#valentine's notes

[vulpinesaint]

see it's like. yeah i hit that hornet's nest with a baseball bat. but by god if it wasn't a hornet's nest worth hitting

[isitovers]

everyone's reactions to the valentine's notes mAKE ME SO HAPPY

[nidothings]

Valentine's Notes 1

When I was in middle school I was asked by a girl if I had a valentine. And being the poet of finesse that I was at the ignorant age of 13 or 14, I said "No, I have a computer." Which is like, an obvious opening for porn-related jokes, I realize, but I was dumb enough to assume that nobody else would be juvenile enough to assume that that's what I meant (I'm the kid who wanted to look serious during the 6th grade sex-ed presentation, so I didn't dare laugh at anything). What I meant was probably one or a combination of two things: that I either was too busy doing...whatever I was doing on the computer back then – this was probably before I had a YouTube channel – so like, playing online games (most certainly taking place during my Runescape era) or something, and therefore I wanted to convey the idea that I didn't have the time for a relationship*, or even the time to pursue one*; or that I was compensating for the lack of a "Valentine" with the ability to do whatever it was I was doing/playing/making on the computer (out of the question that porn was involved to some degree, though not largely: I mean I was in middle school after all. But again, I didn't mean that when I answered the question poorly) and that those things were happiness enough for me*.

I wonder now if that had somehow been an 'opening', or an opportunity to flirt with this girl. I feel like the presence of another human male who seemed to know her better prevented any perceptions like these to be dismissed before forming into actual observations. I was also uncomfortable, and disappointingly unprepared, to get asked such a question. In no small measure due to the fact that I had a huge crush on her.

*which was just a bullshit cry for attention, where "I don't have the time for a girlfriend." and/or "I am fine with being single." would translate to "I want a girlfriend so badly but they need to make the first [ten or so moves because I am too chicken]."

[mrsclarkkent]

i hate the valentines day industry, but i am still madly in love with you._