[Wednesday]: What currently weighs on her the most?
(TW: Dementia, mention of abuse)
Nahi no longer had to worry about her extended family seeing her on the estate, she was taking the last few days before they went back in the field to go over how badly off it was. It just seemed worn down which meant she had been right, the gardens would be the best investment to try and find a way for the estate to find a way to make money. Today, she had met with the staff and discussed the upcoming changes and had let them know that she was happy to listen to things they knew about her uncle’s family, she might need ammunition if they went on offensive to take her title.
Nahi no longer had to worry about her extended family seeing her on the estate, she was taking the last few days before they went back in the field to go over how badly off it was. It just seemed worn down which meant she had been right, the gardens would be the best investment to try and find a way for the estate to find a way to make money. Today, she had met with the staff and discussed the upcoming changes and had let them know that she was happy to listen to things they knew about her uncle’s family, she might need ammunition if they went on offensive to take her title.
Deciding to take time before she headed back to the city, she walked to the hill that overlooked the dowager’s house that she had her mother and stepfather in. Settling down to watch over the property, she could see the day nurse sitting with her mother through a window, it looked like her mother,looked frailer than ever, or maybe she had looked like that and her memory defaulted back to when Acenadalia had been healthier.
Drawing her knees up, she crossed her arms on top of them to give her a place to rest her chin. The air held that briny, earthy smell of the beach, sea plants trapped between boulders rotted then dried as the sun pounded down upon them, the mix of life and death that the sea represented captured by a breeze that carried over hill.
Nahi could still just let her family have the estate, or she could offer the title back to the crown, as it was, she didn’t have to take on the responsibility, it didn’t matter how much of an emotional attachment she was beginning to feel for the property again. Her grandmother loved the estate and taught Nahi how to run it as it was clear her father would never be successful at it, he just didn’t give a damn about the land, and she loved her grandmother, but she would not feel guilty if it was just too much for her.
What she did care about was that her mother had a safe place for her. She had been asked multiple times now why she cared about taking care of her mother after the abuse of her childhood, what she struggled to explain was watching a person just lose everything that they were to the outside world while their mind tried to tell them that there was nothing wrong with them.
After the decades she had watched the decline Nahi had gone from hating her mother, to just pitying her, so many times when her mother would abuse her in the the ten she wanted to rage, wanted to tell her about how much she hated her as a child, how much pain her mother did to her growing up, but what was the point? The Diva was now just a woman aged beyond her years to be pitied, not despised.
A figure left the house and began to make his way up the hill, she didn’t move and he just settled in next to her. “Daughter,” Irenthalas said quietly, “you could have messaged, I would have come out to meet you.”
“I did not intend to be seen,” she said simply.
Without even looking at him she could feel the hurt the words invoked, “Nahilvi.”
Her eyes closed and she took a breath, “I was just going to watch for a moment before I went back to the city.”
He did not know she had taken possession of the property to the extent she had, Iren needed to focus on her mother, not split his concern with the women he had taken in so long ago. “You can always message and I will come to you, my child.”
Nahi leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder, “Next time I come out I will let you know first.”
They just sat together while the sun set looking out over the water.
(Thank you for the ask @saltsparkle)