Tied Together with a Smile
Nearly 365 days after a deep depression almost took my life, I stood at Reputation Tour Minneapolis, surrounded by 50,000+ Swifties yet, the moment Taylor started singing “Tied Together with a Smile” we were the only two people in the room.
I’m not entirely sure where to start this “story” or what is too much to share, but I love this community and it feels like a safe place to share it. It all goes back to 2 years ago, I got really sick, basically long of the short, my body is attacking itself and without a transplant in the (near) future, I won’t survive. The diagnosis meant letting go of dreams to be a Mom. It’s bad enough knowing your time is limited without the transplant, but I had always dreamt of being a Mom and now that had been stolen. I lived that first year after diagnosis in pain and quite honestly, Taylor’s music got me through some long nights but it wasn’t until the depression came to a head that Taylor’s music, one song in particular helped save me from a dark, dark place that felt hopeless and impossible to try and crawl out of.
I would lay in bed all day and listen to the words “Hold on Baby you’re losing it, the waters high you’re jumping into it, letting go, and no one knows“ over and over again. A reminder that I wasn’t alone. That other people have felt this pain. That even the people who seem the happiest are often “Tied together with a Smile.”
So, Saturday, September 1st, I stood in a stadium and Taylor started singing “Tied Together with a Smile” as her surprise song..and I cried😭, but this time, not because I was depressed, or sad, or not wanting to be alive.. but because I was standing in a stadium filled with joy😌 watching someone I have followed and loved for 12 years, and although I’ve never gotten to meet Taylor, she is one of the reasons I’m here today, her words placed beautifully to music, every note, every instrument, every lyric so carefully and thoughtfully strung together, it saved me. So @taylorswift, if you ever see this, thank you, from the deepest part of my soul, thank you. @taylornation
And to all of you Swifties out there who have struggled with depression or are struggling, I LOVE YOU. You are important, you are loved and you are ENOUGH. We (Maria and I) would love to meet as many of YOU as possible at the Arlington show. We have a little bracelet for all of you, as a reminder of the love and support that this FANDOM offers. Swifties are truly the most magical people. For those of you who haven’t heard mine and Maria’s story, we met last month at Rep Tour Minneapolis (she flew from Florida and I flew from NYC) and we are meeting in Arlington for Friday AND Saturday. So please please, come say hiiii, we want to squeeze all of you!!
Thank you for allowing me to share my story...
You are loved❤️,
Amanda













