Jun 8
Me, to one of my managers: Oh, by the way, I'll be out from [date] to [date].
Him: Oh cool! What're you doing?
Me:... surgery. 😔
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Czechia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from Bulgaria
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Türkiye
Me, to one of my managers: Oh, by the way, I'll be out from [date] to [date].
Him: Oh cool! What're you doing?
Me:... surgery. 😔
I have 2 hot dogs and am named the Glizzy Gobbler 🤣
Without the bun, I might add
Your girl was starvingggg
@blackcomicbookguy
Coworker 1, to me: I mean this in the nicest way possible, fuck you.
Coworker 2: Actually, would y'all just do it? I'll even give y'all the keys to my house.
Coworker 3: I was just about to say that.
Me: So both of our birthdays are next week, and the two of us are the only people working both days, so for those days I think we should change the flavor of the day to birthday party and wear birthday hats!
Work Bestie: I like the flavor of the day idea, but I don't really want the attention of celebrating my birthday.
Me: OK, but consider: it would be funny, and we would definitely get way better tips.
Work Bestie: ...maybe like a 'birthday girl' ribbon that we can pin to our aprons on our birthday...
Me: Done. You pick it up from the dollar store on your way into town one day, and I'll pay you back.
Work Bestie: OK, sounds good. The tips will definitely be way better...
Work Mom from the connected giftshop: What are you girls talking about?
Me: Well, we had the most brilliant idea!
Work Bestie: *stares at me in terror, frantically shaking her head*
Me: *innocent smile and puppydog eyes* So both of our birthdays are next week, and it's just us in the ice-cream shop both days, so we were thinking of doing something to celebrate. Maybe getting a birthday pin or something.
Work Mom: You should wear birthday hats too
Me: That's what I suggested in the first place!
Work Mom: You should do both! And get all the tips tripled for your birthdays! - oh, I've got a customer
Work Bestie: Well now we have to do it... *glares*
Me: *evil grin* I know! That's why I told her!
Work Bestie: I hate you...
Me: *mischievous giggles*
Customers: *walking into the shop*
Me: *bouncing up to the display freezers & grabbing a scoop, with a probably concerningly large smile on my face* Hi! What can I get you today!
Work Bestie: *stares at me in a mix of shock, concern, horror and amusement*
Customers: Just give us a moment to decide...
Me: *turns to Work Bestie* Mwah ha ha ha ha!
Customers: *SO confused at what they walked into*
How about instead of banning Drag Queens, who are adults doing it for fun and as a career, we should ban Child Beauty Pageants, which are adult parents exploiting their young children into false sense of beauty and to make money off their children.
Me: We aren't having turkey. We are going to do chili-
Tay: It is literally the one time of year you are supposed to have turkey!
Me: LISTEN! We don't have any friends or family down here and I will eat chili on Thanksgiving if I want!
Me: ...
Me: ...don't tell Brit I said that.
Tay: I'm telling Brit.
my coworker: yeah my gf thinks i have anxiety
me: oh?
my coworker: yeah because, for example, after i lock the doors at night and check them three times i go upstairs. then if i hear a noise i think someone broke in, even though i locked the doors, so when i leave my room i open the door with my fist up ready to fight
me: my dude...