wendy darling.
( °. WHEN PETER TOLD her he was sure – confidence lacing his voice, as it had done so many times before – wendy sighed softly. of course he thought so, there was no way for him to know what was on her mind. he’d never guess it, either. though those slightly saddening thoughts which clouded her mind soon disappeared as he brought his finger up to her head to lift her chin, his eyes peering straight into hers, sending a wave of goosebumps down her arms. with a soft smile, she tilted her head ever so slightly to the side before she nodded nearly invisibly. “ i know. “, wendy replied with the sweetest voice, hope radiating through as she thought ‘ maybe he was right… things take time… ‘ because who really knows what the future holds. for her. for t h e m. hearing him speak about neverland made a giggle fall from her lips and she sighed and nodded, a twinkle in her eyes. even though she’d wondered why he hadn’t told her more about neverland ever since his return, wendy was glad to see he found what he’d always been dreaming of. with their gazes still tied to one another, wendy bit on the inside of her cheek as she tried to suppress the urge to step up to him and hug him; pull him close to her and whisper in his ear what he had been doing to her heart since the night he tumbled into her bedroom. to finally let the thing off her chest which had been truly weighing down on her for months now. but she couldn’t. the brunette knew it wasn’t her place. so instead she just laughed kindly and nodded as she answered: “ you are that important, peter. i don’t w a n t you to leave my side ever again. “, and her words were nothing but the truth. those six months without him had been awfully lonely and cold. as if she was missing a part of her. feeling how his fingers moved from her chin up to her ear to push a strand of chocolate hair out of her face, wendy held her breath briefly. it was so sweet, a simple gesture though could it be… i n t i m a t e, almost ?perhaps, it was all just in her head. as quickly as he pulled back his hand, wendy let go of her breath silently before looking back down, the sincere moment gone in the blink of an eye – so fast one would wonder whether she’d only imagined it. the wind caressed her bare skin as she took a small step in his direction, her hair blowing in her face briefly until she brought her hand up to her features to clear her vision again, her eyes still fixed on the thimble around his neck. in any other circumstance, wendy would’ve questioned why he leaned back as she approached – did he not want to have her close when she was undressed ? – but none of the doubts lingered as there was only one thing important enough to occupy her mind: the thing around his neck. as her fragile fingers graced his chest momentarily as they reached for the thimble, wendy felt a small blush reappear on her cheeks. his words made her jaw drop ever so slightly, her gaze finding his as he shot her a sheepish smile. he kept it, around his neck, because he believed it to be his first kiss ? the corners of her mouth slowly curling up into a sweet – fond, loving almost – smile, wendy shook her head slightly. “ you’re so sweet, peter pan. i can’t believe you still have it… “, she whispered, the smile never once faltering. the fact that he kept it so close to him, it did things to her heart she didn’t bother trying to understand. “ but this isn’t a kiss. i mean… it is, sort of. but not a r e a l one. “, the brunette continued, her voice still soft and sweet as she kept her gaze fixed on his.
The confession, or the statement rather, that she did not want him to leave ever again managed to steal the breath out of his lungs, not having expected for his joke to be taken serious, let alone to hear such heartfelt sentence. the hint of a frown washed over his face, his gaze wandering over her features as though he wondered what they had looked like while hehadn’t been with her and a feeling of – not guilt and most definitely not regret, but somethingsimiliar rose in his heart. he couldn’t promise, he knew he would start feeling claustrophobic again in a city as small as carthay, and he knew better now than asking her to join him again, but maybe – considering michael had told him she had been upset, knowing john had just coveredhis hurt, having experienced tink’s reaction and being able to assume wendy’s hadn’t been awfully different – it was time to talk about it. “ later, “ he muttered, again not making too much sense, but it was a topic he didn’t want to address surrounded by his lost boys, “ we can watch the sunset later, alright? “ an offer for some alone time if she wanted it, if the day with a group of boys all fighting for their female friend’s attention wasn’t exhausting enough. when her fingers brushed against his skin peter wasn’t even sure if he still hadn’t breathed ( which would be an explanation to the soft, softer, softest blush rising to his cheeks too ) or she managed to make him speechless again. “ ‘ sweet ‘? “ he repeated the world like it was foreign to him, but it was, wasn’t it? he could not remember someone considering him to be ‘ sweet ‘ before, even as a child being more obnoxious than he was adorable. but how couldn’t he have kept it? his eyes lowered to the thimble, the lightest of frowns beginning to grow on his features. “ i know, “ he muttered quietly. it wasn’t his first kiss by definition, not a kiss at all others would say, but when had peter pan ever voluntarily followed the rules or listened to those incapable of following, ofaccepting a belief for reality? “ it’s like… the hangman’s tree. “ the hideout the lost boys had built when they were around the age of ten, a hollow tree where they claimed to live although their belongings and the beds, each written one of their names on them, remained in the orphanage. “like the lost boys and tink. “ it had never been his real home, his family or his neverland — not by definition, at least. “ it’s not a real kiss, but – “ considering who he was especially and where he was coming; a boy who had been repulsed by the idea of getting close to a person, close enough for lips to touch, the thimble was the kind of kiss that suited him, “ – it’s the one that matters. “ his eyes flickered up to hers, once more to catch her reaction and he realised just then how silly it must’ve sounded. it probably made no sense to her at all. how would it? she had everything in the world and as peter believed, her actions were never picked around his deeply rooted dislike of affection. “ i mean, “ he added before she could even open her mouth to response, lifting his hand to also reach for the thimble as though he had the sudden urge to protect its value from her, “ i know it’s not your first kiss. “ because of all the novels she read and the romantic movies she watched, because she had parents who loved each other and who loved her, because she wasn’t struggling like him, he knew she had always wanted a real one — one which stopped the time and had your heart no longer beating, one where the rest of the world no longer mattered. he’d hardly been the guy then ( his reaction with twelve years most likely one of pure horror, jumping six metres backwards and theatrically making choking noises to make a point of how vile it had been ) and he had not been that guy now — and worried she might start talking about that guy who had classified if he didn’t stop her now, he added: “ but if you had kissed me, really kissed me back then… “ he’d have run as far as his legs would take him and twelve year old silly him would have probably not ever looked back at the weird girl who dared kiss peter pan — an alternative future he did not want to keep pondering on. “ it’s my first kiss, “ a decision he’d made and was forever going to be too stubborn to let go off. besides, he may or may not like the idea of her being in all its metaphorical sense his first kiss; the one that mattered.