who knows where our limits lie?
we won’t discover ‘til we push it…
By some miracle, the revolving door of people in the apartment doesn’t interrupt Fiona and Auggie’s quiet breakfast. It’s nice for it to be just the two of them for a little while, at least while she got acclimated to being a person again, and not just a lump in her bed.
She knew she was allowed after everything, but she still felt kind of shitty shutting everyone out.
As they ate and chatted about everything she’d missed during the last few days, she felt a little reminded of the days it’d be just the two of them back at their childhood home, or even when he’d come stay with her when she lived in her first tiny apartment in the city.
He told her about Waverly, and what had really been going on with her. From the nightmares, to the sedatives Charlie had put her under.
She guessed she understood, especially since she hadn’t been the one having to deal with her first hand, but she couldn’t hide the disdain for Charlie and his choice to once again keep Waverly in the dark from her own feelings.
Mostly because she was still of the firm belief that if she hadn’t been at any point in her life, she wouldn’t have had to go through everything she had.
Still, there was nothing she could do about that. He seemed to get a free pass usually.
He also told her about Jude hanging around the apartment with Waverly and Eleanor, and about how nice it’d been to have their friend back. How much he’d missed him. It reminded her of how close Auggie himself had been to him, too, always following Jude and Quincy like a shadow from the moment he’d met them.
He told her about the revolving door of family who’d come to see her and take care of her, and everyone who’d had her back.
She’d forever be grateful.
After breakfast, she’d kicked him out to go do something fun. He’d been hesitant, but she’d promised she’d be fine. That she just needed to shower and wash her hair after a week so she could feel like herself again.
“Before everyone comes back. You don’t have to watch me. Promise.”
He’d also made her promise to call if she needed anything at all, and to call Teddy if she couldn’t reach him before heading out to meet said girlfriend.
Getting a moment to herself in the bathroom, she took off her pajamas and took a moment to get a good look at herself in the mirror. It felt like forever since she’d gotten a chance to take herself in.
Her hair felt greasy. Andi and Cece had been alternating in giving her baths, to make sure she wouldn’t get sick, but she didn’t remember them washing her hair.
Her face was more pale than usual, donning dark circles and eye-bags accounting for the days of rest she didn’t get. There was a pimple on her cheek she hadn’t been aware off that started to itch the more she stared at it.
Her abdomen was still somewhat swollen, remnants of pregnancy left behind along with stray stretchmarks here and there. She still felt sore, but much less so than she had since having the baby.
She ran her hands over her body, feeling all the places where she didn’t feel like herself anymore, where she was still left to figure out what was left of her.
It stung a bit in her chest. But she realized she couldn’t linger, because the longer she did, the sooner she’d start to pick herself apart. So she climbed into the shower, letting the hot water soothe the physical and emotional aches and pains she was carrying in her body.
And then she cried. Again
The knock on her bedroom door followed by the shout of her niece startled her from where she stood, having just pulled on a long-sleeved tee shirt. She was grateful they’d chosen now to come in and not earlier, considering her shower had progressed with her hyperventilating for a bit.
Thankfully she was breathing a bit easier now.
“Just a minute, kiddo,” she called softly. She pulled down the towel from her hair and ran her fingers through it, before slipping on a pair of fuzzy socks onto her cold feet.
She made her way to the door and opened it, eyes widening at the sight of Eleanor standing at her feet. The mini version of Jude glanced up at her, wide grin on her face as she held a tiny black puppy in her hands.
“Surprise, Auntie Fi! It’s a puppy!”
“A puppy?” she asked, brows raised high. She poked her head out to the hallway, hoping to see any signs of Jude or Waverly behind her.
“Yeah! For you! Mama and I picked it out today!”
“For me, huh?” Fiona carefully squatted down to her level, taking in the sleepy pup in her tiny, chubby arms and she couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t know who was cuter.
“Yeah, you was sad so…” she shrugged before holding her out to her. Fiona’s heart squeezed. Apparently, her spiral hadn’t been lost on her, either. Reaching out, she grabbed the little puppy from her arms, and she squirmed some before settling.
Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to Eleanor’s forehead. “It’s sweet of you, El,” she told her. “Where is your mom?”
“Over there, c’mon!” she made a mad dash down the hallway, and it took Fiona a second to get back to her feet and follow her down the hallway.
She spotted her sister moving about. It’d been so long since she’d gotten a proper look at her. She missed her, too. “So, a puppy, huh?”
