nodded and then shook his head, pulling at the front of his shirt. “No. It’s- I haven't- not since transitioning. There's too much- I don't even know if I can really change anything and I can't-” He stopped talking as his back hit the door. Vengeance stayed seated on the edge of the bed and ran a hand over his hair.
“I still think you're one of the most irresistible, attractive men I've ever met.” Vengeance said, his lips curling in a slight smirk as Aiden stuttered to a stop, his cheeks growing almost unbearably hot. “What's in your pants doesn't change that.”
“I- oh.” Aiden rubbed at his neck, looking anywhere except at Vengeance, giddy euphoria making it hard for him to think straight. “Really?”
“Really.” Vengeance finally stood up, reaching out to take Aiden's hand. His voice turned husky as he looked Aiden up and down with a glint in his eyes. “I don't find myself attracted to many people. Definitely not this quickly. But you? I can't stop thinking about you, sunshine.”
Aiden met his gaze, his blush spreading from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.
“Come back to bed.”
Aiden hesitated for a long moment, his eyes glued to their fingers being slowly linked together as Vengeance stepped closer.
“Okay. Yeah. I would…like that.”
Vengeance smiled. Not his smirk or the tight, practiced smile he had shown a few times before, but a grin. His fangs were more obvious when he grinned and Aiden found his eyes drawn to Vengeance's mouth as he was pulled back onto the bed. The urge to possess him was still there but the grin and the long, warm fingers laced between his, overshadowed it entirely. There was a happy rumble in his chest as he let himself be pulled against Vengeance, once more surrounded by warmth and life and the sweet and addicting spiced vanilla scent that clung to him.
