#voltageromance

[nagi-in-otome-land]

I miss Shion!

[nagi-in-otome-land]

At first I thought the ad is from Voltage but I was mistaken.

[jpbree1228]

Xavier Van Der Belt (My Killer Romance) Angst one-shot

Sometimes, she swears that she can see him. When she’s at work, she sees him standing in the lobby. At night, when she’s getting ready to go to sleep, she sees something next to her in the darkness, and she knows it’s him. And when she’s visiting the Collector’s, she goes into the room that was once his, breathes in the scent of him that still lingers on his pillow, and she sees him on the balcony watching her.

Maybe she’s going crazy. No, she’s definitely going crazy. Xavier had passed on already. He was gone. So yeah, she was losing her mind. But, that was ok, because if it meant she got to see him, she was all for it.

It’s been three months since he died. Life goes on, but her heart doesn’t. Sometimes, she has good dreams of him. Other times, she has nightmares that cause her to wake up screaming his name, tears pouring down her face like a waterfall. She doesn’t cry every night before she goes to sleep anymore. Hallucinating Xavier-yes, she had to be hallucinating him-gave her some kind of comfort, like he had never really left her at all. Not completely. It’s going to have to stop at some point. She can’t go on like this, because it’ll kill her.

But letting him go will kill her, too.

One night, the one night she does cry, she suddenly feels someone’s presence, and someone sits down beside her.

Xavier.

"Still crying over me?" He says this softly, but there’s still the cocky edge in his tone.

She rolls over to face him, and she knows that somehow, he’s actually here with her. She isn’t sure how, but she isn’t going to waste whatever time she has with him to ask questions. “What do you want me to do?”

Xavier rolls his eyes. “You’re supposed to move on”

"It’s been three months, Xavier. I’m trying, but I don’t know how to. I love you too much."

She expects him to lecture her on how to move on from him, but instead his eyes suddenly become sad. “I know. You don’t know how much I miss you.”

It takes some squinting, but she manages to get a better look at him. His beautiful blue eyes are the same, but there is something off about them, like there’s no life behind them. His skin is pale, the color drained from his lips. He still wore the suit that he had been wearing the day he died, and she could make out a few bruises on him, a big one on his cheek from when he was thrown into the air from the explosion and had crashed down to floor, hard.

"Oh, God, Xavier" she choked out. She gets an extremely tight feeling in her chest and an ache in the pit of her stomach. Her lungs begin to burn.

He lays down beside her and pulls her close to him, wrapping her in his arms. She buries her face into the crook of his cold neck and breathes in his scent, tears running down her cheeks. He runs his fingers through her hair, his other hand around hers. She squeezes his hand tightly, as if it’ll prevent him of being taken away from her again.

As if reading her thoughts, he sighs and says “I have to move on to my next life, eventually.”

"How are you here now? I thought you had already moved on…"

"I refused to move on until you let me go"

"I don’t know how to let you go. I can’t." Her voice breaks at the end, and she begins to sob, clenching his hand and snuggling closer to him.

Xavier turns to face her and presses his forehead against hers. She closes her eyes, feeling his cold thumb brush across her cheek to wipe her tears away. “I love you so much”, he whispers.

"I love you, too. I love you. I love you." She repeats these words over and over, because she knows this’ll be her last chance to say them. "Please, don’t go again. Stay with me."

"I don’t have any other choice. I’d stay here with you forever if I could"

"Will you at least stay tonight?"

He smiles sadly, nods, and leans in to brush his cold lips against hers.

She leans into the kiss pulling him even closer, and for a while they just lay there kissing and holding one another.

Eventually, she falls asleep. When she wakes up, he is still there and is still holding her. She closes her eyes, praying for him to stay with her. But, eventually, when he thinks she’s asleep, he kisses her gently, tells her how much he loves her, and a minute later she feels him leave. He’s gone for good.

The last thing she wants to do is to let him go, but she knows that she can’t let him linger for much longer. It’s time. And there’s only one way she knows how to do that.

She asks Blake to open the portal for her. When she’s at the castle where she hasn’t been since Xavier died, she feels her heart begin to race and her chest tightens again, but she knows she has to do this. So she goes to see Kieran, who is just as broken as her, if not more, and is relieved when he tells her he still hasn’t found anyone for him.

The King allows him to take the rest of the day to spend with her. They spend the day talking, laughing, sharing a few tears, and once she works up the nerve, she kisses him.

She lets Xavier go.

It takes a while, but she eventually does fall in love with Kieran. It’s definitely not the kind of love she felt for Xavier. She’ll never love anyone like she loved him. But she did love Kieran, and when he asks her to marry him, she feels happy and sad at the same time. She’s sad because she knows it should be Xavier asking her to marry him, not Kieran. But Xavier was gone and Kieran was here.

Yes, time did go on. She allowed her heart to go on. But she still dreams of him sometimes, and if she has a nightmare, Kieran is there to hold her and comfort her with words. He doesn’t get jealous or angry, because he understands, and she’s grateful for that.

And sometimes…sometimes, she swears that she still sees him.

[voltagexgirl116-blog]

First Blog Post & a Question!

Yay I finally decided to make a blog! There will be plenty of randomness and lots about anime and the popular otome games from Voltage! Speaking of that, I know plenty of girls and women play the games so to kick things off I have a question for everyone out there. Do you (a guy) or know a guy that has played any of these and enjoyed them?

[jpbree1228]

Xavier Van Der Belt (My Killer Romance) 9 Months: Month 8

The eighth month is, to put it bluntly, a bitch.

Your back aches, your feet hurt, and you can barely walk. 

Xavier tries to put you on bed rest, which you not-so-kindly decline. You couldn't think of anything more boring than having to stay in bed all the time.

The eighth month is Blake teasing you about how big you are. You throw pillows and a book at him and cuss him out while everyone stood around awkwardly. No one had ever heard you use such colorful language before, and it was amusing and slightly scary.

The eighth month is forcing Xavier to watch videos of babies being delivered with you. It was gory and gross and it made you really scared, but you couldn't help but laugh at the look of shock and disgust on Xavier's face.

"I think I'll wait outside of the room when the time come", he said nervously.

"The hell you will. You're the reason this is happening in the first place"

"Last time I checked, it takes two to make a baby"

You rolled your eyes. "Okay, true, but It's not like I impregnated myself. That one is on you, buddy"

"Well, where else was I suppose to-" He stopped from saying what he was about to say, and you were thankful. That would have made things awkward.

"Forget it, Xavier. It doesn't matter" You placed a hand on your stomach and smile at him. "I'm glad it happened"

Xavier smiled and kissed you on your cheek, putting his hand on top of yours. "I am, too"

And despite your crazy hormones and all the arguing it has caused, you both loved each other more than anything, and you couldn't wait to welcome your child into the world and spend forever together.

[jpbree1228]

Possible My Killer Romance Cast Paul Wesley-Kieran Michael Ealy-Leo Ian Somerhalder-Xavier Jensen Ackles-Raphael (with glasses) I don’t know who the last two guys are, but I think Blake could look like either one.

[jpbree1228]

Xavier Van Der Belt (My Killer Romance) 9 Months: Month 7

The seventh month of your pregnancy is a little boring...and painful. It's your back hurting like hell. It's looking like swallowed two watermelons whole. It's not being able to sleep at night until early in the morning because you can't get comfortable. It's Xavier grumbling at you, because all your tossing and turning is bothering him and keeping him up. It's the mood swings. In all honesty, you enjoy them a little bit, because Xavier and all of the Collectors fear you a tiny bit. No one wants to upset a pregnant lady and deal with the consequences. It's going stir crazy at home due to your maternity leave at work. You try to keep yourself busy by watching movies, but it usually ends in tears because everything makes you have the urge to cry now. It's going to the Death Realm to visit Kieran and the King. Xavier hadn't wanted to go in fear of what going through the portal may do to you, but once you started freaking out, he changed his mind quickly. It's the King throwing a dinner in celebration of his son's first child and his first Granddaughter. It's some rude cousin of Xavier and Kieran who brings up the topic about where the child will be raised, meaning the Death Realm or Human Realm. It's all of Xavier's family going into shock and disapproval when he tells them that the baby will be raised in the Human Realm. It's yelling at everyone to shut the hell up because it's none of their damn business where the baby will be born. It's the King and Xavier looking a little bit proud of this. Kieran has a look of surprise on his face, but it then changes to amusement and he tried to hide the smile on his face. It's the, "Xavier, how fat do I look?" a week later. Xavier looks up from some papers and gives you a confused look. "Aren't you supposed to be fat?" "...Pardon?" "You're pregnant. Doesn't that mean you're supposed to be fat?" The urge to throw a vase at Xavier's head is too tempting, but you can't exactly do that, so you burst into tears and yell "Screw you, Xavier! You were supposed to tell me that I'm NOT fat, you idiot!" You storm out of the living room and go into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. And then you cry harder because you should have gone into the bedroom where at least you could have read or watched TV while fuming. So yeah, the seventh month is one hell of a month.

[jpbree1228]

Xavier Van Der Belt (My Killer Romance) 9 Months: Month 2

The second month is when you realize that something is up. You haven’t gotten over your stomach bug yet your boobs were feeling pretty tender.

It’s sitting in work one day when the suddenly you realize that you haven’t had you period yet.

It’s checking your calendar and confirming it: you period is late.

It’s telling Lea and making plans to buy a pregnancy test as soon as work was over. You text Xavier to tell him not to wait for you, you’ll be out with Lea.

It’s heading to the store to buy some pregnancy tests. The cash register lady smiles at you as she rings them up and says “I hope it all works out for you”

You smile politely, but you feel like crying on the inside because being pregnant when everything was so complicated right now…Well, it wasn’t anything to be happy about.

It’s heading back to your apartment after promising Lea you would call her with the results. You drink a ton of water and when you feel like your bladder is about to burst, you run to the bathroom, pee in a cup, and stick four tests in it.

It’s about ten minutes later when you decide to check them.

It’s all of them coming out positive, two pink lines on each of them.

It’s feeling tears spill over onto your cheeks. You knew you wanted a baby someday, but right now…right now, it isn’t a good time.

The second month is calling Xavier and asking him to come over, because you want to tell him as soon as possible.

It’s Xavier hurrying over and demanding to know what’s wrong.

It’s whispering “I’m pregnant”

Xavier freezes. “What did you say?”

Your voice is a little stronger as you repeat yourself. “I said…I’m pregnant” You go into the bathroom and collect the tests and show them to him.

A look of shock came over Xavier’s face as he stared at the tests. It felt like an hour before he finally regained his composure. “Why do you look so miserable about it? Did you think I would leave you?”

"N-no", you reply softly, tears threatening to spill out again "I just thought you wouldn’t want it…I mean, we finally just got to the bottom of the explosions and I’m training to be a Collector…I just thought you would be mad because this isn’t the right time…"

He wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead. “You’re right, ____, it isn’t the right time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with you, and I want you beside me forever, but, things are finally settling down and with me going to become the King of the Death Realm again and-” You start to pull away, but his arms only tighten around you. “Would you let me finish? It’s not a good time for…a baby. Hell, I never even thought about kids. They were always annoying to me, always making messes and throwing temper tantrums. It just never seemed like fatherhood would be for me. But, It’ll be with you, and that makes me feel ten times better. _____, I love you, and it’ll be tough for the both of us, but…I want to have this baby with you”

You begin to cry at his words. “You do?”

"I couldn’t imagine it happening with anyone else. Besides," he smirks and presses a hand to your stomach "If it’s my kid, it’ll bound to be just like me, and that’ll make it all so much easier"

"Oh, please" you say, rolling your eyes "It’s half of me, too, which means it’ll be just as stubborn as me"

He presses a kiss to your lips and smiles. “That’s true”

The second month is spending the night with Xavier, both of you not worrying about anything, just your baby. It’s realizing your both about to become parents, and even though it’ll be tough, you’re both also very happy.