I sent a Very Good Dog to the other side today.
Pete was 14. I met him when he was 4, and diagnosed him with immune mediated thrombocytopenia-his immune system was shredding up platelets. Happily though, it was found before he was sick. This disease can be a terrifying disaster, difficult to manage and silent until it’s a catastrophe. But sometime you get lucky and find it when it’s smoldering. Pete’s owners trusted me when I told them their seemingly normal dog was potentially in grave danger and they treated him, and he never had a problem with it.
Pete’s owners decided I worked miracles after that. They told me so at every chance they had. And while they would see any vet for routine things, when Pete had a problem, it was me or someone I recommended. Over the years, Pete had bouts with IBD as well as his ITP. I loved working with Pete and his people. They were gentle and gracious and they always made sure I knew they appreciated me. If I had to return a call to them, I always saved them to the end of my day, because they always made me feel better after speaking to them.
Then I left the job I met them on, and I was sad to not see them. I can’t tell clients where I go when I go, I just have to hope they might find me. Pete’s owners tracked me down inside of a month.
I always knew when Pete arrived. He had a distinct voice, and he would “sing” in the waiting room. When I saw him in March, I heard him first..but his voice was different. That’s the day I found the mass on his thyroid. Days later, the state shut down and I could not get a hold of Pete’s owners. They always returned my calls, and they just...didn’t. I worried. Pete’s dad worked in a hospital as a pharmacist. I hoped he was ok, but I had no idea.
And in June, they called.
It was such a relief to hear Pete’s dad on the phone.
Pete was 14 now. His owners had fled to Vermont, but were still coming south to work on site every few weeks. He wasn’t doing well. He was having seizures and lost weight. They brought him to me a few days later and we decided to not pursue a bunch of diagnostics, but to just keep him comfortable and happy.
And then I left that job, and sort of floated for a few weeks. I started a new job 2 weeks ago. Today, I got a message from Pete’s mom. She was in tears when I called. Pete wasn’t doing well, and they were in Vermont. He was vomiting, and stopped eating. We discussed some supportive care things they could try, and I told them I was in the office until 6, and in tomorrow and I would definitely squeeze them in, if they wanted.
Four hours later, Pete and his mom were in the parking lot. We are curbside these days, so just Pete came into my exam room, his mom on the phone. He didn’t sing. He was thin. He looked tired. We talked. She called her husband. We decided today was the day for Pete’s euthanasia.
We are allowing clients in for euthanasia, so Pete’s mom came in, in gloves and a mask and we sat on the floor, with Pete’s dad on FaceTime. I gave Pete a sedative, and he fell asleep on a blanket on the floor. I gave him the second injection and Pete’s owners talked him on, telling him to go see one of their other dogs, and telling him to watch over me.
I don’t cry at every euthanasia, but I cried at this one. I gave Pete’s mom a hug, though we both know that’s risky behavior these days. She told me she loved me and that they would follow me no matter where I go.
It is easy in this job, to be eaten whole by the angry and ungrateful. It is easy to remember when you are told you don’t care by someone who is frustrated and lashing out. Even when you tell yourself that person was striking out at you because they can’t strike at the thing they are actually upset with. You’re just an easy target. Even when you tell yourself that, the words sting and you wonder why you chose this.
It’s the ten years you get with a Pete and his owners.
