Day 1 again
Been here before that is no lie. But I am learning to make my self care a priority. Back up to the summer, the last time I posted here, my anxiety and stress started to climb and my depression became a little much. I was crying pretty much every day, during and after work for two weeks. I could not control my anxiety and I sought help. After taking an hour each week, I have made vast improvements. I am learning to cope with my anxiety and become more assertive. It has helped with my work and personal life immensely. It’s not something that is completely ever going to go away, but that is why it is important to keep working on it.
I love my job, I love being good at it, I love being successful at it. But it shouldn't be the only thing. Because I am committed, I put my personal well being last and it has clearly taken a toll mentally, but also physically. Now that I have gotten a stronger handle on my mental well being I am working on the physical.
After talking with my therapist, I realized I needed to do some “house cleaning.” I technically had 3 memberships, one to my crossfit gym, one to a 24 hour gym, and a class pack that I buy for yoga classes. Ironically the only thing I was still going to was yoga on Saturdays. Most likely because of the strong mental and physical benefits of it.
I was clinging to my crossfit membership, the most expensive out of the three, mainly because it helped me so much in the past. But everytime I would think about going, I would open the app to sign up and the workout was the first thing you see. It just didn't sound fun anymore and the commute was too much. After a few attempts and sitting in bumper to bumper construction traffic, it did not feel worth it after an hour and half commute home.
I had to let it go as Elsa says.
After researching different gyms and talking to friends, I came to the decision to try Orange Theory Fitness. I tried a class a few years back and really liked it but I was going to a different crossfit gym at the time that was my thing and couldn't afford to do both. There is one like 10-15 minutes from my house, and I could go there when I travel for work too.
I went the other day and absolutely loved it. It was challenging and felt great. And everyone was super nice and accepting.
Don’t know if I will be doing it forever, but for now it feels like the right fit and thats most important.
I plan on still doing yoga, because class packs don't expire. I could buy 10 and it lasts me like 4-5 months.
And I am going to try to do a weightlifting class at a different crossfit gym once a week to keep my strength. Which was really my favorite thing about crossfit anyways.
Healthy eating is still hard right now but that is part of my goal. Working out has made me crave and want healthy food, so that will come with time, but my overall goals are 1. Lose 20 pounds 2. Get more energy 3. Develop a consistent self care routine.
I know this post was a little more serious than how I usually write but it’s important to talk about. If you have anxiety or depression and have ever thought about getting help do it. Do it before it gets to be too much to handle. Call your insurance, they will cover most or all of it. Found mine through https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
It’s ok to put yourself first.
