#validating feelings

[mental-health-sideblog]

It's normal to hear about someone else's trauma and think "god I wish my trauma was that bad, then I'd have a real reason to be this messed up." Trauma is defined by its impact, not just the event itself.

[doctor-mommy-speaks]

Ep. #19 Everyday behavioural problems in children and practical ways of handling them.

Ep. #19 Everyday behavioural problems in children and practical ways of handling them.

Today’s episode is for all those parents who are struggling with disciplining their child and the common behavioural problems that come with it. We have discussed things like poor behaviour, validating feelings, over parenting, setting boundaries, positive reinforcements and much more. For giving us a deeper insight into child discipline techniques we have with us a special guest all the way…

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[forget-religion-marsha-is-real]

A core aspect of dealing with invalidation is learning to manage the fear of your feelings. ...You must expose yourself to the fear in order to overcome it.  Exposure means living with an uncomfortable emotion, in this case fear, at least for a short time.  In fact, living with it for a short time, leaving it, coming back to it on purpose, leaving it on purpose, then coming back (and so on) is the primary method of reducing fear.  If you are willing and able to consciously reexpose yourself in small doses to a situation that causes anxiety and depression, that situation loses its power.   ...You have feelings all the time and engage in no behavior to demonstrate those emotions.  Learning to trust that even strong feelings do not have to be acted upon can reduce your tendency to avoid your feelings.  Exposing yourself to even intense feelings and then not acting on them (not escaping the feeling, not hitting the person you're angry at, not engaging in self-defeating behavior when you feel badly about yourself) can be a powerful way of developing confidence in your emotional life.

Depressed and Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression and Anxiety, p. 59-60; Thomas Marra, Ph.D.

[forget-religion-marsha-is-real]

Feelings are never wrong.  They just are.  Okay, you may say, feelings may be senses just like eyesight, but that doesn't mean they're never wrong.  What about prejudice?  If you feel that another race is a threat, that does not make it so.  Correct.  Your feelings may not accurately portray reality.  ...The triggering event (the situation or stimulus that you are reacting to) may not turn out to hold the same value that you attribute to it.   But isn't the same true of all of your senses?  You may see a cake that looks and smells delicious, but turns out to be stale and revolting when you take a bite.  Is the sight of the cake wrong?  Was your anticipation of its taste wrong?  Would you begin to question the correctness of your eyesight?  Probably not.  You would most likely say that the cake looked good, but tasted bad. ...You take for granted that your anticipations or expectations can be wrong, while the sense (taste, vision, tactual feel, hearing, smell) is correct.  Why is it different with your emotions?

Depressed and Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression and Anxiety, p. 53-4; Thomas Marra, Ph.D.

[geekysciencemom]

Article on empathy, validating feelings, and reflective listening. Written by Tim Hartnett PhD, therapist and relationship counseling expert.

"Validation is a powerful communication skill. Its usage can dismantle power struggles, resolve arguments, and build deeply trusting relationships." - Tim Hartnett PhD