i wasn’t quite sure how to answer but mmmmaybe communication? everyone is getting a bit better about it now, but i genuinely think it would've been the party's inability to just be honest about how terrible & traumatizing their experiences were? especially when you're forced to watch your friends die ( more than once ) or have them suffer because of unforeseen circumstances, and no one says a single word about it? and either acts like it didn't happen at all or it just doesn't matter when they have bigger things to worry about.
that, or brushing it under the rug by being optimistic , like , “ what matters now is that we're together !! and as long as we stay strong it won't be like this the next time !! “ which isn't a healthy or good mindset to have? and while elewyn had a bit of a hard time talking about it himself, it was so sad and frustrating to watch the people he cared for not talking about the bad things that happened? which messed with him because he slowly started to internalize all of his negativity, even MORESO than he usually does, & it began to eat him alive piece by piece as their journey continued?
yes, people cope differently, and yes, there's nothing to say sometimes and that's okay too; maybe you just don’t have the words to even talk about it. but, just watching these bad things continue to pile up & have no one acknowledge the mental toll it was taking on them, steered his own health into a terrible direction for awhile. because for elewyn, the self - doubt wouldn’t leave him alone. it was such a constant thing of am i the one blowing all of this out of proportion? maybe i’m the one handling this wrong. and i can’t be the only one drowning in all of this. i can’t be the only one who feels like they’re going to break any second because of this. and it was such a painfully lonely situation because he never knew who he could talk about it with or if anyone really understood how he felt. he’s glad that things are slightly better & that’s not really the case for a few of them anymore; he just hopes that none of them will fall back into that habit of not talking if they can help it.
does your character daydream? what do they usually keep their mind occupied with?
absolutely! elewyn finds comfort in daydreaming & used to do it all the time as a means to cope with his own insecurities, loneliness, & mistreatment? being able to create these kind of fictional fantasies in his head & keep them close to his heart was a kind of solace for him?
& usually, those daydreams used to involve himself going on fantastic adventures, fearlessly traveling & finding treasure, & being able to explore the myth & mystery of the world with his closest allies; he was able to live without being terribly hurt. he was happy, & loved, & treated so much more kindly despite being what he was.
elewyn has always lived with his head in stories & songs, & that’s led him to create his own at every opportunity that he’s given — it’s a passion & a form of escapism that he needed. but, as their journey progressed, those gentle daydreams started to severely lessen & twist into worse: horrible scenarios, anxiety - inducing thoughts, constant overthinking, & etc. his view of his life & the world itself had been cracked so badly when he finally decided to leave home.
he already knew that the world was capable of being cruel, but he didn’t think that it would tear so badly into himself & his friends when all they were trying to do is the RIGHT thing. that, and when all elewyn wanted was to find his place in the world & see that he belonged in it, instead of being persecuted by it.
when he thinks back to those daydreams he used to have, he feels so disconnected from it because reality is just . . . . a lot harsher than he was prepared for. he thought they were rose - tinted & completely childish, & it was so hard to go back to that old source of comfort when those dreams always felt . . . . so bittersweet.
not to mention, just straight up out of place when he’s forced to focus on what’s happening in the MOMENT. he barely touches them anymore, same with the stories & songs that he used to happily indulge in — the one thing that he loved feels like such a heavy effort nowadays, & unimportant when it comes to the bigger missions at hand; defeating the cult & fulfilling his role as the changebringer’s champion. he should feel frustrated at this, at the increasingly empty pages of his notebook, the way his paws won’t move, & his mind constantly feeling hollow. but, he can’t find the energy to be angry; he can barely manage tired most days.
