they’re two boys in brooklyn but right now bucky’s not sure if anyone else exists or if the ground underneath their feet is real. music spills from the club they’d just left, and the vibrations of the base rumble through his feet straight to the top of his head. every hair is standing on end and he can’t tell if it’s because of the chill ( damn it steve forgot his jacket again, that idiot ) or if it’s because his arm keeps brushing against the blond’s, so lightly. god damn he’s thinking and it’s a prayer in his head, a silent plea sent to the heavens to give him some restraint, he’s already used up his last. dear god he thinks as their arms brush again, more this time but still nowhere near enough, dear god he’s praying for the strength not to pull steve into the side alley up ahead and push him against a wall ( if god never answered before, why would he answer now? )
out of sight, out of mind, and the world forgets about them for a moment as bucky pulls them both behind a building. the bricks turn away, the broken glass in the corner looking away so that the stars are their only witness. his breath is hot and broken, so unsure, only a hair’s width away from brushing his lips against steve’s. all those nights thinking of this, with steve at his side and his hair in disarray on his brow. steve,beautiful god damn steve, and now bucky’s leaning forward to close that distance. the feel of their lips joining together makes bucky’s head swim and he puts his hands on the sides of steve’s head to anchor him down. ❝ damn, ❞ he breathes against steve’s mouth, knowing full well just how damned he is now. there’s no going back now.
this is NOT what they do. he & bucky are best buds. FRIENDS. almost brothers. they’ve been practically inseparable since the beginning of time itself. they’re kindred spirits. where one goes, the other follows. they’d follow each other to the ends of the earth without a second thought. there’d be a lot of complaining & teasing, sure. but they’d do it anyway.
they do NOT kiss. ever. because it would ruin everything, wouldn’t it? that’s what steve tells himself in the dark hours of the night when he’s alone & craving the simplest, most innocent touch. because if they take things any further, they would cease to be friends. & steve would rather DIE than lose bucky as a friend
but clearly, bucky doesn’t feel the same.
the sudden turn down behind the building takes steve’s breath away. & the way bucky leans in close makes his heart practically beat right out of his chest. this isn’t happening, he thinks. but then it is.
it’s tender & sweet & everything he imagined it would be --- it feels so WRONG, but yet it feels so RIGHT.
“ buck, ” he murmurs when they breaks the kiss. leaning their foreheads together, he swallows thickly, whispering, “ we shouldn’t --- ” but then he’s leaning in again, craving the closeness they had just seconds before.