My muse died in the hospital without yours knowing. Send me a “✉” for the letter they left for your character
It wasn’t because of what I am.
Out of all the ways to go, I got snuffed out by something ridiculously ordinary. Don’t let what you are hinder you, either. Control isn’t something that comes naturally. It’s everything that you feel boiling and bubbling and spewing inside of you, and it’s clamping it shut. It’s not natural, and it’s painful, and perhaps there was an easier way to do it, but it was the only thing I could do. It was how I shielded myself.
Rather surprisingly, alcohol doesn’t help. I felt broken, I knew I was broken, and in my mind, I believed that it helped. There was a deeper part of me however, that knew that it was simply a poorly made gauze. So, I drank more. But when I drank…when I drank, Rox, I gave my other side more control. That control that I believe is so necessary? I practically gave it away; just like that. The battle became more and more difficult. The drinking wasn’t aiding in my memory, but that other part of me – essentially me, as you’re well aware, but not –… more and more times I was waking up and not understanding, and not realizing what had gone on in the last 24 hours. and then 48 hours. Then a week. ,
You have to keep fighting. You have to keep chipping away no matter how difficult it is. You have to breathe, Rox, because there’s still hope. No matter how far down the hole you think you’ve gone down, you can always, always climb your way out. There are people around you that love you, and that want to help you. I wish I had known that – well, I suppose I did, but I refused to accept that help because I believed it would be this burden. And perhaps it was, but as you get older, you come to realize that there are people in this world that are more than willing to help you carry that burden. It may be family, it may be friends, it may be a significant other….
Not everyone is going to abandon you, Roxanne. When you trust, trust hard. When you feel broken, let yourself cry. Let yourself break down. And when you’re happy… hold onto that feeling for as long as you can. Laugh, smile, joke. Shine as bright as you can.
Kid, we’re human, and that’s the difference between you and that wolf.
