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[lampk1sser]

hi tumblr plushums i figured you guys would appreciate this

so something compelled me and i gave one of my boyfriends the impression of having nipples and top scars by brushing his fur the wrong direction in some parts... obviously it didnt stay like this for long but it was it was a cool idea! he looks so cute like this i might actually faint... >///<

[lampk1sser]

oomf fucking got my ass 😭

[lampk1sser]

> FICTOMERCHUM.

ficto(ional) + merch(andise) + (object)um an identity under the objectum and ficto- attraction umbrellas describing an individual who experiences any kind of attraction to a fictional character, as well as experiencing objectum attraction to merchandise depicting their likeness, such as plushies, keychains, figures, articles of clothing, and anything else

images attached: first row: the fictomerchum flag, the flag without the icon, the flag without the icon and circle second row: the fictomerchum flag with horizontal stripes instead of vertical ones (ideal for icons/pfps), the flag with horizontal stripes and no icon, the flag with horizontal stripes and no icon or circle image ids are in the alt text

> FICTOPLUSHMERCHUM.

ficto(ional) + plush(ie) + merch(andise) + (object)um an identity under the objectum and ficto- attraction umbrellas describing an individual who experiences any kind of attraction to a fictional character, as well as experiencing objectum attraction to plush toy(s) depicting their likeness. it is a subtype of fictomerchum. you are free to make your own flags for different subtypes!

images attached: the fictoplushmerchum flag, the fictoplushmerchum flag with horizontal stripes instead of vertical ones image ids are in the alt text

☆ these are terms/flags that i coined! if someone else has coined this before or something similar, consider this an alt! anyone is free to use this flag/term with or without crediting me. the flags colors do not have any particular meanings, i just chose colors i thought were pretty. ALSO, IM NOT A COINING BLOG! my blog is nsft! im choosing to post this flag here so i dont have to talk about objectkissing on main. minors who see this post may use this flag and term just dont go to my blog, its not for you. i may post more flags ive coined in the future, but my blog will never be a coining blog so please do not treat it as such. i wont take requests, as all my flags/terms are self indulgent. bye now!

[lampk1sser]

nobody ever talks about how intimate and frankly quite sexual cleaning a bong can be. filling it up and washing it out with hot water over and over again, until the air gets all steamy. poking and prodding into all its hardest to reach nooks and crannies, trying to get to every single possible area until its squeaky clean. and after its over you can look at your bong and feel satisfied with your work, and your bong looks more beautiful than ever (and probably as happy as ever)

i deep cleaned my bong today. it made me feel.. normal emotions (lie). normal, non freaky emotions (mega lie). i got so into the cleaning i actually managed to get off some extremely stubborn gunk that had been caked on the inside where i couldnt reach for months. i was almost convinced it wouldnt ever come off and would be there forever. and man, he looks almost as clean as he did when i first received him. im quite proud of myself

this guy is so fuckign pretty 😵‍💫 i almost dont wanna use him right now as to not dirty him up again, but i do feel the closest to him when i smoke... difficult decisions. i will give him a kiss though. or maybe quite a few

[lampk1sser]

> LAMPUM / LIGHTUM.

lamp/light + (object)um

an identity under the objectum umbrella describing an individual who experiences any kind of attraction to lamps or other human-made forms of lighting. this includes all human-made lighting, including but not exclusive to: floor lamps, desk lamps, table lamps, lava lamps, lanterns, ceiling and wall-mounted lights, flashlights, candles, etc

images attached: first row: the lampum/lightum flag, the flag without the icon, the flag without the icon and circle second row: the lampum/lightum flag with horizontal stripes instead of vertical ones (ideal for icons/pfps), the flag with horizontal stripes and no icon, the flag with horizontal stripes and no icon or circle image ids are in the alt text

☆ this is a flag/term that i coined! if someone else has coined this before or something similar, consider this an alt! anyone is free to use this flag/term with or without crediting me. the flags colors do not have any particular meanings, i just chose colors i thought were pretty. ALSO, IM NOT A COINING BLOG! my blog is nsft! im choosing to post this flag here so i dont have to talk about objectkissing on main. minors who see this post may use this flag and term just dont go to my blog, its not for you. i may post more flags ive coined in the future, but my blog will never be a coining blog so please do not treat it as such. i wont take requests, as all my flags/terms are self indulgent. bye now!

[lampk1sser]

intro post for all my object partners finally!

ive been putting off doing this for way too long but im just gonna post it right now because i havent been able to get it off my mind lately

fyi: im not posic, but i respect the posic community! i dont personally perceive my object partners as actually being sentient or having a consciousness or anything, though i do often tend to personify them, associate them with certain themes/personality traits, or have one sided conversations/interactions with them. all objectum individuals are encouraged to interact, including those who are posic :)

so basically, im poly objectum and a poly yumeshipper. that leads to me falling in love with objects easily, especially if they relate to my fictional others in some way. i have a lot of object partners, 11 to be specific, several of which are object "vessels" for my f/os. heres an intro post for all of them! if my f/o vessels have traits that dont line up with the actual characters canon its just me projecting my personal headcanons onto them. so dont kill me with hammers pls 🙏

all intros are down there V

🛋️ lampert

he/him/they/it/she/whatever male? kinda?? idk. does it matter? i dont think it matters regretevator makeship lampert plushie

my beloved lampwife, hes my main partner atm and i love him more than almost anything. i made him a kandi bracelet with my first initial (k for keith) and green beads (my favorite color) to match the bracelet i made for myself that says his name! in the future i do want to find another, possibly multiple more vessels for him, including another, bigger, plush vessel and hopefully even a real lamp vessel. unfortunately the official makeship plushie is very small and not as nice to cuddle/hug as some of my other partners :(

💜🩵 asher

he/him trans male build a bear workshop tie-dye hoppy swirls frog

ever since i started dating this guy i have been SOOO in love with him. i cuddle him basically nightly and always have him next to me. hes so soft and adorable, i absolutely love build a bears and i totally understand why theyre so popular among plushums

👽🛸 zleeble

he/it/xe/zlorp transmasc vague gender creature ikea aftonsparv alien plushie

my god you have no idea how much i love aftonsparvs. ive had a massive crush on them for so long, im so happy to have one of my own now!! yayyy :]

🤎 cinnamon

he/him male chocolate labrador warmie

i originally saw him a thrift store for cheap and decided not to get him against my better judgment, which i regretted. but then i asked my mom to order him for me for christmas and well, the rest is history :) i love the way he looks so much.. hes so damn adorable

🍃💚 ziggy

he/it male? i guess? my bong

he was a christmas gift from my mom last year and i love him so much my gosh. hes so so pretty and soo nice to use. i basically never smoke using anything other than him

🩵🦕 dewey

he/him male animal adventure blue stegosaurus plushie

i found him at a thrift store and fell in love immediately, who wouldnt? his fur is sooo unbelievably soft and he feels very nice to cuddle. his whole appearance is honestly so adorable... i really love the look of animal adventure plushies in general

☁️ my body pillow

they/it/he genderless i mean, its a body pillow

nothing much to say about this guy. i cuddle him every night when i sleep and hes so unbelievably soft and fluffy. the pillowcase that they have rn is a placeholder, i want a green one with a zipper in the future

🩷💛 spamton

i dont think he would care what pronouns you use for him maleish creature thing deltarune fangamer talking spamton plushie (version one)

i loovee spamton so much <3 i dont interact with this guy as often as i should, but in my defense the fangamer plush is far from the most cuddleable plushie ever made. i recently found out that fangamer remade the spamton plush and the current one being sold is softer and better quality than the old one that i have? id like to buy it and test that theory but i dont have the money rn, sadge

🔥 firey

he/him trans male bfdi firey plushie

ive been dating this guy for technically the longest of all my object partners, even before knowing what objectum was. i made his rainbow loom bracelets years ago

💚🐽 ross

he/him male angry birds pig plush that i drew freckles on with sharpie to look like ross from bad piggies lol

definitely one of my more embarrassing f/os to admit, but ive honestly just started caring less and less over the years to the point where i dont even care anymore if people think im cringe for this xD. ross is honestly so cute, and bad piggies was such a popular game its kind of insane that rovio never released an official ross plush, forcing me to diy mine. wtv, hes still cute!

🤖 toby

he/it/they male pop it fidget spinner robot fidget toy thing

a random fidget toy my mom gifted me. idk what this guys deal is but hes just so damn cute and charming??? sooo fun to fidget with as well, this is like the peak of fidget toys. i love how poseable he is, he feels so expressive!

and thats everyone! (for now)

i have no doubt in my mind that i will be accumulating even more partners in the future, so expect this list to keep growing. i am so greedy teehee i love objects!

[lampk1sser]

my three cozy and snug boyfriends. and yes, they smoke weed

[lampk1sser]

me and lampert went on our first real date yesterday! my family and i went on a roadtrip to ikea, and i decided to take him with me, because obviously!