(by request, my homily from Sunday)
Imagine you’ve got a cup of coffee. Made just the way you like it.
And in the instant before you take that perfect first sip, I bump into you. And you spill your coffee. Everywhere.
If I asked you, why did you spill the coffee?
You’d say, “Umm, because you bumped into me.” The “you jerk” is implied.
Wait, what? You would be wrong.
You spilled coffee, because that’s what you had in your cup.
If you’d been standing there with a cup of tea when I bumped into you, you would have spilled tea. If your cup had been full of water, you would have spilled water.
Because the only thing that can spill is what’s already in the cup. You can’t spill what’s not there.
This principle doesn’t just apply to cups of coffee or tea or water. This principle applies to you and me.
When life bumps into us – as it does many times each day. When life bumps into us, you and I are going to spill out what’s already in us. That’s the only thing that can happen.
You and I can’t spill what’s not there.
And what spills out of us? What spills out of us says a lot about us.
This is what I was getting at in Wednesday’s homily.
This is what Jesus is getting at in today’s Gospel. With His odd greeting to the two disciples of John.
He greets them, but not with “Can I help you?” Or “How are you?” Or even “What do you want?”
Jesus says, “What are you looking for?”
Which is another way of asking, “What have you filled yourself with?”
Because what you are full of? That’s what you will be looking for.
That is, left to our own devices, we look for things that are like what we are already full of. Things that are familiar. Things that confirm our preferences, our biases, and - yes - our prejudices.
If you have filled yourself with fear, you will find much to fear.
If you have filled yourself with anger, you will find much to anger you.
If you have filled yourself with hatred, you will find much to hate.
And that’s just you and me on our own. Without any help from the legion of wildly successful businesses that are growing rich while making us fearful, angry, and hateful.
Let’s pause for just a moment. Is there a time that you lashed out at something political online – in fear, or anger, or hatred? Where, without a moment’s pause, without really thinking about it, you went after them. Where it was something you said, or something you shared or reposted.
For me? The one that I’m thinking of? I’m kind of embarrassed to say it. I owe someone an apology.
But you know what’s even more telling? What I did – before I admitted to myself that I need to apologize. And to walk it back.
The moment that it came to mind, I was already trying to explain it away.
I was tired. I’d been working until midnight for three days. I was running on fumes.
So what? My excuses, my rationalizing, that doesn’t change what I did. What it was. What I need to do about it.
Or what it says about me. And what I’ve apparently been filling myself with.
Because when life bumps into us, you and I are going to spill out what’s already in us. That’s the only thing that can happen.
And if that’s what’s spilling out – fear, anger, hatred – that means that’s what I’ve been filling myself with. Something that isn’t from God. Something that doesn’t flow from my relationship with God.
And the same thing is true for all of us. No matter how we want to spin it, or explain it away. What it really says is that what we’ve filled ourselves with? It doesn’t come from God.
Let me be clear, the moment we start giving our excuses. Justifying things to ourselves. Talking about why we need to fix something. Why we must stop those people.
We are setting up something in us that isn’t from God.
We are setting up something in us that doesn’t flow from our relationship with God.
The moment we do that? Welcome to idolatry. Congratulations, you and I have managed to set up a pagan temple in our own hearts. Because we have put something between us and God.
And it won’t be long before we either start purity testing (imposing our personal dogma on the faith of others, that the only real Christians, the only real Catholics are the ones who believe just like us). Or we retain the veneer of the Faith with none of its substance.
That is, we keep up appearances. While we’re really worshiping at the altar of our fear, our hatred, our anger. On the downlow.
Which couldn’t be farther from the plan that God has for your life. Which couldn’t be farther from the salvation that was purchased for you on Calvary.
Jesus didn’t die so that you and I could be lost in fear, and hatred, and anger.
Because if we really are who we claim to be, then the only thing that should ever spill out of us when life bumps into us is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
That is a hard ask. How do we do that?
You and I can’t just choke it back. We’re so full of all that garbage that we just can’t do that. Not for long.
No. The answer isn’t to choke it back. The answer is to replace it. One piece at time. Hour by hour. Day by day.
This isn’t a quick fix. It’s going to take time. And two other things. Be aware that you’re doing it. And be Samuel.
Every time you react unthinkingly. Every time you default to fear, to anger, to hatred. The moment you catch yourself doing it.
No matter how right you think you are. No matter how worthy the cause. No matter how much it needs to be done. No matter how much they deserve it. Stop right there.
Even if it’s after the fact. Stop right there. And with the heart of Samuel from today’s first reading, turn away from whatever it is.
Make a break with the moment. Make a break from whatever, or whoever, is winding you up. Take a breath. And turn to God.
Say to God, “Lord, look at what I just said. Look at what I just did. I know that’s not from you. I need your help if I’m going to be yours.”
Ask God, “Lord, empty me of the crap that I would fill myself with. Fill me instead with the knowledge and love of your Holy Ghost, the servant heart of your Christ, and your peace which passes all understanding.”
Then wait on God, with heart of Samuel. A heart that says, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”
This is the key to the Christian life. This is the key to a living faith.
Because when life bumps into us, you and I are going to spill out what’s already in us. That’s the only thing that can happen.
