#vx2006

[vx2006]

HALLOWEEN 10/31/25

hor hor hor hor hor

foxy go arrrg

jesus christ what a roller coaster of emotions today. im not gonna lie to you guys, i was going through major psychosis today. i was just in such dissarray, like what a terrible state to find and witness me in jesus christ im so sorry.

honestly i wasnt even set on going out tonight, it was really just an impulsive and self destructive desicion i made on a whim. glad i did, cause this night rocked, but still. i was just so derealized the entire time and before that and after and maybe im just too far fucked beyond saving idk.

ok sorry guys, im lowkey tweaking rn. i had fun, ok? i did. i had tons of fun last night. my costume actually came out much better than i was anticipating, lowkey a hit. i do anything to dress up. i take any opportunity to be a furry. i have alot of animal ears and tails and accesories now... thats ok, i kinda like being a furry.

also i was like stumbling around the whole day. that eyepatch is no joke, i had NO depth perception. stairs and doors were my OPPS today, the whole day. doors too because of my hook. it wasnt exactly strong enough to open most doors, nor is it very good at turning nobs, tho it was pretty useful for other things. it was actually the perfect size for a solo cup.

anway, it was a pretty great halloweekend

yes we are doing orange today in place of the usual purple. special circumstances ok?

[vx2006]

RAVE WOLF 🐺 10/18/25

suprise saturday post

it was halloween themed ok everyone was in costume, i wasnt just a furry for no reason ok? ok??

i went to my first rave on saturday. that shit was littt

like not gonna lie it was actually so so much fun. like i get it. i get the hype. ive always wanted to go to a rave. we were tearring shit up till 4 am then i had to drive back 2 hours. and i had work the next day. it was awesome.

it was in some like random warehouse, struggled to even find how to get inside.

also, WE WENT UP ON STAGE. LIKE OMG?? first rave and they already got me up on the stage 😭😭 just before the lady came up to us i was literally just thinking like, what if we went up on stage that would be so cool. and then this lady comes up and asks us if we wanna go on stage, and we're like, UH, YEAH. and so we go backstage and we get up there and we are just up there the ENTIRE night like omg it was amazing. fuck the pit give me the STAGE.

literally was so awesome. so so cool

also, coke culture is REAL. some guy kept asking if we wanted some of his hardcore shit. bro had cocaine and ecstasy 😭 i guess we seemed like we were well seasoned pros at this or something cause omg. like do we look like snow bunnies idk, but then again maybe. i feel like i always manage to catch on really quick and end up blending in and seeming like i know what im doing wherever i go. i just got that ravewolf in me.

also my lighter was getting passed aROUND. like i always bring it cause i know someone is gonna ask for a light, and i can be like, yeah i got one. and be all chill or whatevah

also got so many compliments and stuff that night. like omg it was so awesome.

also after posting about this, turns to find out so many friends/ just people i know are actual rave rats?? like wdym welcome to the club 😭 what do you mean you were just getting turnt this last weekend?? like what is this double life you guys have all been living???? and why has it taken this long for one of my friends to actually invite me to go with them. like ive BEEN ASKING but nooone wants to bring me. yall dont know what i got. yall have not seen me in the pits. they dont know how crazy i get. what do you mean youve been to raves before but youre already tired? girl no we arent leaving, go sit down, but i still have so much energy and im gonna dance the whole night.

and i did.

for ONE NIGHT, nothing else mattered, nothing else existed. im in a real rough spot right now but if i can make time for literally everything else i need to do (and DO get done) then i can make time for this. this way i wont kill myself yk

and also, ok, guys. i cant lie. lowkey, its kinda chill to have a tail. I KNOW ok, but like, those furries, theyre onto something. like while im dancing around and shit and my tail was just like wagging behind me, tell me why did i lowkey feel some type of way...

like im not a furry or anything, but like, doesnt everyone kinda like having a tail and ears and fur on every so often? i mean i was only a wolf cause its all i had at the moment in terms of costume. i think i know what im gonna be for halloween now, but its still a work in prog. also dont ask why i just have a tail and fur and wolf ears on stat like that. i have, other hobbies, ok?

theres one song thats been in my head the whole time but its unreleased so i cant attatch it here 😞

[vx2006]

bite 11/13/25

i love tying my flannels around my waist

ok so like i literally left every single pencil i have in studio 😭

like my pencils my pen my sharpie even my big bobo like literally EVERYTHING

so yeah no journaling on the train home for me if, which btw i’m actually writing this rn as im on the train. first time in a while that i’m writing my journal the actual same day. but yeah usually i journal on the way home, like physically in a notebook, my tumblr blogs are more-so just like a digital diary, where i share like more general stuff about my day and how i’m feeling. not sure why, i think i just like extruding my thoughts out into the world, even if i’m not expecting any response.

but yeah honestly after going through today, i feel weird. like reflecting on everything i’ve done today, i don’t think i like a single decision i’ve made today, or how anything went. like my exam was lowkey botched, so annoyed about that and whatever, then studio just felt, icky. and then i had to leave early cause it’s my brothers birthday and i wanna be home for it yk? but i feel like they were all annoyed at me for going when the whole floor still needed to be glued. i mean cmon guys like go fuck ur selves like let’s be so fr rn i’ve done SO fuxking much for this ENTIRE project up to this point. the only things left to do are being taken care of, because once again, IM the one overseeing everything and making sure stuff is getting done, so don’t for one second try to convince me that any one of you is doing or has done more than me. you haven’t been carrying our whole group this whole project, I HAVE. so like if you wanna hate and be rude and shit cause i wanna go home and be there for my brothers 11th birthday like i don’t give a fuck. like you don’t know why i’m leaving you have no clue what i have. i have to walk 20 minutes to the train station and then take a 2hr train home and it’s already 5. you think i wanna get home so late after he’s already in bed and not even have been able to say happy birthday to him? i already feel so shitty like i’m a horrible brother and that i’m not involved enough in his life because i’m so caught up with school and work and the fact that i’m never home other than for like maybe 5 hours at night (on a good day) really late at night when everyone is asleep and i’m just in my room not even getting the chance to cause i still have so much fuxking homework to do. like i never get a chance to breath, i don’t go home to relax or anything like these people think, no i’m constantly doing something. i legit never have a day that i’m not at school or work.

anyways yeah this is just like a fraction of how much i’d be writing for these posts if i was a bit more consistent and actually writing on the days that these blogs are for. so sorry guys, i’ve just been really out of my element lately and falling out of a lot of habits and routines. my discipline is just like in the floor rn.

anyway, its whatever. nothing matters.

[vx2006]

sky wilding 11/11/25

honestly such a great fit i looked so good

not much that needed to be done today. guess ive done such a good job dictating this whole fucking project that i really didnt have much to do, so we were just kinda wandering around and me and my homeboy got to fuck around again for once like we always would. we went into the neutral gender bathroom thats hidden in the back rooms in the basement to see what its like. its one small bathroom that locks, and so the two of us were in there for a bit just messing around, and as we are leaving one of the male custodians was just standing right there 😭😭 bro thought we were in there freaking it fo sho

i guess our school has homecoming tonight cause we were all in the studio working on our houses and suddenly im like, uh whats that noise. it literally sounded like our building was getting shot up and there were just these bright white flashes coming from outside and screaming, we all go over to check, and its like theyre literally launching the fireworks at our building 😭😭

anyway, was SO tired, but also apparently you could see the northern lights?? i got home so late i missed it, it was cloudy too, tho i did get to see the sky a little bit pinkish, so that was still kinda cool.

also i tried the new monster today, it was good.

shouldve brought a zip up

[vx2006]

i dont blame u 10/29/25

letting everyone down today

guys we are just constantly on that disillusioned sad boy grind. like im so depressed but we got to keep going and trying. even if trying is just me sitting infront of my screen staring at the 2 sentence google doc for 3 hours. thats still effort, and i need to be kinder to myself about it. im trying i really am.

anyway got tons of stuff printed for my architecture studio. we are making MONEY moves. well actually not really it cost me like 30$ to print these giant ass sheets. i am so financially unstable its actually not funny.

but yeah not excited at all about the prospect of all the work i have to do in such little time. also tomorrows halloween, so, basically im fucked. like fuck these essays, i dont wanna do ANYTHING anymore.

and i mean anything.

unfortunately i would wait forever, love forever, forgive forever. and unfortunately im never afforded the same graces i give. not to myself. not to you. and most unfortunately of all, i simply cannot handle anything properly. for that im most sorry

[vx2006]

i dont give a gaf 11/5/25

had my flannel off the shoulders the whole day

guys i was so bad today. it was so bad everything just started going so wrong suddenly it was HORRIBLE. i had to present my addition for my architecture project and omg. i couldnt. my prints came out so fucked up, i was watching the other critiques and everything they were pointing out about the ones before mine were literally my entire project. so basically they already dissected and hated my project before they even saw it. i felt so sick and horrible and like i was gonna throw up, and there was this huge lump in my throat, i just left. hadnt even sent her an email explaining where i went, i just left before i had to present. i am so far removed from myself like wtf am i doing. i am going fucking crazy, not doing any assignments, ditching classes, just going fucking crazy. im actually so unsure what is to become of my life at this point, because if i keep going this way like- jesus idefk. and the worst part is that i literally just dont have the strength anymore. i know no one is coming to save me, but i literally sit there trying, and trying, and trying, and still i just cant. i just cant.

anyway i went home and dropped my bag and just went straight to bed. no guilt, no homework, i just needed a reset.

my neck suddenly started hurting soo bad, i just couldnt i had to sleep.

[vx2006]

they liked my proj 12/4/25

just an fyi i wrote these last two posts like a week ago and don’t rlly know if i align with what i said anymore but i’m not gonna just discard the whole thing cause it’s still apart of me yk.

so this was me giving my final presentation to the jury at my critique. it went pretty well, despite me going first. they actually all really liked my addition, said it was strong, had all positive things to say, and overall they just really digged it. you know you did good when they start having fun with ideas with it. aftward, since i went first, we were just in and out of studio doing who knows what, getting coffee, getting food, getting hot coco, and also "working" on our essays due at 11:59. yeah that essay we had "all semester" to do. yeah it didnt get done. i turned in a piece of nothing. sorry guys. i just kinda gave up lowkey. lowkey thats just how my life is. i just give up, and for good reasons too. you guys dont know how much i do and how much ive put up with till now. no one knows what got you to the point of which you fail or give up or break. people judge you for your choices without even ever knowing what your options were. no one will ever understand, and hopefully one day ill truly understand that and not be so bothered about needing to be percieved properly again.

[vx2006]

its not getting better 11/14/25

sorry posts are getting shorter and shorter, im just losing energy is all

another day of feeling weird and horrible. went to this art gallery for my art history class, it was kinda interesting, felt like i was in dr seuss. also they had these wheelchairs you could try out. wheelchairing is pretty fun and i was actually so good at it. hopefully i never have to actually be in a wheel chair, but if i was id be pretty goated at it. other than that i sliced my finger open working on our damn model. i took that as my sign to go home.

also i lost my bracelet, that one string one i love to wear all the time. so very sad about it.

not entirely thrilled