*at the receptionist’s desk, signing some paperwork*
Me: Excuse me, could I please speak to Jimothy?
Receptionist: Ma’am, Jimothy is far too demonic for your first day-
Me: Satan?
Receptionist: Yeah sure, I’ll ring him up.
*in Satan’s office, delighting in the spinny chair privileges*
Me: Hello, Satan. Man, that was a satisfying line!
Satan: *sighs* Yes, yes. Now, child of hell, what can I do for you today?
Me: First: Doc take off the damn costume everyone knows who you are-
Doc: Aw man..
Me: Second: I need help getting… revenge
Doc: Ohoho
Me: what.
Doc: No, No, don’t talk to me. Talk to him.
*Doc moves his spinny chair to the left, revealing another one facing the wall*
Grian, turning around in his office chair and doing The Thing: I have been Expecting you.
Me: Why- Why did you emphasize “expecting”???
Grian: Secrets of the caves. Anyways, you want to get revenge. Maybe.. resist?
Me: Nope I’m outta here- time to consult my uncle y’all are psychopaths
Grian & Doc: NO!! WAIT!!!! JOIN THE DARK SIDE. WE HAVE COOKIES.
Me: Chocolate chip?
Grian: You best your best gear!
Me: 🎵I am aN S-TIER
*Evil Anvil’s I Turned Double Life Into A Song feat. All Double Lifers begins to play*
Me: OI- *blows the horn*
*Oh no. Why did you have to do that? A swarm of people flood the office, singing along and providing lyrics like the absolute champions they are*
Me: OKAY THEY HAVE THIS HANDLED I’LL DEAL WITH IT-
