Fun things about earaches:
They are painful.
You know that thing where you’re in a plane or otherwise changed altitude and your ears have this split-second of high, thrumming pressure before your ears pop? That’s how it feels, except your ears never pop.
They itch.
Ear is swollen and tender.
Tenderness extends a good one inch all around your ear.
Pain radiates down your jaw and makes it exceedingly difficult to open and chew. (Not to talk, though.)
Sadly, chewing/swallowing is supposed to be helpful, to let the ears drain.
They will not stop throbbing.
The pain is unsymmetric, so one ear hurts worse than the other, and it alternates on different days.
Sleeping is a nightmare. Your ears do not want to touch the pillow. They will throb all night long. They will shriek (literally shriek) in protest if you so much as twitch your head.
If your ears get clogged, your voice sounds like it’s coming out the other end of a phone call.
A particularly bad clogged ear sounds like a badly tuned radio linked to your pulse.
Listening to your heartbeat pulse unevenly in your ears is torture.
You will spend days gritting your teeth and cursing out your past self for not drying your ears after the shower.
Source: I’m glaring at my screen and I can’t move my jaw, take a wild fucking guess.
