#vaneet mehta

[qbdatabase]

Daily Book – Bisexual Men Exist

Being a bisexual man isn’t easy – something Vaneet Mehta knows all too well.

Being a bisexual man isn’t easy – something Vaneet Mehta knows all too well. After spending more than a decade figuring out his identity, Vaneet’s coming out was met with questioning, ridicule and erasure. This experience inspired Vaneet to create the viral #BisexualMenExist campaign, combatting the hate and scepticism m-spec (multi-gender attracted spectrum) men encounter, and helping others who felt similarly alone and trapped.

This powerful book is an extension of that fight. Navigating a range of topics, including coming out, dating, relationships and health, Vaneet shares his own lived experience as well as personal stories from others in the community to help validate and uplift other bisexual men. Discussing the treatment of m-spec men in LGBTQ+ places, breaking down stereotypes and highlighting the importance of representation and education, this empowering book is a rallying call for m-spec men everywhere.

[slipperymeteor]

Bisexual Men Exist — Vaneet Mehta

Like another reviewer on Goodreads, I too wasn’t sure what I’d get from this book. If the main message is the title—bisexual men exist—then the cover page has made the proclamation clear so what’s in the rest of the book? (Also, I exist, don’t I? QED? what more do I need?)

Still, it’s an important message because it’s (/we are) too often ignored, dismissed, or overlooked.

I started reading the book anyway, though, learned a new-to-me term in the first couple of pages (m-spec: multi-gender attraction), and found myself devouring half the book in one sitting. This is a very readable book. Vaneet Mehta did a really good job in writing it.

Partly I think it’s because he’s starting with the familiars: the few representations in TVs (and missed opportunities). (Although there’s no mention of Nick Nelson’s character from Alice Oseman’s Heartstopper or the forced outing of Kit Connor, but the Netflix series is maybe too recent to have made the cut.)

The book cites some statistics, weaved together with narratives from Vaneet’s contributors. These contributors are integrated into the narrative with very little introduction: just their names, mostly. In various sections we get slightly more details (eg., what culture they come from in the section about intersectionality, or their degrees in a section about accessing mental health, but little more). These mostly work, although there were a couple of places where I noticed I was a little confused. At the end of the book there’s a complete list of names (several dozens of them) and pronouns but that’s it.

I came out of reading this book finding out more materials to read. The Bi-ble: New Testimonials (eds: Lauren Nickodemus); Women in Relationships with Bisexual Men: Bi Men by Women (Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli); Bi-America: Myths, Truths and Struggles of an Invisible Community (William Burleson).