This week in Jose Canseco....
Jose later skipped out on the Special Olympics with an "injury" so he could travel to California.
Jose shouted this from the driver's side window of his SUV as he rammed it into another ex-girlfriend's vehicle.
Jose was later informed that people who fly strapped to the wings normally do not receive television privileges.
Monday was another big day for Jose as he got to present the first published work in his return to the literary world.
It was a dark and stormy night, the needles fell in droves -- except for occasional intervals, when they were interrupted by bouts of violent sobbing.
"I am rubber, you are glue" - Jose Canseco, Wednesday, August 1st, 2012
Jose would like you to picture him sitting behind a magnificent oaken desk in front of a shelf lined with fancy books as you read this tweet. A phone number appears beneath him. Call now!
The entire city of Worcester, Massachusetts slowly raises their hands and then quickly puts them down.
Jose quietly mumbles something about a waitress and then erases half of a tweet. Somewhere, a dog howls.
Jose fails to elaborate but rumors persist that he is in negotiations to be the person who wears a Pepsi can costume and dances outside Taco Bell.
And there you have it. As of six PM eastern, Jose is currently headed to Texas in order to work out deals and play some baseball his way. Anybody need a DH? Tune in next week to find out!
