Thoughts from Berlin
It's been a long time since i last saw you. I think it was just before i moved out of Berlin to another City. We met up at my place i got the feeling that you're stressed. I didn't wanted to push you, even though i wanted to tell you that my feelings never vanished, not even slightly. I wished you told me to stay and don't move to Thuringia, not because you want it, but because it would've been better for me. We could've met up when we're both free and spend every precious second we can, together.
I wanted to see you so desperately, so i randomly asked you out of the blue, if we can meet up. You said yes, you just needed some time to clean up and make yourself ready. I waited at the train station for you to get me. Nervous as hell. Then you stood in front of me, my heart just stopped. I was shocked and didn't recognized you for a second. Your hair got a little longer, you had it put up in a bun, mask under your eyes. Oh your beautiful sparkling blue eyes. How could i forget. I couldn't keep a straight face and with a bright grin on my face it bubbled out of me:
Goddammn, you look so good.
I don't know if i saw it right that you smiled under your mask, but your eyes sparkled a little more when i finished that sentence. You grabbed something to eat from Mc's and we walked side by side to your place.
This was only the beginning.
I was still so nervous, it felt like i need more air to properly breathe. I was glad that you talked, about your trip to NY and that you passed your exams in Uni. Like i imagined, i knew you'd pass it. After a while i wanted you to sit next to me, not in front of me. I wanted you near. I was listening to every spoken word from you, trying to keep my cool. Little hugs in between sentences. You felt and saw that i was nervous, so you told me to relax, "it's just me". Yes exactly, it's you im talking to, hugging and desperately wanted to kiss. You knew it as well. But you didn't wanted to ruin any relationship situation going on. I could feel that i wasn't alone with that tension going on between us getting to a point where we both couldn't handle it anymore. I just tried to say : please, i ask you to make the first move. I couldn't even finish my sentence, in the middle of saying it your lips were pressed on mine, gently but passionate. I yearned for that moment, for too long and it finally happened. It was more than wonderful, I'm at loss for words how beautiful it was. All feelings I've tried to hide and forget were there in an instant. Even now, 2 Days later i can't stop thinking about our shared moments together. I wish i could just stop, but i can't, i can't help but love you, like i never loved someone before. I know that you don't feel the same way about me,but even though i know, it doesn't keep me from feeling this way about you.
