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Old-School Wedding Etiquette: From Outdated Advice to Timeless Tips
Emily Post's first book about American manners and etiquette was published in 1922 under the title Etiquette and is now on its 18th edition, written by the original author's great-great-grandchildren. This go-to guide to all forms of social, business, and wedding decorum has produced some real cornerstones of etiquette advice that have been passed on from one generation to the next. While each edition is a genuine reflection of its publication date, there are a few tidbits of advice that have stood the test of time. And yet, there are some passages that are downright laughable by today's standards.
Old School: The Hope Chest
Traditionally, this collection would've been accrued by a mother over her daughter's lifetime. The most recent iteration of this would be a cedar chest filled with bed linens, towels, tablecloths, monogrammed handkerchiefs, etc., all to be handed over to the bride as a wedding gift. Though even this version is a bit outdated, as most brides register for those items now.
In the original 1922 version of Emily Post's book, she recommends "her mother buys her, as lavishly as she can, and of the prettiest possible assortment of lace-trimmed lingerie, tea gowns, bed sacques and caps, whatever may be thought to be especially becoming." This in particular probably wouldn't fly in the 21st century, but it's pretty hilarious to think about your mom stuck in Victoria's Secret trying to figure out what a bed sacque is!
Still Great Advice: Introduce the parents before the wedding
In Elizabeth L. Post's 14th Edition of Etiquette (1984), she explains that the tradition of a groom's family "calling on" a bride's parents may be outdated in terminology, but the concept is a nice one to uphold. Either before or after becoming engaged, it's a lovely gesture to get both families together and introduce the parents. In many cases, couples have already casually introduced their parents to each other during holidays or dinner parties. However, if that's not the case, you'll certainly want to get everyone together prior to kicking off the wedding festivities.
Old School: No white allowed if the couple already lives together
While this circumstance would have been improper to acknowledge in 1922, Elizabeth L. Post's 14th Edition of Etiquettementions what's "appropriate" for a wedding of a couple that is already living together. Apparently, white was unacceptable for the bride or any attendants to wear in the eighties, and with that, the use of white flowers in arrangements or bouquets would have been taboo. The bride in her off-white gown could wear a veil, but was not supposed to cover her face with it. Of course, none of this is off-limits in modern day weddings, especially seeing how many brides have taken to the all-white wedding trend of asking attendants and guests to wear all-white attire.
Still Great Advice: Morning weddings are adorable
In the First Edition of Etiquette, Emily Post writes, "a simple early morning wedding where everyone is dressed in morning clothes, and where the breakfast suggests the first meal of the day—could be perfectly adorable!" And we couldn't agree more with this tidbit!
Old School: The double wedding
It's a struggle to wrap our heads around this concept, but a double wedding is a wedding ceremony and reception a mother puts on for her two daughters simultaneously. It's hard to believe this was ever in good taste, as it sounds more than a little complicated to host a wedding of this proportion. If you're interested in how the seating, processional, and reception would work, check out the 14th Edition by Elizabeth L. Post. One perk: At least each bride gets her own wedding cake!
Still Great Advice: Saying goodbyes to both sets of parents
Ghosting is never good etiquette at any party, yet it's become the expectation at most weddings that the couple won't have time to say proper goodbyes. While that may be okay for casual relationships with friends, it's still important to pull parents aside and thank them for a wonderful night before heading out of the venue as a married duo. As Elizabeth L. Post's 14th Edition advice goes, "this small gesture pays many dividends in ensuring the bride a warm place in her new in-laws' hearts."
Six Essential "Wedding Rules" Every Bride Should Know
Photo Credit: Marius Muresan via Unsplash A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime celebration that reflects your love story. But it’s also an opportunity to share your joy with the people who matter most. Guests will remember how they felt at your wedding long after the cake is gone and the photos are framed. By following these six wedding rules, you’ll ensure your big day is not just a milestone for…
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What did the irish do to them???
7 Rules You Can Break on Your Wedding Day
Each year, 2.5 million weddings take place in the United States alone. Many of these ceremonies share certain elements, thanks to wedding “rules” we’ve come to accept over the years. The bride wears a white gown. The couple stands at the altar with a group of their closest friends. Inevitably, the DJ will play Uptown Funk or the Chicken Dance. But here’s the thing: there are no hard and fast rules for putting on a wedding (except for signing the marriage license, of course). If you want to make your wedding a truly unique affair, here are a few traditions you can happily put aside.
1. Wearing White
The white wedding dress was first popularized in 1840 when Queen Victoria wed Prince Albert. The young queen wore white because the color highlighted the lace details on her gown. However, the decision was a peculiar one at the time, as most brides wore brightly colored dresses for their weddings.
After Victoria, white wedding gowns became synonymous with purity—and more importantly, became the standard in bridal fashion. But it’s important to remember why Victoria selected the color: because she liked it! If you’d rather wear a red, blue, or black dress on your wedding day, you absolutely should.
2. Wedding Favors
Bring me 100 people who’ve been to a wedding, and I’ll show you 100 people who don’t care about the favors they received. Wedding favors are often cheap, meaningless gifts that sit in your guests’ purses until they eventually throw them out. Worst of all, buying these little trinkets can be quite expensive! There are plenty of better ways to spend the money in your wedding budget—and better ways to thank your guests for celebrating with you. Trust me, your guests will appreciate better food or more champagne rather than a customized Koozie.
3. Not Seeing Your Spouse Until the Ceremony
On the morning of a wedding, there’s always much to-do over keeping the couple separate. After all, if they see each other before the ceremony starts, theirs will be a doomed marriage…right? Everyone knows how silly this idea is, but it’s a tradition we stick to all the same. While it can be lovely for guests to see that romantic “first look,” there’s nothing wrong with a couple spending every moment of their big day together. If you and your sweetheart want to do a first look photo shoot—or even get ready together in the morning—go for it!
4. Single-Sex Bridal Parties
Getting married is a major milestone in a person’s life, so it’s no wonder that most people want their friends to accompany them on the journey. Bridal parties can be a source of comfort and support, but for too long, they’ve stuck to one rule: brides can only choose women for their bridal party, and grooms can only choose men. Whatever pronouns your best friends may use, they have every right to be part of your bridal party. Don’t be afraid to have male “bridesmaids” or female “groomsmen”! As long as your best friends are at your side when you say, “I do,” tradition can take a hike.
5. The Bride’s and Groom’s “Sides”
When a bride and groom stand at the altar, the bride is always on the groom’s left side. As a result, it’s become custom for the bride’s family to sit on the left side of the venue, while the groom’s family sits on the right. However, once the newlyweds tie the knot, their families become connected by marriage. Everyone at the wedding is one big, happy family, so why not sit like it? Foregoing the traditional family “sides” makes it easier for your guests to mingle with your new in-laws.
6. The Home Goods Registry
For many decades, it was considered a rule to only list home goods on your wedding gift registry, like dinnerware or small appliances. This rule was primarily practical; the newlyweds were often starting adulthood on their wedding day, so they rarely had any household items between them. But these days, couples get married much later in life (and often co-habitate beforehand), so their registry needs have changed. Don’t be afraid to register for the items you and your spouse need. After all, the whole point of a registry is to advise your guests of the gifts that will be most useful!
7. The Cocktail Hour Photo Session
The cocktail hour between the wedding ceremony and reception serves two purposes: it gives the guests a chance to mingle (and get warmed up for the party later), and it gives the bridal party a chance to have their photos taken. But if you ask me, this is another rule that needs to be broken.
Newlyweds used to take their photos after the ceremony to avoid seeing each other before the wedding—another rule we’ve already pooh-poohed. And besides, what couple would want to miss out on cocktails with their nearest and dearest? By moving around the photo schedule, a couple can spend much more time with their guests.
Of course, if you want to stick with these traditional wedding rules, that’s your prerogative. But if these rules don’t sit right with your sensibilities, feel free to push them aside! It’s one way to make your wedding feel a little more like you and your spouse.
The Top 5 Wedding Don'ts
The Top 5 Wedding Don’ts
Yes, your wedding should be all about you and your partner, and include the things you both want. But wedding “rules” have changed. We now live in an era of “doing your own thing” and “there are no rules” when it comes to planning a wedding. However, there really are some wedding don’ts that today’s bride should ever do! The Top 5 Wedding Don’ts 1. Don’t try to be super bride Weddings take a lot…
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Should You Wear White To A Wedding?
✨NEW POST✨ #FashionFriday Should You Wear White To A Wedding? 💍💒🍾 --->
Despite the custom, it is now quite common to see wedding guests wearing a little black or white dress at ceremonies. A floral dress with a white background, white-on-top color-blocked dress… in every combination and silhouette. So, is it okay? Should you wear white to a wedding? It’s true that traditions and customs aren’t what they always used to be. Not all brides wear a white wedding dress.…
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Choosing a San Diego Junta Officiant
Premeditation a San Diego wedding? There are a world of things that fit into the preparations, but one anent those you'd like up occur more intimately involved at is choosing your San Diego wedding officiant. <\p>
The First Meeting<\p>
Your first meeting with a San Diego wedding city father is the flat out important, because themselves is in which time ourselves character be present making your first assize on this person whom you may or may not allow leading your wedding rites. <\p>
During this agglomeration, make sure you let your beliefs known. Explain with as much develop as possible the well-meaning of ceremony that you essentials. Most importantly, slap to jam the vibes of this person. Does he seem right for you?<\p>
If you're not very comfortable, then don't feel pressured at aggregate. Yourselves always dig a choice so as to back smother (not too prehistoric though) and hit upon duck who may expressly feel €more right€ for the purpose. <\p>
Specific Things You'd like up to Identify<\p>
Of course, a San Diego confederation officiant won't really skip to judge civil until you are satisfied about what he plans for your big day, or how fit he is for the role and all that. Still during your first cumulate, ask how he plans to go about the salvo.<\p>
She might also want to know his background as a wedding officiant, and maybe greater and greater fast by the specialist details, kindred spirit as whether or not you can have a rehearsal, if the fee already covers that rehearsal and who has the final say next to the official document. Ask if hombre butt work with your wedding organizer and if you can have the memorialization extrinsic the Church.<\p>
All of these munition do matter, and they're in any case better off taken care off early into your plans thus and so it lust for learning be easy to overlook them later en route to. Work Your Homework<\p>
Wedding officiants know what to do during wedding rituals, but you can't at all times leave everything against ruling class, such as the legalities. In fact, wedding rules and regulations rules vary, depending on where they take place. <\p>
If you are planning to land your wedding opening any concerning the San Diego wedding venues, then you can check with your local registry office. You'd like over against advantage graceful concerning the work yourself so that write down your €I do's€ a deal much sweeter when you finally ought to over against chaff prelacy.<\p>
All of these things mendicancy to be ironed out very early apropos of so all being her come in for to do on your church wedding juncture is shine and overflow with happiness.<\p>