#vb nonsense

[valdekboy]

Back Again

As always I'm sorry for neglecting this account for so long, but I just can't keep going like this. I should open this site and enjoy what other people create, put up something I've made myself and be happy about it. Instead I'm scared to be here cause every time I see some art I can't stop myself from comparing. I feel like I'm not creating enough, and when I do, I don't feel like it's good enough. I'm ruining this for myself and I'm unable to do anything about it, I'm trying to think differently, to be kinder to myself, to stay positive but I just CAN'T, it's not working. Every day on and off this site is just adding up to the stress. Basically I feel like I'm slowly falling apart, and I try to put myself together but nothing seems to work. I have to either push on through, or give up and forget all of this.

For now, I'll try my best and push on through...

Good night.

[valdekboy]

I just logged on and all I have to say is...

[valdekboy]

Bunch of nonsense (and something extra)

Where have you been for the last 3 week? Well let me tell you a story. I saw a cool AU and i thought "I could make something with these characters" And so i did, few sketches here and there, then i noticed they looked awful, something looked not right. What was the problem? Anatomy. I didn't know $#!T about anatomy (still don't know too much), all my previous drawings were made by putting couple sticks, balls and cubes together and looking at the reference pictures like they had answers to all my questions. And thanks to that one AU i started to learn few basic things. And while learning i started to fix those previous sketches. But that little yellow gremlin at the back of my head kept giving me more ideas. Thanks to that I now have page full of doodles, 6 drawings to finish and a ton of things to learn.

Why didn't I just drop this idea and do something else? Because I CAN'T! I don't remember the last time I saw one of my sketches and went "Holy $#!T did I draw that?" I feel like I'm making progress every day.

And to be completely honest with you, I think all of this helped me get through one of scarier moment in my life. Funny how finding this one thing helped me.

Oh, an here's that something extra I mentioned. Bunch of doodle pages with a small hint of that thing I was talking about. (If you know, you know.) [And If you snitch on me, I will find you...]

+ Valdi riding on a MOR-4Y (Because that whole DLC was Amazing, and the OST is just cherry on top)

If you've read this far, Thank you for being here! Have an AMAZING Day/Night!