I Won’t Waste Any More Time On You
Instead of loosing progress in my healing I decided a poem would be better, everything said and done. •^•
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We ended two months ago —
you ran to the same girl
you swore I didn’t need to worry about.
Days after you broke me,
you were hers.
I admit I wasn’t perfect —
I lived inside my regret —
but you were worse,
tearing at every misstep I made,
preaching purity while your hands
were never clean.
You were always cleverer than me —
I could never defend myself
against your cutting tongue.
When we split, I was lost,
hollow,
after I’d carved everyone else out of my life
because you didn’t approve.
Even when my words stumbled,
and my love was quiet,
I sacrificed everything I was
for you —
until I couldn’t remember
who I was,
what I liked,
how to feel anything
without your permission.
I rebuilt myself —
and I hated to admit
I was better off without you.
You were supposed to be my future,
my leader.
Then, on some random Monday night
in the dead of summer,
you texted —
I’m sorry.
I didn’t see it until later,
answered with a single ?,
and you left me on read.
Why?
Why after two months?
Why dig me up
when you’ve buried me so deep
and replaced me so easily?
A hollow apology —
were you checking
to see if I’d still crawl back?
You know I wouldn’t forgive you —
and I won’t.
Still, thank you —
you taught me what it means
to value myself.
I refuse to search
for your reasons,
to bleed again
digging for meaning
where there is none.
I’ve made peace
with never knowing.
You steered every moment
until you broke me open
and left me gasping for answers
that won’t come.
My hatred for you festers —
I won’t let you disturb my sleep
with another word.
I refuse to waste
one more heartbeat
on your ghost.
Your disrespect cut deep enough
for a lifetime —
and I will never question again
how you ever dared
to call that love.
-MZx
